Double J Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Every time she's in the mood and tries turning me on, I cave. When it's the other way around, I'm usually unsuccessful. My girlfriend's mood runs the show. I tried getting her in the mood today but it didn't work. I'm not sure if this is just indicative of a greater problem: our sex drives may not be in sync with each other. We usually do it about once a week, and when we do, she tends to initiate everything. I've become reluctant to breaking the ice and starting the foreplay because it seems like she always beats me to the punch when she's really in the mood. Otherwise, I'm left unsatisfied. Do you think it's unfair on her part? Have any of you guys gone through this with your partners? What do you think I should do? Thanks in advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 The only way that this is going to change if when you initiate you arent doing exactly what gets her in the mood. When it comes down to it your gf is being selfish and if you keep letting this happen then you are sanctioning her behavior and she thinks that it is acceptable for her to do this. Odds are that if you bring this up then this is going to be a fight. You need to ask yourself how big of an issue is this for you? In other words is it a deal breaker or is it something that you can live with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Every time she's in the mood and tries turning me on, I cave. When it's the other way around, I'm usually unsuccessful. My girlfriend's mood runs the show. I tried getting her in the mood today but it didn't work. I'm not sure if this is just indicative of a greater problem: our sex drives may not be in sync with each other. We usually do it about once a week, and when we do, she tends to initiate everything. I've become reluctant to breaking the ice and starting the foreplay because it seems like she always beats me to the punch when she's really in the mood. Otherwise, I'm left unsatisfied. Do you think it's unfair on her part? Have any of you guys gone through this with your partners? What do you think I should do? Thanks in advance. I wish i could relate. I am easily swayed into sex even if i have a killer headache. Yea, i guess it depends on how much the other person likes sex. If they don't like it a lot then them being in the mood is pretty much par for the course. Can't likely get around it much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Not much you can do about it unless you talk with her. You should tell her that you aren't satisfied with the amount of sex you are having. Bring up specifically how you feel that she holds all the cards in this department. Dont say "never" "always" or blame her. Just tell her what you're feeling and why it saddens you. Tell her that you do like that she initiates everyone but feel that if you try, she turns you down. Which has basically turned you off from trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amure Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 dont worry man, it has nothing to do with how you turn her on ect... i have a similar problem. its just what gets them off, being in control of when it happens/if it happens ect.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Not much you can do about it unless you talk with her. You should tell her that you aren't satisfied with the amount of sex you are having. Bring up specifically how you feel that she holds all the cards in this department. Dont say "never" "always" or blame her. Just tell her what you're feeling and why it saddens you. Tell her that you do like that she initiates everyone but feel that if you try, she turns you down. Which has basically turned you off from trying. I agree. YOu need to have some open convo about this. She has to know how this is affecting your life in a negative manner. Once she knows if she does nothing than you will realize she doesn't place a very high value on it at all. Very sad when one person in a couple, whether its the man or woman, doesn't think that sex is very important in a relationship. Sad to say that some women use sex as a weapon and its a power play. I've known women like this. I don't know if this describes your wife or not. If so, i feel for you. I couldn't deal with a woman like that if i were a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 I agree. YOu need to have some open convo about this. She has to know how this is affecting your life in a negative manner. Once she knows if she does nothing than you will realize she doesn't place a very high value on it at all. Very sad when one person in a couple, whether its the man or woman, doesn't think that sex is very important in a relationship. just look at a thread that came in after yours. A woman is going with only having sex for 10 times a year. Her husband just doesn't want it. Confront this problem now or you'll be in a difficult situation later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wtm78 Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 do something romantic... women needs to be cherish.. show that you cherish her.. she will open up to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 If someone is not in the mood, let it go. If they are never in the mood, let them go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 If someone is not in the mood, let it go. If they are never in the mood, let them go. Succinct and to the point and appropos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CcCaleee Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 i can relate to your girlfriend in a way.. i wouldnt say its necessarily selfish of her either.. my bf is always up for doing things.. as for me, my sex drive isnt as big. my mood does depend on it sometimes, its not always me initiating it, because ive gotten better.. but i did at one point turn it down if i didnt want it.. usually when i was not in a good mood, or if we were in a place i didnt feel comfortable.. it just all depends.. so basically, just mention it to her, to be more open and to realize you want it even if she doesnt always.. you gotta compromise.. but help her into the mood as well, rub her back and tickle her a little and just get her to relax.. you want her to be comfortable doing it too.. dont force it if she really doesnt want to.. but its true, it cant always be on her dime, unless youre okay with that youre a trooper if you are, and i always tell my bf that.. i guess its easier when im aware im like that.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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