resignation blues

[denise_14]

You've read right. Effective July 30, 2009, I resign. Whew. I finally decided to end my agony with the bank. It was a tough decision to make. It was a stable job, which means I no longer have to worry for the rest of the months (and perhaps years) to come, thinking of where I'll get steady income nor worrying about possible unemployment. Nowadays, it's so hard to find a job for permanency. That, and all other considerations, made deciding even harder for me. Nevertheless, I really couldn't see myself and my future in the bank. I knew that sooner or later, I would leave...so why prolong the agony? I must act now. I must fulfill my dreams. I must do what would make me happy.

 

I don't know where I'm going after I resign. I failed to attend to several interview invitations because I couldn't afford to be absent from work. Now, maybe, if I get another one, I would really try my best to show up to the interview. I can't let any opportunity pass. Maybe now that I've already filed my resignation, they would have to understand if ever I'll be absent.

 

I am going through a very difficult time right now. I am not regretting my decision...I'm just scared because tomorrow's so unsure now. I made serious risks with regards to my financial stability. However, I also realized that a stable job does not equate to a fulfilling career.

 

I am thankful for all those people who have been good to me and have made my stay in the bank a memorable experience. Generally, everyone has been nice to me. I am also thankful my parents are understanding enough and that they support me in every decision I make.

 

And I am thankful that I experienced this. If God puts you to it, He'll get you through it.

[denise_14]

Since I already tendered my resignation and I am now merely counting my last few days in the bank, the next step would have to be finding a new job. So here I go again, back to square one.

 

It seems like I'm spending more time in my lifetime looking for a job than actually working. Technically, I've only had six months total of work experience (make it seven, if my web content writing trainee stint ever counted). It's been more than a year since I graduated from college. Where have the other days and months gone?

 

Has anyone heard of McCann, the advertising giant? I'm actually eying on this one. It's only recently that I came to know about the company, but I've already been hearing good feedback.

 

I've always wanted to work with such industry. I feel that I will be able to maximize my talents and potentials in advertising or marketing, well basically anything that had to do with communications. I love to read, write, speak, meet with people, travel a lot. Yeah I know I should keep my expectations down. I'm not even sure if this would be possible in McCann. Wait, what am I thinking. I haven't even sent an application there.

 

Good thing one of my fraternity brothers happened to work there, and he said that he'll try to help me out. I'll have to count on that; the least I could do, anyway.

 

Something that really caught my attention was when he advised me that should I ever get invited for interview, I have to come and look glamorous. lol! I wonder what's in there. It makes me all the more excited. I imagine myself dressing up everyday when reporting for work, meeting up with big people, and having so much time! (while earning, naturally, it's still work, y'know)

 

Last night, we had a phone convo and he said that I might get an interview this coming Tuesday. OMG! I am so excited.

 

McCann, here I come.

[denise_14]

So I went to McCann last Tuesday. My fraternity brod accompanied me. It was a good thing I didn't keep my hopes too high. They're on freeze hiring as of the moment.

 

I liked the feel of the office, the nature of the job, the company, everything! Unfortunately, there's no place for me there. Sigh.

 

Since I was already along the city's business avenue, I thought of trying my luck by dropping by the office of one of those direct marketing companies that gave me a text message a about a month ago or so, inviting me for an initial interview. I wasn't able to report during my interview schedule then because I couldn't afford to be absent from work ( I haven't really decided to resign then). I just though that maybe, just maybe, they might entertain walk-in applicants. Goodie! They did.

 

I made it through the interview (mind you, it was a group interview, kinda weird, really). They said they're gonna screen our resumes and call us again should we be qualified for a second interview. Apparently, the group interview was just to gauge our communication skills (whatever).

 

This is probably the weirdest company I've ever encountered. They promise to make us managers, and by managers, they actually mean us owning a company. What the... I'm sorry I couldn't explain much further because I myself got so confused with the idea. I am not here to bad mouth about the company (but if anyone here is really interested to find out what it is, send me a pm and perhaps I can divulge more info) but I would just like to remind everyone to really be careful in choosing where you apply and what posts you accept. Yeah, times are tough nowadays and more and more people are becoming jobless. Nevertheless, please don't just grab anything just for the sake of being employed or you might regret it sooner or later.

