babysunshine Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 I know 99.9% of all you enotaloners will cringe at my post but I need some support and advice. My boyfriend of four years and I broke up back in February (He was the dumper) and when he did, I ended up buying a last minute ticket to fly out to see him and prevent it from truly happening. (I know, I know,) Anyways, I bought the ticket and he refused to let me fly out. Obviously I was acting a lil'crazy and ultimately I had to call the airlines and cancel the flight. Anyways, these past six months have been a rollercoaster of LC, NC(40 days the longest), and every-day contact. He dated someone, I dated someone. He broke up with his someone, My someone left the country. Last week we were talking about all the events and how crazy that time of our lives was and I mentioned I still had the voucher for the flight. He said I was welcome to come out and that he would pay for everything while I was there.. Now. He has made it clear a million times he will always love me but that there is no going back. I'm actually ok with that now and am looking forward to new things about my life which are coming my way. BUT... I have spent three months in San Diego going to the beach, working out, not drinking, eating healthy, hanging out with friends and landed a great summer internship which made me super happy. The last time he saw me, I was twenty pounds heavier,bloated from drinking and late nights, and super depressed. My intention is purelyto go out there have a great time and yeah, maybe show off a little bit =) My question is: Has anyone had a meeting with an ex like this before? Any advice, suggestions? Don't worry no ex-sex (We both do not want to) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Actually, I don't cringe at your post. I do commend you for going the extra effort to show your ex that you have improved. If I was in your shoes, I probably would do the same. I've been known to do outlandish things like that for someone I love. Just one question, how will you feel if you see your ex, hang out with him, and he sees all the improvements you have made, and he still doesn't want to get back together with you? Will it unravel all the improvements, or will you still be the new you? I've tried to change for an ex, make my life more interesting, do more hobbies, exercise, change the way I look, dress, etc. so as to pique my ex's curiosity. Sometimes it doesn't work, and it does hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysunshine Posted August 12, 2008 Author Share Posted August 12, 2008 Renaissance, thanks for responding! The good thing is I already know he does not want to get back together. He's made it very clear that the "loving feeling" is gone and that he doesn't want a serious relationship. I'm mainly going out there to have a good time because we always do when we're together (we were long distance for the last part of our relationship hence the fighting/breaking up) and to show him my improvements. But, since I already know getting back together is not an option I am emotionally prepared. What Im worried about mostly is just seeing the life he made out there for himself without me and having so good of a time that when I leave I might be heartbroken all over again..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greensleeves Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 While it's very tempting to want to show off to your ex, if, as you said, there's any chance that you migt be heartbroken again, I'd use that voucher for a trip somewhere else. It sounds like you've come a very long way since the two of you broke up, it would be a shame if you had to take a few steps back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nearwater Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 Go. Who knows what will happen. he is receptive to seeing you, go. If he was not into it, said don't come ect. that would be different. i wish I had that opportunity. I lost 10 pounds, been lifting, riding, new haircut ect. I look great. If I had your chance I would go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 My advice is to go if your heart so desires. Because if you didn't, you'd be constantly regretting that decision that you didn't. Go, but be prepared for the worse in case things turn out ugly, like him getting on with his life and you being left all alone. Or his now ex girl coming back and all that stuff... I'm in your situation, and although I want to go and see my ex, I know she'll be scared stiff if I was to turn up... she's a coward and hates confrontations, she got her dad to dump me over the phone, so in my case it'd be a no-no. If the object of your visit is to show off to him then I'm sure he'll be mulling over what once was, and with his new, but now ex girl, things could get even more complicated between the two of you. I do hope things turn out the way you REALLY want them to though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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