Anon333 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 Sunshine, it has gotten in the way of a few of my relationships in the past. Like when he sent me flowers, or sent me texts. He would normally hang low when I dated someone else though, and let it be up to me if I wanted to call. Most of the relationships with the other people were crappy anyway and we were breaking up and getting back together all the time...So I guess I have a history of unhealthy relationships... Jettison, you have great insight. Thank you for your words. I think maybe the both of us are both emotionally immature. He is moreso than me I think. His life is surrounded by his work, and thoughts of me. He is also about 13 years older than me, so he should be further along on his emotional maturity than me, but not so. He sleeps with women he meets in bars, and always seems to go on the worst dates with women, so he tells me. Allie, I have tried to tell him our relationship is unhealthy and maybe we should try to cut ties. He convinces me otherwise, which makes it more difficult for me, since I want to be his friend too... Link to comment
Sunshine311 Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 But...what do you think is in HIS best interest? To pine away over you? To watch you date other men? To get married? Someone has to draw a line in the sand here, and I guarantee you it won't be him. Sometimes, doing the RIGHT thing is NOT always the EASY thing. If you really love him as a friend, do the right thing for HIM. And tell him the honest reason why you are doing it. No, not at all. Usually the right thing is the hardest. Link to comment
jettison Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 I feel like you're sipping the Koolaid here. Why does this all have to be so dramatic? Obviously, he's being waaay over the top in his fawning and his drama. Why do you have to play the same game? You don't. Put him in his place. Get crass with him. Make your demand of the friendship. Isn't he worth it to you? If he's really your friend, and not just some guy who has been on a 7 year quest to sniff your underwear, then he'll understand. Say, "Listen... Enough! No more complimenting me. No more fawning over me. No more saying that just the sound of my voice makes your life complete. Enough. I'm not all that. I'm just some woman who sucks at relationships who is trying to get by, just like everyone else. And Mister, I don't want to F/ you. I don't, period. I'm not ever going to want to screw you. It's not going to happen. And when you talk romantically with me, sure it strokes me ego, but what it doesn't do is make me want to get naked with you. You're not scoring any points when you do that. Sure, you have a nice voice too, but it doesn't haunt me, and it doesn't keep me up at night. We're friends, not lovers. There's a difference. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? I can't understand it. What I am to you is your friend. Want to know what that means? I'll tell you. When you've had a bad day at work, you can call me, and I'll listen to you gripe. If you're going out to dinner then occasionally you can call me, and I'll join you. During the day, when you're bored, you can send me little email links or just tell me what random thing is on your mine. You can do all this because, again, I'm your friend. Your friendship means something to me. I appreciate it. I don't want to give it up." This whole giving up the friendship thing in order to spare his emotions and his feelings is utter and complete nonsense. How absolutely patronizing that would be toward him. Respect him enough not to do that to him. You are not his keeper. You are not his guardian angel. You are not responsible for this grown man's feelings. This isn't Schindler's List where Steven Spielberg is trying to turn your simple friendship into some kind of cry-a-thon tear jerker where everyone must weep and then sigh themselves into oblivion. Be an adult. Take command. Ask for what you want. Demand what you want. And if you give him this friendship and he is the one that walks away? Then you know, beyond any doubt, that he was never your friend. Then you know. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 Jettison, This is exactly how I wanted things to be. I make it clear I am not interested. I make it clear I dont want to hear anymore compliments or fawning over me. I make it clear what type of friendship I want and two adults can find a happy medium in a friendship. And it has been this way for the most part. And that is why the friendship has lasted this long I think. But there are always breaking points. Little holes throughout our friendship, of him getting jealous, or me hurting his feelings....It is a friendship we both have to work on, and I suppose I have been careless at times with his feelings, and I think him telling me how much he loves me is careless in its own way. Because I dont want to hear it. It is a stroke to the ego, but it also holds too much weight for this friendship. So what you write is what we have been working on, only I recently have been questioning if this was the right way to go, when he suddenly gets jealous or mad and cant hold it in. Link to comment
