renaissancewoman101 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 I'm scared. Fearful, wanting to cry.worried. nervous. God, please quell my fears. Don't let my fears come true. please don't. it has never been like this. why? what have I done now? panic arises. fears abound what have I done? god please, don't abandon me now. please give me comfort, peace, solace. heart aflutter. panic abounds. tears fall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 are you on any medication? maybe you could use an anti-anxiety med, or maybe this is a side effect of a current medication? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 I've changed my medications a bit about a week ago. Maybe this is a side effect. I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 yes, it possibly is a real side effect. some meds don't work quite right. what are you panicking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 i get panicky if I feel I offended people, stuff like that. that leads to worry that people hate me, and won't talk to me, vicious cycle. i tend to look at my actions with a microscope when things go wrong. self-blame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeen Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Hi Ren You might like to try the following. • Close your eyes and imagine your mind is focused on something peaceful. • Say ‘peace, calm, relax’ slowly to yourself. • Imagine a place that you find relaxing. See or feel the shapes, colours, smells, sounds, and temperature in your mind’s eye. • You might like to listen to some music that helps you relax mentally and physically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 I can feel like that from time to time and I tell myself to "STOP!" People will live if you discomfit them from time to time, but you will harm yourself if you keep on like this. You should show the same sensitivity to yourself as you do to others. Everyone offends someone once in awhile and the world keeps turning, doesn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Have you seen a therapist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 No, I haven't seen a therapist. Been trying to take care of things on my own, by getting out there, doing things, getting involved in extracurriculars. I am extra-sensitive to people and whether I offend them or not. Mainly because I like keeping people in my life. I fear being abandoned so much, that I constantly hyperanalyze how I deal with people and weather my actions offended them or not. I'm like that at work too. I just tried to give one of my piggies a hug and accidentally dropped her on her back She was wriggling all over the place and wriggled out of my hand. I checked her over to make sure she is ok. She seems ok. I hope so. The piggies help calm me down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 You've been through this all before and are not getting any better. You need professional help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiden Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 It saddens me to learn that you're still suffering with this stuff, ren. I agree that it may be time to seek a professional opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 I panic a lot because I am afraid. Afraid of losing things that mean a lot to me. It didn't help that T was being a jerk with me on Thurs about some of his personal issues. I take things to heart too much. I do do things to improve my life, like getting involved with SCA and also taking that pottery class, which I will continue after July 4th weekend. Those things bring me some joy. People bring me joy too. I want to improve my life on my own. It is better that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 It sounds like you tolerate mistreatment from T very often. Do you have a plan to distance yourself from that relationship - it sure sounds like the negatives outweigh the positives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Why is it 'better' to improve your life on your own? I think we all need help sometimes. I think that while ultimately you are doing the work, having someone to guide you can't hurt. At this point, why not? Maybe in the case of T the problem isn't that you take things too much to heart. Maybe the problem is that he is abusive and unkind, often. Why turn that into a flaw that YOU have, as opposed to a flaw that he has? Your only mistake is continuing to allow him to abuse you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Its pretty easy to get rid of a huge source of your problems, ditch T. He's an emotional blackhole. What does he do for you? He gives you attention, but its not good attention, its negative attention, but you are so desperate for any form of attention that you take it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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