A few poems i wrote, opinions?

[LisS1001]

Speeding on by without a care in the world

You look out shyly as the fireflies twirl

Only one way in, one way out

But still your mind is filled with doubt

Scenes flash before you but there's no time to look

As you flip through the pages of your romance book

People surround you but you couldn't feel more alone

Each on their own journeys with their own way to go

The colours race past you, beautiful as can be

But you have no more time left to see

Far away from home you make your way

Down this straight path with nothing to say

Cursing the man-men and beating the damned

Feeling the skin of your lost lovers hand

The rocks build up slowly as we lay our scene

A cursed hand wraps around your echoing dreams

But wildflowers bloom in this sea of despair

They make their way home without a worry or care

You know of nothing to come or what will come after

Your cries drowned out by a small child's laughter

 

----------------

 

The rainbows are slowly fading black

I've wasted all the time I can't get back

You say it's not too late, so save this

The blue skies are quickly fading gray

I have no more words left to say

You say you want me, so take me

And as the rain is pouring down

My feet are slipping on this ground

You say you know me, so tell me

Why is the sun bleeding into the air?

Why does it seem like you care?

You say it's not real, so prove it

So here we go for the 100th time

Searching for the words that just won't rhyme

You say you can't leave me, so love me

 

------------------

 

Always put your best foot first

Sustain your hunger

Quench your thirst

Praise God you're alive, for it is His will

Treat smiles like drugs

And hugs like pills

Savor the moments you want to last

Embrace who you are

Don't cling to the past

Songs don't have to be deep for people to sing

And love isn't measured by the size of the ring

When it's cold, wear a jacket

When it's hot, show some skin

Just think of this wonderful world we are in

It may not be perfect

There's war and there's hate

So when it comes to love, why do we wait?

If you love her then tell her

Life's all about risk

Eventually we all fall for this world's silly tricks

Smile in good times

Cry in the bad

Just remember the wonderful journey you've had

[kaoticbaby]

are you really only fifteen?

seriously, i love them. i love the way you describe things in them. especially "as the fireflies twirl."

[Jeen]

Always put your best foot first

Sustain your hunger

Quench your thirst

Praise God you're alive, for it is His will

Treat smiles like drugs

And hugs like pills

Savor the moments you want to last

Embrace who you are

Don't cling to the past

Songs don't have to be deep for people to sing

And love isn't measured by the size of the ring

When it's cold, wear a jacket

When it's hot, show some skin

Just think of this wonderful world we are in

It may not be perfect

There's war and there's hate

So when it comes to love, why do we wait?

If you love her then tell her

Life's all about risk

Eventually we all fall for this world's silly tricks

Smile in good times

Cry in the bad

Just remember the wonderful journey you've had

 

 

 

I really love this one.

 

Thanks

[LisS1001]

thanks guys

and yes, i'm 15 lol

[agburns84]

Hi,

 

Just wanted to say how beautiful and soul stirring your work is, you certainly have a way with words and a wonderful talent! How long have you been writing for? Keep them coming! Loved the third one in particular, amazing!