jettison Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Ok, well again, I'm thinking "crass" here. That's the buzzword. Explicit. Crass. Point-on. Perhaps you've tried this in degrees, but I don't think that you've layed it on thick enough. Pick up guys in a bar? Keep doing it. Being insensitive? Keep being insensitive. At this point, it's not your duty to spare his feelings. Talk about other guys. Talk about how how you think they are. Go out of your way not to spare his feelings. Make everything abundantly clear to him, and be very consistent about it. No sheltering. He's not consistent, but you can be. Got a hot date coming up? Make sure that he's the first person to hear all the gory details. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 That sounds like quite a strategy...hmmm. I think I did that when I was in living in the same city. I dated other guys, went home with other guys. Made it quite clear I wasnt interested in him, and said it. He actually suffered through it and stayed my friend, although he did burst a few times and show his jealousy. We stayed friends through all that. At this point it just seems cruel to make a point of doing it. I dont know. There is part of me that gets angry that I have to hold my tongue around him and be careful about talking to guys at the bars around him. If he is my friend I should have the freedom to do that. But then their is the other part that says, if he is my friend and I know he has feelings for me, it would be mean to hurt him....And he still brings up times when I did hurt him. How all he asks of me is that I think of his feelings. And now I feell like a lousy selfish friend for hurting him. ugh...I guess it is all really stupid. But I do identify with what you are saying jettison. We are both adults and the type of friendship we have needs to be established, otherwise if one of us doesnt like it, we can leave it... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Oh...but what is OP? OP stands for "Original Post" Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 OP stands for "Original Post" Ohhhh, ok... gotcha...thanks. Link to comment
jettison Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 For whowever rep'd me in this thread, thanks. You put me over a milestone. To stay on topic, I really don't think that the OP should ditch the "friend" until he's been fully vetted. I mean, fully. It should be layed on quite thick, often, and with no mercy. I would even do things like calling him up and saying "I want to give you a 'friend speech' now". And tomorrow, I'm going to give you one too. And maybe next week, just for gits and shiggles, I'm going to give you another friend speech. Eventually, you won't be able to take it. You'll either really just start to be my friend, and only my friend, or you'll dump my ass. At this point, I'm good with either." Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 I agree that there are no room for shades of grey here. You HAVE to make it CRYSTAL CLEAR TO HIM! Link to comment
Anon333 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 okay..I have made it clear to him...But then maybe there were times when he forgot...For now on (if we remain friends) I will in no way let even the slightest non-friend compliment go. I will tear it down and make it clear each time there is even an inkling of romance in what he says, that I am JUST his friend and have no intention to ever EVER be with him...That doesnt seem kind of cruel? I guess the other alternative is just leaving the friendship behind? I guess I will have to have one last conversation with him and feel out where things lie between us, and if this might be a good aproach. Tell him that I can ONLY be his friend if he can hold his tongue and be a real friend, not someone who is in love with me. I know he will say how hard he tries but he cant help it sometimes and that he will always love me...blah blah blah..... Link to comment
grymoire Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Hi Anon333, As a guy that has been in this situation I like to tell you my story. Instead of giving you advice and tell what you have to do I want to tell my story. In that way you can make your own judgments and come to your own conclusions. I also liked my female friend but right from the time we met I hit on her and made sure what I felt. She understood and said that we both can only be friends. This was in the first 2 months of us meeting. I felt very hurt but admired her honesty. Now note this point very carefully -> After being rejected I knew that the friendship will not work and I told her that. I said I cannot continue to be friends with her because it simply will not work. But she begged and pleaded me to stay. She was almost at the point of tears and I felt very bad. I then said "give me some time and i'll get back to you as a friend".. she was heart-broken but agreed. But the very next day she came running to me... we went back and forth for 1 week and I finally gave up and agreed to continue as friends. It did surprise me because we knew each other for only 2 months... Guess what happened now... Her behavior changed dramatically. She always wanted to see me, spend time with me, frequently said that she misses me, got upset when i said i can't meet her, insisted to meet if i said no, started telling "i love you", got upset whenever i told her that i went to a movie or