 

When I got a text message from this company a month ago, I googled the company and found out really weird stories from blog entries of people who happened to work there. This is why I didn't bother to show up for the interview. I mean, if it was really worth it, I would really sacrifice one working day at the bank. It just so happened that I was just around the city last Tuesday and my curiosity arose so I thought of checking it out to confirm the horror stories I've read when I researched about the company. I guess they were right.

 

So that's it... strike 2. I wasnt able to find a promising job. Not in McCann, and certainly not in this company. Oh my... where's the job for me?????

[denise_14]

This is my 500th post for ENA, which marks my Gold Member Ranking!

[denise_14]

Yes, it's official: I am bum.

 

Despite the constant and persistent convincing of my superiors and peers not resign, I still did. I have to admit that I felt sad especially during my last day at the bank. I felt the same when my contract for my previous job in an ag/pharmaceutical company was about to end. More than anything else (the paycheck, the workload, the workstation/cubicle), it's actually the people I've worked with that makes it harder for me to leave work. Imagine seeing them everyday, having lunch and coffee break (with gossips on the side) together, sharing both professional and personal concerns... Ahhh. I would surely miss those guys.

 

And I will miss waking up early in the morning...and dressing up...and all the perks of being employed.

[denise_14]

but I doubt if I want to die writing

 

I needed to take a break from all these writing stuff (but I'm writing in ENA, lol)

 

I am now an independent contractor (IC) for my very first employer - a research, writing and data entry services company. I was an in-house writer then for them but the stint only lasted for a month. You can check out my first few entries (yeah, it's the one I was ranting about).

 

Who would have thought that after a year, I would be once again connected to this company, though it's a different set-up now. It's a sort of freelance thingy...work from home...whatever you want to call it. I was going crazy over my bumming and I knew that if I don't do something productive until I get a new job, I will lose my sanity for good. This is why I decided to call my boss and ask if I could work for them as an IC.They always believed in my talent as a writer and they hired me...again.

 

It just sucks that I am writing about topics I don't really care about. Primarily, we are writing for SEO. While I don't really care about being a ghost writer, I am not comfortable of writing and not loving what I'm writing. I hope that makes sense.

 

But this how they play the cards in the online business arena..and this is how I earn extra bucks...for now.

 

Gotta get back to work!

[denise_14]

 

The Philippines

 

got hit by a dreadful typhoon and is

 

in dire need of help.

Donations and prayers are most

 

welcome.

 

 

 

photo taken from: link removed

[denise_14]

I think it's been almost a month since the last time I've dropped by the forum. I had a lot of things going in my personal and professional life. Well, here are some updates....

 

Since I resigned in July 30, I found employment in a government agency only to find my self leaving again after 15 days.

Whoa! Don't worry guys, I wouldn't declare the stint in my CV; it would definitely create an ugly impression.

 

If you were wondering what has gotten in my head once more, well, I got an offer from the multinational AG company I've worked with before. It wasn't an easy decision to make, really. I'm glad my boss (in the government agency) was very understanding and supportive. He assisted me every step of the way until I finally made my not-so-graceful but acceptable exit. I will probably discuss the details in a separate entry.

 

I didn't give up the web content writing stint even if I already found full-time employment.

Call me workaholic but I thought that maybe I can still squeeze in the writing job during weekends and when I have free time during weekdays. Well I actually thought I can sneak in with the writing job at the office but it seems like a bad idea. Internet usage in the office is solely for business purposes and all the sites we visit are monitored, for security purposes. This is why I couldn't do my research work there. Not to mention the fear of getting caught by my boss doing something not related to our work. Lol.

 

Right now, things are still manageable. I'm not so sure how long I'll be able to hold on to this part time writing job, but I plan to keep it for as long as I can. The extra bucks I earn is really of great help.

 

I just turned 22... a year wiser and happier.

 

My birthday this year is indeed memorable because I've got Alex with me, and everything is going well with my family and career. ^_^

 

*****

So that's it! There's something here in ENA that keeps me coming back even though I've been gone for quite some time. Whatever it is, I don't really care. It feels good to be back...

