Kahdeksan Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Sigh... I've just found out that she's moved on, found a successful managerial position and is now living with someone... I always thought that I'd be prepared for this, now though I feel somewhat of a failure, failing to live up to her expectations and all... It is indeed a whimsical day. The saddest part is I still want her... I know I must find the strength, but it's just so hard. So very hard and depressing... I was so lively a chirpy before she came along and messed up my life... I know I can live without her eventually, but just the dread at this moment, I'm suffering alone and the pain is like an ulcer eating it's way through my heart and stomach. I need to cry but I can't... I so want to cry this pain out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight40 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Sigh... I've just found out that she's moved on, found a successful managerial position and is now living with someone... I always thought that I'd be prepared for this, now though I feel somewhat of a failure, failing to live up to her expectations and all... It is indeed a whimsical day. The saddest part is I still want her... I know I must find the strength, but it's just so hard. So very hard and depressing... I was so lively a chirpy before she came along and messed up my life... I know I can live without her eventually, but just the dread at this moment, I'm suffering alone and the pain is like an ulcer eating it's way through my heart and stomach. I need to cry but I can't... I so want to cry this pain out... C'mon be strong you can do this, youve come this far, you were 'lively and chirpy' before her and you will be again some day. You certainly are not a failure. You have to live up to your expectations now and no one elses. You knew this day was going to come and you do have that strength inside to deal with it. Dont allow this to mess up your life anymore than it already has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Thank you Starlight, thank you for you warm and comforting support. Your mother's words ring so true in my relationship... we never argued much... and she walked all over me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journogirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 hey i hope you are ok how are you feeling today? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Thanks, journogirl. I'm still trying to recover from the pain like ulcer eating at me... but I know she's not worth loosing sleep over. Haven't been able to sleep, only had two hours of sleep and not tired. Guess I'm just way too tense and anxious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journogirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 im not sleeping at the moment either! the bed has become my enemy...if i do drop off i wake up in cold sweats around 6-7 times a night i hate those damn early hours when your mind is racing and you feel like no one else is awake but you. have you been keeping really busy etc? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Exactly! I know how that feels! I sometimes dread going to the bedroom because the bed really does seem like the enemy. So I stay out in the living room most of the time. Been keeping my mind busy, but it dips to thoughts of my ex, and when that happens it's sometimes hard to brush off. Yes, mornings are tough too, well it used to be, now I just get up and do my cardio... Hope you feel better soon, sending you prayers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Hi Kahdeksan I am so soory for the pain you are feeling right now. I know this must be a very difficult time for you. Breakups are always rotten and it is even more rotten if you find that your ex has moved on and is with someone else. The only advice I can give you is to use this information to tell yourself this is definitely a done deal and there is no going back. You will recover from this - back to your good old chirpy self, but you will have to give it a bit more time. But carry on posting on here because your advice is always very kind and soothing. Keep strong my friend. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted August 13, 2008 Author Share Posted August 13, 2008 Hi Kahdeksan I am so soory for the pain you are feeling right now. I know this must be a very difficult time for you. Breakups are always rotten and it is even more rotten if you find that your ex has moved on and is with someone else. The only advice I can give you is to use this information to tell yourself this is definitely a done deal and there is no going back. You will recover from this - back to your good old chirpy self, but you will have to give it a bit more time. But carry on posting on here because your advice is always very kind and soothing. Keep strong my friend. Mark Hey, thank you so much, Mark. For your kind words and support, it means a lot, and you're absolutely right! This is a done deal, and I should take it as a sign to move on. I'm going to try and sleep now, hopefully I can... It's night time where I'm at. Goodnight all~! And thank you each and all, for your kindness and support in advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Night night fella - I hope you get some peace. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journogirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 good night-sleep easy! hi mark how are you today- did you see my list i made in the healing section- thought it may help me! xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Hi hun! I saw your list and I have been reading all your other posts too - busy girl! You should be very proud of yourself because you are helping yourself to climb out of this pit - good for you. That doesn't mean you won't have some down days - this stuff is not linear. I don't want to discourage you - just forewarn you. But the fact is that you ARE going in the right direction and if any bad days come along you will be better equipped to deal with them. Take it easy and stay strong - you are an inspiration to anyone else going through this stuff - RESPECT. