ryan123 Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Disclaimer: I am not a poet nor do I ever write poetry... This has been something ive been thinking about doing since i was inspired in March of 08...Its about a man(my friends grandfather) and his late wife who was taken away early by cancer. They were really nice people and i thought I owed it to them to write something to remember them by. snowy street, suffering cold this thirty by twelve cabin cell calls memories made mingling, haunting alone you sit, to die pain penetrating pillows you sleep an angry man, bitter at this hell you must go at alone hands hurting, back breaking, cackling cancer hysteria filled, hollow head do you see her at night like you say does she call for you waiting waiting, waiting for what for death to come whisk you away intertwined with your other half go now old man, shes waiting culling cries concentrated i wouldn't blame you if you left 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keenan Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 wow -- vivid imagery, ryan! the alliteration contributes a lot of power. it's also very sad -- filled with pain and bitterness. i don't know if that's what you were going for -- more 'escape from torment' than 'release into the arms of a waiting loved one' are you planning to give it to the family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan123 Posted August 27, 2008 Author Share Posted August 27, 2008 i originally wanted to make it all alliteration but that would have been too hard and too thought involved. i really just threw this together this morning. i wanted it dark. its about a dark subject. its matter should be dark. i think anyways. i dont know. i think that theyd think im weird. i really only wrote it to remember all that theyve done for me..but maybe thats not a bad idea. thank you for those compliments though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredofvampires Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Disclaimer: I am not a poet nor do I ever write poetry... Well, now you are, and now you do! This is solidly good, ryan! It's really raw and I like that. And it's also just a wonderful thing for you to remember him/them this way. I would be really happy in the afterlife knowing a kid liked me this much, to write me an ode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan123 Posted August 28, 2008 Author Share Posted August 28, 2008 Well, now you are, and now you do! This is solidly good, ryan! It's really raw and I like that. And it's also just a wonderful thing for you to remember him/them this way. I would be really happy in the afterlife knowing a kid liked me this much, to write me an ode. Thank you! Kindness isn't something that you find everyday from someone, let alone a stranger. They were always smiley and family oriented people. And theres something you got to admire about a couple who married at 14 and stayed together until the end. Faithfully. Seeing that broken man after she was gone was sad. Hearing him tell me that she lifts him up at night and talks to him in his dreams was sad. Yet beautiful. Very beautiful. I couldn't help but think he was crazy...But heck i'd be the same way...I wouldn't want to accept that my wife of 50+years is forever gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted August 29, 2008 Share Posted August 29, 2008 well done hun we'll make a poet of u yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryan123 Posted August 29, 2008 Author Share Posted August 29, 2008 Thanks dear!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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