 

And before I forget,advance Happy Halloween!

[denise_14]

It's weird. I'm talking about my ex, Phil. I really dunno but I just feel like writing about him right now. We exchanged a few test messages last night (mind you, he was the first one who texted). It was no biggie though.

 

One of my college friends and housemates, Lisa, whom I haven't seen since graduation day told me Friday night (also thru text)that she saw Phil somewhere in the city with a girl. According to Lisa, it was like a double date because they were with another couple. Of course, my curiosity aroused. Who's the lucky girl? Is she pretty? Are they officially together?

 

Last night, I jokingly told him that I saw him in the city while he was having a date. He said he wasn't in the city. I wonder why he always denies instances when he's with some other girls. And I also wonder why ever since our romantic relationship ended and we've remained good friends, he never called me again by my first name, He calls me "dude" instead.

 

I'm missing Phil. He was my one great love. Even now that I am with Alex, I still think about him occasionally I haven't stopped caring about him. Sigh.

[denise_14]

1. Holiday Vacation Galore

 

I will officially be on vacation mode starting December 24, 2009 until January 04, 2010 so I am really hoping for fabulous R&R for the days ahead!

 

2. dSLR and Mac

I am not a tech-savvy and I am not familiar with the latest gadgets, but a dSLR and a Mac is a different story!

 

3. Chocolates

and pastries, cakes, candies.... I sooo love to eat! This is the time of the year to indulge! For those people who don't know me too well and are not aware that I am a fan of designer bags and dolphins, they can give me food as Christmas gift instead

 

4. Dolphins to add up to my collection

 

5. a solution for climate change

6. world peace

7. good health, prosperity, and happiness for all my friends and loved-ones

 

8. that every family in the world may have a meal on their tables for Christmas eve no matter how simple or extravagant

 

9. a bottle of perfume

10. peace of mind and love for all enot aloners

 

Merry Christmas guys! Hope you'll have a meaningful one and a blast for 2010!

 

Cheers!!!!

[denise_14]

No, I'm not talking about the classic novel here. I am just pissed off because for the nth time, Alex didn't meet my expectations.

 

It's all very simple. All I wanted was to maximize my holiday break and spend quality time with him. He knew about this very well. He delightfully agreed, only for me to find out later on (last night, to be specific) that he had not made plans at all. What pissed me off the most is that he didn't even made an effort to make it up to me. All I got was a lame sorry through text. The worst, he still hasn't texted me the entire day. Damn...

 

I hate to admit how I sulked in tears last night because I really, REALLY felt bad. I shouldn't have expected too much, it hurts too deep.

 

Alex, he is a poor planner. I've come to accept that as I got to know him each passing day. Well, that's the way it goes. In relationships, you need to accept your partner and his shortcomings. I am not the perfect girl, I have my own shortcomings too. There are things about me that I was able to improve though. Of course, there are those that can never be changed, but at least, the efforts are all in.

 

Effort. That's all I want from him. Right now, he doesn't even make an effort to reach out...not a single text or call.

 

As I quote from Phil, "in expecting, I hurt myself"...

[denise_14]

A blessed,

prosperous, & kick-a**

New Year to everyone!!!

 

Let's leave 2k9 behind and look forward to better days that 2k10 has in store for us!

 

I may not be always around in the forum like I was a few years ago (pardon guys, I have a corporate ladder to climb, a social life to boost, and a relationship to rock ) but my heart goes out to everyone in ENA!

 

For tirelessly reading my journal entries and trying to be of help to each and every member, kudos to you, enotalone rs. I will try my best to keep you posted with my juiciest whereabouts and whatabouts, lol!

 

Fill this world with positivity and all else shall follow... God is good. Live to love. ^_^

[denise_14]

So I returned to the office last January 4 and the first thing I did was to check out the regular and special holidays declared by the President for 2010! lol!

 

It's good to know there are several long weekends for the Year of the Tiger, thanks to the holiday economics scheme. This not only boosts local tourism, it also gives families time for bonding and R&R. Well, I have to give it to our President; sometimes, she is still capable of doing something right & agreeable Since they already announced the holidays, everyone can plan ahead especially for long travels that entail early bookings and enough time to prepare.