concert with some one else...... It almost looked like she had feelings for me but yet her words were "i like you only as a friend". She keeps dating other guys but for the past 3 yrs she has not had a successful relationship... she is still single now. Our friendship is going on smoothly but we do have our fights every now and then. I have clearly told her not to talk about her dating life or boyfriends and she always follows that. Whenever I say that I can't meet her for say a party or some other thing she gets very very upset. Our fights typically begin from that point. I have tried to walk away from this friendship many times but she just doesn't want me to go. She gets very very sad and heart broken and in the end I just agree to stay. She says she likes me only as a friend but I can easily see how she treats her other friends and me. She was able to let go of another friend that she knew for 6 years... Just like your friend that guy had a crush on her for almost 6 years... She used to call him as her best friend but now she has stopped talking to him... But for some reason she is not able to let go of me... She once stopped talking to me for 2 weeks but then came back because she "felt a void as we are not speaking".... I don't know what is in her mind and I will probably never know..... The reason I told you this story is to let you know the pain that is involved in these type of relationships... Just look at the confusion and anguish that is being caused.. In my opinion this is the worst kind of relationship you can possibly have.... It is very very unfair... It is neither a friendship nor a romantic relationship... its in a meta-state.... Bottom line => Cut the cord and let go of your "friend". You may not want to accept this but guaranteed you are feeding on the attention he gives you. It is very subtle but it is there. You can't blame yourself either because you have made it clear to him that you are not interested. But yet he clings on to you... You got to be the bigger person here and let him go. Yes its going to hurt a lot but that's the fix really.... Its akin to fixing a broken bone.. you can't keep walking with a broken bone... but fixing it can also be painful... get my drift? -G Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 He didn't "forget" my dear...he is a man in love who is hanging on to the slightest SHED of hope...... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Excellent......sorry for you pain. Link to comment
KaylaJoy Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 For whowever rep'd me in this thread, thanks. You put me over a milestone. That was me, Jettison....you posted some great thoughts earlier in this thread, I loved this: "It's the love wolf in the manipulator's clothing." Ha! What a great line, and so true!! Link to comment
grymoire Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 This is a great post Jettison. Kudos for such good advice. Your other post about being crass and direct to the guy is good too. But I do want to point out some thing. Generally in threads like these you can always see that ONLY the guy gets bashed up... Agreed that he is doing some thing very wrong... but if you look at the scenario objectively the girl is equally to be blamed! The female KNOWS what the guy is up to... and yet she won't do the right thing of cutting him off. Why? Because she is SELFISH. Period. All the talk about how she doesn't want to lose him as a friend is taken well in the forums... but nobody seems to think that if the girl finds it hard to lose a friendship imagine how difficult it would be for the guy to lose the girl when there are more than friendship feelings involved. People are only interested in insulting the guy but the girl is all gold.... you say that he is a wolf and a manipulator... but what about the girl in question? In my opinion she is just the same. why? Because she KNOWS what's going on... she is not an innocent little lamb here. What type of a friend is she when she knows that her friend wants more and hurts because he is not getting it? She is not a real friend either. A real friend would have the courage to make the sacrifice for the sake of his emotional health. This man has been after this woman for 7 years. That's a LONG time. Do you really think if the OP tells him some words he is gonna agree to the friendship on her terms? I say NO. The only solution to this drama is for the OP to take responsibility and cut ties with this person for his own mental and emotional health. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 Well, thanks for calling me selfish.. I have owned up to my part in this. But he is a grown man as well, and is the one that wants to continue this relationship knowing full well what it entails. Even when I point out that I feel I might be hurting him by just being his friend. He flat out denies it.....All relationships, friendships and partner relationships are based on reciprocity. I think we are both getting something from the friendship that we dont want to let go, whether it is healthy or unhealthy. I dont think one person is wrong and one person is right. I do believe in taking responsibility for yourself though. And if you are in a relationship that is hurting you more than helping you, it is your responsibility to yourself to end it. You dont agree? So you think that his feelings of love make in inable to do anything for himself and it is like some kind of poisin or drug he is hooked on and needs my help to cut him off from it? And I am selfish to have kept him on it for so long? Is this it? Link to comment