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journogirl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 today is a bit of a bad day feel kind of numb still and wondering where he is what hes doing, all that stuff thinking about our last words etc trying to keep busy-going away next week with my mum and grandparents so i hope that will do the trick thanks for being there xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Aw hun - sending some hugs to you. It is only natural that you have those lingering thoughts, but print that list off and remind yourself how poorly you were treated. You deserve 100 times better. That is good that you are going away - a change of scenery will do you good. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Well, just think of this as your closure and now things can only go up from here. She is now making someone else's life a living hell and at least it is no longer you. You have your life back now...free to be Mr. Chirpy. Think of this as a big weight off your shoulders that you can now live your life without her garbage dragging you down. Take care of yourself and make sure you get some sleep. Don't ruin your health over her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuhl282000 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 Hey Bro I'm with ya I feel your pain ..........this is the sort of stuff that happens when you need answers .........sometimes you get them I've been on a two month plus bummer myself ........the energy is all gone now...and sometimes I really don't feel like going on without her ....but I do Here are a few crying songs for you .......they will help you heal. I rode a bike to the park just yesterday and just sat there for over 2 hours crying .......you gotta get those tears out man ......... You're in my prayers Bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butterflygrl Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 ((((hugs)))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yankeefan74 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 She is now making someone else's life a living hell and at least it is no longer you. This is a great point that will eventually provide you with some comfort, Kahdeksan. Not now, but down the road. I've known my ex was with someone else for a month now (we broke up on July 1st)...at first, it tore me apart. I couldn't understand why she was still kissing me, contacting me, etc, and seeing someone new. But even if she wasn't doing all that, i never understood how someone could move on so fast. But some deep thinking, observations of her behavior, and the insights of some people on this board - i realized that her insecurities run so deep that i would have spent the rest of my life walking on egg shells...always wondering what new completely harmless comment or discussion would turn into an argument about nothing. it doesn't feel great now, but eventually you will find some comfort in the fact that the new person is having to deal with her bad side, not just the good things. Hope you find some peace with this soon, and get some rest my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnathan Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 kahdeksan I echo what everyone has said in this thread. And know that I'm right there with ya, I'm going through it right now too. Still trying to get day 1 of NC under my belt. Again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreams123 Posted August 13, 2008 Share Posted August 13, 2008 my heart goes out to u. i hope u will be able to smile again someday, when your ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted August 14, 2008 Author Share Posted August 14, 2008 Thank you so much everyone!! For the many a great advice and wisdom, as well as the warm support! They have all been taken to heart! Lots of love to youse all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Hi Kahdeksan Just checking in with you fella and sending love straight back at ya! Hope you are ok. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoTung Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Hiya I know exactly how u feel - i felt EXACTLY the same way I couldn;t describe it but yes like an ulcer eating thru me - but the ulcer will heal and one day we will become well again I am like u - i have been wanting to cry but can;t - i am not wasting my tears anymore. We can do this - we will meet someone who truly loves us We used to argue all the time because we were both strong minded and didn;t let the other walk over us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfjon Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 Hey, It's hard, but also bound to happen..... It almost made it easier for me to let go when I found out she had another. I didn't want her back anymore. yes, i still missed her dearly but after I knew she'd been with someone else I wanted her as badly as I wanted a vienna-sausage salad sandwhich on moldy bread..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yankeefan74 Posted August 14, 2008 Share Posted August 14, 2008 A vienna-sausage salad sandwhich on moldy bread..... mmm, that's good eatin'. lol. kidding, kidding... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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