 

Only the daily wage workers are of a disadvantaged position when there are many non-working holidays. Well, think of the bright side, guys! You need to spend time with your loved-ones too. Even God rested on the 7th day. Or better yet, seek for a full time and permanent employment that entitles you full benefits, including holiday pays. (This would be a good resolution for the new year, watchathink?)

 

So there, I already marked the important dates in my calendar. Of course, I look forward to more dates with my baby This year, we plan to have a sports date at least once a month. We also want to pursue with our travel plans that never materialized last 2k9. Out of town and out of the country trips are on top of our list.

 

I am not yet a permanent employee and my initial contract ends by April. So around February, I should start seeking other employment opportunities just so I have a fallback in case my contract would no longer be renewed. Nevertheless, I am still hoping for the best.

 

I don't know yet how I will spend my birthday, but I want to try something different this year..something charitable

 

 

The Starbucks 2010 planner has a good design.

[denise_14]

I thought I wouldn't be able to enjoy this weekend because up to the last minute of Friday when I was about to get out of office, my boss gave me a task that's due BEFORE Monday. Now was that TORTURE or what?

 

So when I got home, I rested for a while then got my laptop and worked til the wee hours. I slept around 4am. I just wanted to get off the task. I'm so glad I did.

 

The next day I tried to catch up on sleep. When I woke up, my baby has been texting me. Apparently he called over the landline while I was asleep. It was my mom who answered the fone. He was gonna invite me to join his family in celebrating the birthday of his nephew in an island resort owned by his sister-in-law's family. I've always wanted to go there even before Alex and I haven't even met so I knew that I won't miss this opportunity. I got up from bed and took a quick shower. Good thing I finished just in time and was still able to join them.

 

It was one of our best days together. Beautiful sight, good food, everything was just perfect. We strolled around the island. We felt (and we were, literally) secluded from the hustle and bustle of the busy city. It was a fantastic moment and the best thing is that I was invited on a family event. I felt really special.

 

I'm just really glad I've already submitted my assignment to my boss, or else, I wasn't able to enjoy at all! Do not do for tomorrow what you can do for today. This motto rocks!

 

On several instances when we were alone I wanted to get intimate with him but had second thoughts because it was a family affair with a wholesome feel and I didn't want to spoil the moment. One more thing, the kids were roving around the island too, running and sometimes driving golf cars. It wouldn't be pleasant if they catch us doing stuff. lol!

 

When I got home, we were still texting. He told me that he also thought of getting a blowjob from me while we were in dark spots of the island. I told him I had the same naughty thoughts as well!

 

Well, there's always next time. Even if we didn't get intimate, I am still very happy for spending the rest of the afternoon til the late evening with him and his family. I wish next weekend we'll have more time to spend alone because it's been a while since the last time we got really intimate. I remembered when we were inside his car and waiting for a parking space at the mall, he suddenly unhooked my bra and held my boobs and I felt really aroused. If it weren't for the roving guards, I could have given him a blowjob right there and then. Darn. Well, the guards were just doing their job. lol! You see, for three consecutive weekends now, we were together but never really had the privacy we needed. For the first weekend of the month, we went shopping. The next weekend we planned to check-in a hotel but his sister wanted to go the mall again so we accompanied her. This was when the incident at the parking lot happened (her sister wasn't in the car, FYI). And yes, this weekend, the island trip.

 

Whatta great getaway! Now, I am fully charged and ready to take on the challenges of the coming week. Tomorrow's another day in the office. Work, wait for me.

[denise_14]

not ENA, of course, but my current job...lol!

 

My application to one of our company's competitors was considered and this coming Tuesday, I'm back for my second interview (the first was last week, with the HR Supervisor). Guys, please wish me well.

 

I feel that this would be a major career move, and I feel the positive vibes. I really need to get a life. The thing is, the company I'm currently working for still doesn't have an item for a regular post. Yeah, they would renew my contract of services, but I figured out that I can't go on like this. I want to be a regular employee...entitled to full benefits... an employee with identity and clear direction.

 

They say patience is a virtue, I strongly adhere to this. However, I also believe that opportunity comes once in a lifetime. Why should I stick around with a company that couldn't promise me anything when there is a chance for a better employment elsewhere.