jettison Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Unfortunately, I couldn't agree with this post any less. So, here are a few more thoughts... But I do want to point out some thing. Generally in threads like these you can always see that ONLY the guy gets bashed up... Agreed that he is doing some thing very wrong... but if you look at the scenario objectively the girl is equally to be blamed! That's just patently untrue. You hear people bashing the woman all the time on ENA. It happens quite often. For me, I just call it like I see it. For example, I sort of bashed a woman yesterday for complaining that she was dating a jerk. I take everyone to task when they give me reason. This girl is "equally to blame?" Not even close in this particular case. The female KNOWS what the guy is up to... and yet she won't do the right thing of cutting him off. Why is it her job to cut him off? Why are his feelings her responsibility simply because she has them? This makes no sense. She's under zero obligation to act. He's the hunter while she's the hunter. Is it the dear's job not to graze any longer in the field because it knows the hunter is looking for a kill? The dear can choose either/or. In this case, she can take the risk, attempt to be his friend, or not take it and run. Why? Because she is SELFISH. Period. All the talk about how she doesn't want to lose him as a friend is taken well in the forums... but nobody seems to think that if the girl finds it hard to lose a friendship imagine how difficult it would be for the guy to lose the girl when there are more than friendship feelings involved. Poor, poor man. He DESERVES to get his blowjobs and his handjobs. I mean, think of his feelings!!!! And stupid, selfish woman.... always craving that "friendship" nonsense. How dare she!!! No, she is under no burden here. He lied to her when he said that he wanted to be her friend. He wanted no such thing. He wanted to "act friendly" toward her in an attempt to win her over and get in her pants. That's deceitful? Her? She wasn't deceitful in the least. She said exactly what she wanted. "I want to be your friend. I don't want to bang you. Take it or leave it." She has to MAKE him stop talking to her? Please. He's a grown man (supposedly). That's his free will. People are only interested in insulting the guy but the girl is all gold.... you say that he is a wolf and a manipulator... but what about the girl in question? In my opinion she is just the same. Again, not the same at all. She's honest about her feelings and honest about her intentions. Him? He's anything but honest. It's completely fake. why? Because she KNOWS what's going on... she is not an innocent little lamb here. What type of a friend is she when she knows that her friend wants more and hurts because he is not getting it? She is not a real friend either. A real "friend" would give her friend a blowjob to appease him? I'm thinking no. I don't know what kind of friends you keep, but not of my friends are about to give me a handjob because my feelings have been hurt. Of course she knows what's going on. When did she claim that she didn't know? She knows. At the same time, the guy is going out of his way to convince her that he's on the up and up. "All I care about is your happiness." Nonsense!!! What he cares about is being "good" enough toward her so that she realizes that he's just too good to pass up as a boyfriend. It's a tactic. It's not friendship. It's truly not her happiness that he really cares about. If he really wanted to make her happy, and this was legit, he wouldn't hit on her. She's made it quite clear that this behavior upsets her, and even makes her contemplate ending the friendship. And yet still he forges on. Must.... own.... woman. Must... make.... her mine. A real friend would have the courage to make the sacrifice for the sake of his emotional health. A real friend would never put their friend in the position of having to tell them to go f/ themself. That's not a real friend. I have no friends in my life that are currently making me want to never see them again. Why? Because none of my friends are pushing me for something that I'm not capable of giving them. This man has been after this woman for 7 years. That's a LONG time. Do you really think if the OP tells him some words he is gonna agree to the friendship on her terms? I say NO. The only solution to this drama is for the OP to take responsibility and cut ties with this person for his own mental and emotional health. Again, he is a GROWN MAN. The OP is not responsible for another grownup's feelings. That's his responsibility. If he can't hack it, and can't leave her for his own well being, he should go see a shrink and deal with the problem like an adult would. Do I really think that he's going to agree with her words about friendship? Honestly? Of course I don't. But if she says the words then it least she's showing enough gumption to prove that she genuinely cares about this person and doesn't want to lose him in her life. If he bails? She'd understand, of course. That's the way it works. Women can't force themself to feel romantically toward a man. It can never be forced. Further, a man's romantic inclinations are not the woman's responsiblity. She didn't steal cupid's quiver and stab the guy afterall. Link to comment
