Kahdeksan Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 There's a heavy weight attached to my heart, and it's weighing me down in this moment of loneliness, this night. I miss my ex terribly. I can't help but think I've been overly selfish for feeling this way when there are children starving in the world... I miss her presense, I miss her infectious laughter, I miss being intimate with her, I miss teasing her, I miss leaving notes for her, I miss cooking for her, I miss our talks, I miss our cute talk, I miss our time together, I miss her terribly... I know I have to get over this... and I know it get easier... but why haven't I cried yet, when she broke it off with me? I am grieving but why haven't I cried, and yet I cry when I read some of the posts in here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMAbadman Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Hang tough buddy. It get better with time. You'll see. Stay strong and focus on yourself one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 Thanks man! I'm now just a little concerned that I have not cried... I hope I'm normal, heh. Didn't realize this before... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yankeefan74 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I'm at the same stage. What's worse is that I work with me ex...and if the office is just quiet enough, i can actually hear her on the phone with her rebound guy. lol. What fun. Anyway, i have cried. Several times. Hang in there. everyone experiences things differently. As long as you don't stifle or shut out your feelings, i don't think you have to worry that you haven't cried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 I'm at the same stage. What's worse is that I work with me ex...and if the office is just quiet enough, i can actually hear her on the phone with her rebound guy. lol. What fun. Anyway, i have cried. Several times. Hang in there. everyone experiences things differently. As long as you don't stifle or shut out your feelings, i don't think you have to worry that you haven't cried. That must be so hard for you, to hear her with her rebound louse... I'm sorry to hear you have to be in such a place at such a time... Yeah, I haven't shut out my feelings, in fact I'm constantly telling myself that it'll get easier each day, and use every piece of advice I get from the folks here. So thank you, all the same, buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchecterGuy Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I have not really cried either. It is very weird. But I know the pain. Waking up is extremely difficult for me. I have no desire to get out of bed and I usually wake up with a tightness in my chest and my heart beating like crazy. Not fun. Meds here I come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yankeefan74 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 That must be so hard for you, to hear her with her rebound louse... I'm sorry to hear you have to be in such a place at such a time... Yeah, I haven't shut out my feelings, in fact I'm constantly telling myself that it'll get easier each day, and use every piece of advice I get from the folks here. So thank you, all the same, buddy. No problem, and yes, it will get easier. All i can say is that if you do feel like crying, then allow yourself to do it and don't beat yourself up about it. It does help. No reason to judge yourself harshly for crying or not crying... As for me, i can't completely eliminate contact because i do work in the same office as my ex. But I try not to give her any preferential treatment...i don't tell her she looks good, or do anything remotely "boyfriend"-ish. I'm cordial...she has two kids that i am, or was, extremely close too, and i miss them like crazy. So i can always pivot any conversation to "so how are the kids?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuhl282000 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I just sent you a private email ....listen to that song I sent you and turn up your speakers.....and I promise you will cry, it will make you feel better.......I have the same heavy stone on my chest you have....and it hurts......see you at the pub around 8 ...lol You're in my prayers tonight Kuhl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Everyone grieves in their own way..and sometimes it might take a stupid, minor aggravating incident happening during the course of the day which will cause you to unleash the tears that are bottled up. Hang in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yankeefan74 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 yeah, i didn't cry until i was actually watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Michelle Branch was on there singing "Goodbye to You.." Just wrecked me. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IMAbadman Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I haven't cried yet. I'm too bullheaded. Besides I think it's overrated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchecterGuy Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Surprisingly one song that got to me was Rose of Sharyn by Killswitch Engage. Actually the video did it. The song is about a loved one dying, but I think it applied to me since I feel like I am slipping away from the people I love and its like the song is about me. Anyway the part that got me going was at the end of the video when words that were carved in dead trees started bleeding. It really put an emphasis on the feelings I had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahdeksan Posted July 31, 2008 Author Share Posted July 31, 2008 No problem, and yes, it will get easier. All i can say is that if you do feel like crying, then allow yourself to do it and don't beat yourself up about it. It does help. No reason to judge yourself harshly for crying or not crying... As for me, i can't completely eliminate contact because i do work in the same office as my ex. But I try not to give her any preferential treatment...i don't tell her she looks good, or do anything remotely "boyfriend"-ish. I'm cordial...she has two kids that i am, or was, extremely close too, and i miss them like crazy. So i can always pivot any conversation to "so how are the kids?" Sigh, I also miss her family members, it's strange and somehow profound but surreal to be attached to them in this way and not just your ex. I just sent you a private email ....listen to that song I sent you and turn up your speakers.....and I promise you will cry, it will make you feel better.......I have the same heavy stone on my chest you have....and it hurts......see you at the pub around 8 ...lol You're in my prayers tonight Kuhl Heh, I'd take you up on the offer, I could do with company, unfortunately I'm miles and an ocean away... Everyone grieves in their own way..and sometimes it might take a stupid, minor aggravating incident happening during the course of the day which will cause you to unleash the tears that are bottled up. Hang in there. I see what you mean, and thank you, as always, you've made a difference in how I should see myself. I value your advice very much. yeah, i didn't cry until i was actually watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Michelle Branch was on there singing "Goodbye to You.." Just wrecked me. lol That's why I'm deliberately trying to avoid the songs that we loved and played when we were engaged in our intimate moments. Songs evoke those past residual memories... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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