 

I really don't know what to expect, but I'm fervently praying for the best. I hope I pass all the interviews. If hired, I also hope they will offer a better package, because in fairness to my current employer, they are really giving me a high rate.

 

If ever I decide to transfer, this would entail a lot of sacrifices. Moving out of our comfort zone...cliche but true.

[denise_14]

I really envy people who can maintain an interesting and informative blog. There are times when I wanted to start my own and utilize the features in my Windows Live, but I hold back, for a number of reasons.

 

Firstly, being the anti-[web]social that I am, I refuse to reveal myself in the cyber world. Friendster. Multiply. Facebook. Twitter. Nah! I never had any of those. I agree that these social networking sites are extremely helpful especially for friends because you are able to catch up and be updated with what's going on with each other's lives...oh well.

 

One more thing, I'm sure I will not be able to maintain a good blog/site. Who would want their page to look like crap, right? I am just too busy with the real world.

 

But I love ENA. And I think I can settle with this online journal. I am able to keep my identity and express myself. Sometimes I wonder who are the members following my entries, if any

 

I'm in the mood for writing. I have a lot of things going on right now. I dunno where to start...hmmm...

[denise_14]

My mom and I kinda cleaned up the house and rearranged the furniture right at the area in front of my room. It was one of my frustrations, really, to throw away all the junk so the area would look more spacious and neat. Now, all clean and tidy, it'll be my bro's sort of music room. I just feel so great that this Sunday was so productive!

 

Well, my bro hasn't appreciated it yet because he was too busy cramming over school work. Maybe next weekend, I hope! I really extracted my creative juices in designing the room. I wanted everything to be functional and pleasant to look at.

 

I would really love to take Interior Design classes. I am just fascinated with designing homes, I want to rearrange furniture once in a while just to see how they'll look. When I was younger, I would buy small pieces of furniture for my doll house. Every week, my doll house would have a new look. This afternoon, I again rearranged my old (and really dusty) doll house and fond memories of my childhood flashed back. I felt like a child again...and it's the best feeling

[denise_14]

Tomorrow (Thursday) and Friday is a non-working holiday in observance of Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. A super long weekend indeed.

 

I have always believed that Lent, especially the Holy Week, is a time for reflection and simplicity. While others prefer to hit the beaches and other tourist spots to maximize the holiday, our family stays at home and observes the Catholic traditions inculcated in us throughout generations.

 

I will definitely take some time off from all the hustle and bustle. Workaholic as I am, I will try my best not to check my mails and work from home. I will also observe fasting and abstinence.

 

This is denise, now signing off...

 

----

For God so love the world, He gave us His only son...

[denise_14]

now what am I supposed to do with it

 

Definitely a part of it would go to the bank. I am actually thinking of opening another bank account, perhaps a time deposit account.

 

It's summer break and my younger bro wants to enroll in badminton training. So there goes part of the dough.

 

I would also pay in full the ticket for the musical we're going to watch this August...

 

Easy come, easy go...

[denise_14]

So the payroll staff told me I wasn't really entitled with the midyear bonus because I am just a project employee. What a crap! I had no choice but to return the money (they will automatically deduct it to my salary anyway if I wouldn't). I don't know if I'll be angry at them or just laugh at their mistake. This wasn't the first time they overlook the payroll process and gave me extra only to find out later on that it was out of accident! Oh well... good thing I haven't spent all of it yet. And I thought I would have enough to splurge for the next couple of months... sorry to burst your bubble!

[denise_14]

Finally! It's official.

 

Last Friday after attending a sorority function, I met up with Alex. Well, that was our usual arrangement. After our respective gimmicks or activities he would pick me up then we'll spend the rest of the night together and the next day he would bring me home. Neither did I know that it won't be the usual Friday...

 

Instead of checking-in at a nearby hotel, he suggested we sleep at his place. It was something new and an idea I really liked. So I had a lot to drink and I really felt very dizzy that he even had to change my clothes cause I couldn't do it for my self anymore. Naturally, we both felt very aroused. He kissed my boobs and went down on me. We made love and it was so damn good especially knowing that we're doing it for the very first time in his own room.