grymoire Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 I am not trying to offend you by saying that you are selfish. I am just pointing out your contribution to this unhealthy situation. That was caused by your selfishness. Yes, this man is telling he values your friendship a lot but you know it is a lie because he gets jealous when you date other guys. Both of you know what's going on. That man is in a vulnerable state.... He is infatuated with you... I wouldn't expect him to make any rational decisions. It is like expecting a drunk man to behave well. He will when he gets sober. In the same way your friend needs SPACE and TIME from you. Only then he will even realize what has been happening and be in a position to make good decisions. With space and time comes careful thinking... and in the end some thing will have to give. 7 years.... oh boy.... my heart goes out for him. whoever he is i feel for him. As his "friend" you must feel for him much more than me... If you are really his friend (which I strongly doubt) that is... If you don't mind how old are you guys? Link to comment
grymoire Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 A real "friend" would give her friend a blowjob to appease him? I'm thinking no. I don't know what kind of friends you keep, but not of my friends are about to give me a handjob because my feelings have been hurt. dude... you are just twisting my words... I never meant that. I am saying that she knows what his intentions are. She is not responsible for him to feel this way... But certainly she can get rid of that guy.. can't she? It is not really difficult to not pick up the phone when he calls... not difficult not to respond to his emails... don't tell me that she is worried about losing a friend here... because she knows that there is no friendship here and he is not a real friend. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 Grymoire, I do think you underestimate that I am his friend and do care for him...And yes it would be VERY difficult to ignore his emails and phone calls..You seem to think I am some heartless selfish girl...I am 28 and he is around 42.. Link to comment
jettison Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 dude... you are just twisting my words... I never meant that. I am saying that she knows what his intentions are. She is not responsible for him to feel this way... But certainly she can get rid of that guy.. can't she? It is not really difficult to not pick up the phone when he calls... not difficult not to respond to his emails... don't tell me that she is worried about losing a friend here... because she knows that there is no friendship here and he is not a real friend. Here's the simple metaphor. Someone you know is walking up to you every other week, handing you a 20 dollar bill. This person tells you that they LOVE to give you money, that it makes them the happiest person in the world, that it makes their life complete, just being able to hand you this new, crisp, 20 dollar bill. The first time you got that 20, you were shocked but happy. I mean, who else does this? Obviously, it's someone that wants something, right? Afterall, no one does something like this for free. So, you ask them. Why the 20 dollar bill? "I just love to see you happy", the person retorts. It means so much to me! Ok, you're thinking. If it means that much to you, I'm good with it. Keep passing the cash. Then, one day, the guy tells you that he would like to take some of your personal belongings, a few pictures you have up on the wall, and the Ipod that your aunt gave you for Christmas. "This is what I want", he finally announces. Huh, the woman is thinking? I thought you said it made you happy to just give me the money. Now you want my pictures and my Ipod in return? Why didn't you just ask for that straight up, BEFORE you started giving me the 20s? Why give me all this cash, make me think you just liked giving me cash, and then end up making these demands? I have to tell you that, if in the beginning, you just said "I'll give you $120 over the course of 12 weeks in exchange for your pictures and Ipod", I would have said "no thanks". This stuff isn't for sale. Do you understand? I mean, I really like the cash. The cash is great. But these things were truly never for sale. I know that I let you listen to my Ipod when we first met, but it's my Ipod, and I'm not giving it to you no matter how much money you give me for "free". And btw, this money isn't feeling very free all of a sudden. Then, a few months go by. No money. No handouts. Haven't heard from your friend. Then, out of nowhere, a $20 bill. "I just can't accept this" you say. I know this means something to you. I know that this money comes with a price, and I don't want to give you any of my belongings. "Nonsense," says the man. "There are no strings. Sure, I'd love to have your pictures. I'd love to have your Ipod. But really, the most important thing here is that this money makes you so happy. I mean, when I give