amtjrtcet Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 that's why i can't wait. dating an ENAer.....hmmm. that might be up there with them having kids. lol jk guys. Amen to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amtjrtcet Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 But really, lets say you start dating, and you hold off on the whole sex part til 1-2 months down the road. By this time you really really like the person to the point where you'd miss their personality and character if they weren't around. Then you finally have sex....and its AWFUL!....then what. Sometimes it can't be worked past....I'd rather know with out putting too much time & effort into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I agree with this. Having it on the first date or even within the first couple of dates before the two people have even decided whether or not they like each other enough for an official relationship takes away something from building the relationship...because after that, the dates really become centered around "gee I can't wait for my orgasm tonight" rather than "gee I can't wait to see this person tonight". Also, if someone (be it the man or the woman) is ready to have sex with someone within 5 minutes of knowing them, chances are they have done that countless times before and then you get into the whole STD issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness_Falls Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Been there, done it on the first date, got the relationship. Wonder if I'm in a minority here.... hehe. Surprisingly, it's the best relationship I've ever been in. We weren't even looking for a relationship, we just seemed to click and it caught us both totally unawares! I've never been so sexually compatible with someone before. And then to have all that other good connection stuff as well... must of been luck! Still together 10 months on, and going strong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Real funny...... I have a very very healthy sexual appetite....so if we're gonna be 'dating' then theres gonna be sex...plain and simple....I wanna know from the beginning if we're sexually compatiable, b/c to me that's really really important..... that being said, its not easy to get a date with me......... But really, lets say you start dating, and you hold off on the whole sex part til 1-2 months down the road. By this time you really really like the person to the point where you'd miss their personality and character if they weren't around. Then you finally have sex....and its AWFUL!....then what. Sometimes it can't be worked past....I'd rather know with out putting too much time & effort into it. i'd be so disappointed. that's why i test drive cars before i buy. once you buy, you are a bit more dedicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeStrongBeHappy Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Sometimes if you get hot and heavy too soon, it can be really awkward emotionally. You just got naked and wild with someone you barely even know, and for all you know they are weird or have problems, or are lying or whatever. So no, i don't do it... If a just have a strong sexual need not related to emotional closeness, a vibe is good enough for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amtjrtcet Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Been there, done it on the first date, got the relationship. Wonder if I'm in a minority here.... hehe. Surprisingly, it's the best relationship I've ever been in. We weren't even looking for a relationship, we just seemed to click and it caught us both totally unawares! I've never been so sexually compatible with someone before. And then to have all that other good connection stuff as well... must of been luck! Still together 10 months on, and going strong! You're not really....or I'm right there with you....My ex, we had sex like the 2nd or 3rd date...we were together for 6 yrs....ex after that, I think we waited about 4 days, together 2 yrs.... I've never given it up and then had the guy lose interest....But that's prolly b/c I don't think sex=love as many women do. Sex is just sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness_Falls Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I agree that sex=sex a lot of the time. Then you find love as well with someone. I don't really connect the two because to me love is tenderness and intimacy like kissing and cuddling. But sex... it's wild and crazy! For me anyways... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godless_Heathen Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I don't think sex=love as many women do. I've never been able to tell the two apart, and I'm a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 sometimes adults have needs. sometimes they realize, wow this person actually is great. then you already know you have great sex. sometimes it ends up just being sexual. other times not. chance you take with anybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amtjrtcet Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Quite honestly I think some of the best relationships can be formed by starting off as friends......with benefits...Then you get to know the person as a friend with out all the 'fake' good impression crap you deal with when you're dating, and you get to 'test drive'.....THEN, you can decide if you wanna take it further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayar Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 But really, lets say you start dating, and you hold off on the whole sex part til 1-2 months down the road. By this time you really really like the person to the point where you'd miss their personality and character if they weren't around. Then you finally have sex....and its AWFUL!....then what. Sometimes it can't be worked past....I'd rather know with out putting too much time & effort into it. Personally for me (and this really is an individual choice that we all have to make) I'd rather risk that this AMAZING man I am crazy about - and who is so wrapped up in me he can barely keep his head on straight - will be awful in bed and I'll have to end the relationship, than risk that by my own hastiness I mess things up with the amazing guy by sleeping with him early on, never giving him the chance to get so crazy about me he can barely keep his head on straight. Again it's a personal thing. And I'm talking a couple months here, not years. Ask most guys about that one girl that drove them crazy in school... Chances are they never so much as TALKED to her, let alone dated or slept with her. In my little brother's case he still smiles if you mention her, even though he has no idea where she is right now. The girl they were driven crazy by almost CERTAINLY wasn't one of their girlfriends, and likely not even the girl they lost their virginity to... And with very few exceptions, she ISN'T the girl they slept with at a party that one time and then dated for a few weeks/months after that. The girl that drove him crazy, she was the unattainable. Granted you can't be unattainable forever but there's a happy medium. And it isn't date three, IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lila... Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 But really, lets say you start dating, and you hold off on the whole sex part til 1-2 months down the road. By this time you really really like the person to the point where you'd miss their personality and character if they weren't around. Then you finally have sex....and its AWFUL!....then what. Sometimes it can't be worked past....I'd rather know with out putting too much time & effort into it. But that only happens when you prioritize sex in the relationship. To me it's not important (right now), so seeing how "sex compatible" we are isn't one of the first things I have to look out for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I've never been able to tell the two apart, and I'm a guy. you don't know the difference? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I'm the kind of person that when I do find someone that I'm ready to have sex with, it'd be everywhere and all the time. I'm a really sexual person. I'm just waiting on that one good person who is worth my time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 But that only happens when you prioritize sex in the relationship. To me it's not important (right now), so seeing how "sex compatible" we are isn't one of the first things I have to look out for. i think sex the 'physical' so to speak is up there with personality. along with physically attractive. a few things i look for: attractive: physical and mentally family values good in bed smart and funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lila... Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 i think sex the 'physical' so to speak is up there with personality. along with physically attractive. a few things i look for: attractive: physical and mentally family values good in bed smart and funny Yeah, everyone has different priorities when looking for someone. Sex is one of the last ones on my list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Yeah, everyone has different priorities when looking for someone. Sex is one of the last ones on my list. i think that might change as you get older. even if it's like 10 years from now when you peak sexually. you gonna be like 'darn that ghost69.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lila... Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 i think that might change as you get older. I think so too. That's why I said right now it's not important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness_Falls Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 For me, my boyfriend gets driven crazy wondering what sexual plans I am making next... what new things we can come up with, and him thinking about what new things he wants to try. I think some people have sexual soulmates, and I found mine! Hehe. Of course, it isn't just about the sex, it's just that sex is something that really excites both of us. I guess it just felt right to sleep together right away, we couldn't stop it! haha. I do get what you mean though, I remember all the guys I fancied but didn't speak to at high school, but thought of them all the time. However, I much more enjoy thinking about my boyfriend now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amtjrtcet Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I think so too. That's why I said right now it's not important. And it may not...I have alot of girlfriends that are my age that don't care about sex at all. Their poor husbands and boyfriends hardly ever get any....I don't really understand them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lila... Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 even if it's like 10 years from now when you peak sexually. you gonna be like 'darn that ghost69.' Lol I already look at guys that way. It's just that I don't associate sex right away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness_Falls Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 And it may not...I have alot of girlfriends that are my age that don't care about sex at all. Their poor husbands and boyfriends hardly ever get any....I don't really understand them. Me and you are 2 of a kind! A few of my friends place sex way down low in their list of what they want in a partner... whereas with me, it's one of the most important things. Maybe it's because I have been in a relationship where the sex fizzled to nothing... then the relationship did the same. Not fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayar Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Which have you all found to be more often the case? Person A who is awesome in bed but then turns out to be someone personality-wise that you just cannot stand, or... Person B who is incredible in every way, but intolerably horrible in bed? In my case it's almost ALWAYS been Person A. He's great in bed, but I wouldn't want to share a life with him. thereforeee, my logic tells me that if I hold out on sex it is ENTIRELY more likely that sex with my next amazing-personality guy will be great, simply because I haven't really been disappointed before when it comes to sex. I feel I can risk the chance he might perhaps be one of those rare non-sexual clicks and take the time to get to know him as a person. In the long run, even if it would end up a disappointment, this way hurts a lot less. JMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I wouldn't mind being in love with someone that I find out later is bad in bed. People can learn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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