 

We didn't really sleep in that room though; we transferred to another room where the rest of his family also stays. This is the kind of sleeping arrangement they had at home, and I find it cute because in our home, we as a family also like to sleep altogether in one room.

 

Before we finally kissed goodnight, he told me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and finally said "I love you". Darn! That was kinda unexpected and I really couldn't explain how magical the moment felt.

 

After almost 1 year and five months of exclusively dating, we moved a notch higher and I realized that it was all worth the wait. I'm glad I never rushed into things. I have to admit there were times when I wanted to give up or complain about our status because I felt that I am not a girlfriend material or that we're headed nowhere and I'm left hanging but now, all my doubts vanished. He said that he was just waiting for the right timing to tell me how he truly feels. Awww.

 

I am so happy and I promise to give him the best of me.

 

When we woke up the next day, we refused to get up and remained cuddled at bed. Since there were still other members of the family sleeping in the room, we concealed our naughty deeds under the sheets. He held my boobs and kissed them. In return, I gave him a hand job. He gave me a good fingering and I was so wet and had to bite my lips cause I couldn't moan. When the others got up and only the two of us were left in the room, we did what we had to do.

 

I love you baby...

[denise_14]

A pretty tough week of resignation blues. I got a counter offer though. I realized that the company needs me, and that felt good, really. A moral boost. So I think I'm gonna stay for now (definitely not for good).

 

The weekends are so short. I feel that I haven't gotten enough rest that I so deserve after a very stressful week at the office. Now it's already Saturday night, and Sundays sighs are creeping in...

 

I thought that my guy was gonna pick me up to join his family for the birthday celebration of his niece and nephew. Well he actually said he would yesterday. So I waited but he didn't come. Actually it was okay because I wasn't really in the mood to socialize and just wanted to laze around the house and catch up on sleep and rest that my good office has always deprived me of. I just feel bad that he didn't even expressed he was sorry for the canceled appointment. Oh well...

[denise_14]

Happy Fathers' Day!!!

I love you daddy....

[denise_14]

I saw my ex last night during a frat gathering and he looked awesome. He kinda trimmed down because from what I've heard he's been into running a lot (this is quite a craze nowadays..most of my friends run too and even at the office, the HR organized a fun run). So he looks really fit and healthy which is good.

 

Well, he's always been handsome since day 1. But more than the physical attraction, a sudden flashback of happy memories thrilled me upon seeing him last night. We didn't get the chance to talk; just the courteous "hi" and he offered me a glass of water (still related to the running thingy...he avoids alcoholic drinks and sticks to water).

 

I'm just proud of myself because I'm no longer the desperate and pathetic ex who would do anything just to get his attention and convince him to talk to me during large gatherings, just like the old days as if we were still together. This I owe to the fact that aside from I learned to give me self-respect and pride, I should act accordingly considering that I now have a boyfriend too.

 

And so it makes me wonder if Phil's no longer single too. He seems happy. For a guy who's good-looking, smart, and well-off, he could get a girl in a snap of a finger. But of course, he's not that type. He is for long-term relationships built on friendships.

 

I miss being with him. ](*,)

But now I need to get back to my senses.

[denise_14]

Alex has been unemployed for nearly 3 months now. I don't blame him for resigning from his job before because the situation is no longer healthy. I can say that I've been a very understanding and supportive girlfriend all the time. Besides, I've been jobless for several times too, for several reasons, so I know the feeling.

 

Well, 3 months has been long enough, and I'm getting impatient. I feel that it's taking him so long to find a new job. I'm even more bothered by the fact that I feel he's not even bothered of his situation! He's just happy-go-lucky. Well, in fairness to him, he's gone to 2 applications already. Still, I think that it's not enough...he's not doing enough!

 

I keep on telling him to be aggressive, like do walk-in applications. He would just say yes, okay..but he doesn't do it. I always forward to him the job alerts I receive in my email but he just reads them. He doesn't respond at all.

 

I don't know how to talk to him about it, I don't want to sound like I'm nagging or putting pressure on him. Sometimes, Alex tends to feel inferior because his grades in college weren't too impressive and I don't want to add on that.

 

I'm really getting impatient...