it to you, I can tell that you're happy, and besides, it's not even really for you. It's for me. I LOVE giving it to you! If you didn't let me give it to you, my world would be sad. I'd be devastated! I'd be depressed! Don't you see how important this is to me? I can't believe you could even insinuate that the Ipod really ever had anything to do with this. I just love making you happy." "Well, I guess so," says the woman. "Are you sure?" "I'm sure." Weeks go by, and the 20s keep rolling in. Nothing is given back. The man always looks so happy to give the cash. The woman keeps accepting. One day, the woman gives her Ipod to a friend. She doesn't need it anymore. Afterall, she got a new video Ipod for Christmas from pops. "How dare you sell your Ipod!" says the man! "That's my Ipod!!!" -------------------- Are you getting this? The man is the one fumbling and tripping and being dishonest in an attempt to get something that he wants. He's offering services, under the auspices of "free" when his services are anything but. When she tries to clarify? He lies about it. And how is this unfair to him? Again, he's the one pushing all this. He's pushing himself on her and not the other way around. I don't see her begging for 20s here. I only see her saying "the 20s are nice, and it would be ashame to lose them." Link to comment
grymoire Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Grymoire, I do think you underestimate that I am his friend and do care for him...And yes it would be VERY difficult to ignore his emails and phone calls..You seem to think I am some heartless selfish girl...I am 28 and he is around 42.. No Anon.. I am not saying that you are a cruel person. But yet the fact that you have been selfish here is true as well. I can placate you by saying "oh wow... he is a pathetic guy... do this... do that" but I won't. Because a problem cannot be solved unless and until you look at it from both sides. I don't know you... I don't know him.... May be you don't want to agree but the truth is this problem wouldn't have persisted for 7 long years without you playing a role in it. I am not saying you led him on and played an active role. I am saying that you were selfish and thus played a passive role. If he is wrong, then you are also wrong. Its as simple as that. You are not a small innocent baby to believe when this love struck man is telling you "yes.. yes... i want only friendship". You KNOW he wants more. Why do YOU want to be friends with some one that actually wants some thing other than friendship from you? If you still want to be friends with him then here is my advice => It is difficult to end the friendship. What is the next best thing to do now? Go 'No Contact' for a period of 5 or 6 months with him. Tell him that you value the friendship and do not want it to end. Yet at the same time you want to give him space and time so that he can get over his intense feelings for you. If he truly is your friend he will agree and after 6 months of NC he will come back to you as a friend and not make any moves on you. If he doesn't then.... oh well... Link to comment
jettison Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 Translation: When someone hands you 20 dollar bills, claiming that there are no strings attached, it's your responsibility not to take the money, even though they lied about their real intentions, and through a fit when you wouldn't take the cash. Link to comment
Anon333 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 Wow Jettison...That is really kinda how it made me feel....He said exactly those words about doing things to make me happy---"There are no strings. Sure, I'd love to have your pictures. I'd love to have your Ipod. But really, the most important thing here is that this money makes you so happy. I mean, when I give it to you, I can tell that you're happy, and besides, it's not even really for you. It's for me. I LOVE giving it to you! If you didn't let me give it to you, my world would be sad. I'd be devastated! I'd be depressed! Don't you see how important this is to me? I can't believe you could even insinuate that the Ipod really ever had anything to do with this. I just love making you happy." I guess I knew deep down he was doing these things because he felt stronger about me than a friend..But he really has always insisted that I make him so happy. For me to talk to him makes his whole day....I dont know if this is him trying to get at something. I know he'd love something more from me... But after 7 years, the feelings he has for me goes deeper than him just wanting to get me in bed...Right...He said he would mary me at the drop of a hat if I'd have him...He said he'd be content living a life with me without sex, just to be in my company.....Those things are hard to hear because they seems so strange and twisted... and yet, this is someone who feels this way towards me, who I have been friends with for over 7 years and shared good times and bad times with, and he does mean a LOT to me..and it upsets me that other people would think that this guy means nothing to me and that it would be easy to lose him...He has been a part of my life for so long, I'd find it hard to think of not talking to him at least once in awhile.... Link to comment
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