lahso Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 This is one of my first poems... any feedback/critique is welcome and appreciated. Realization Open eyes from the dark surround Awakened by realization, facing facts Truth tells no lies, hands unbound With deep sadness heart reacts Look into my eyes, say its not so Things once said mean nothing Having put faith in a persons soul But faith is lost by lack of trusting Trust existed upon that first glance But slowly it disappears from sight Only wanted to give this a chance But time proved it wasn't right Believe in love, a chance to take A battle much to often lost Though to much was at stake And payed the ultimate cost Lost love and friend, not in the plan Not even a fleeting thought Plan was to be eternally friends But now, my heart is left to rot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cid Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 I like it, I know how you feel. Been there done that. Keep writeing and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neva_black_n_white Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 great poem, i loved what you wrote, everythings correct, we do open our eyes to new things. but do you really believe that love is something that we take? or was that to ensure the poem flowed, only in my eyes when in love both love is shared and made equal, as to take love it would be on sided. well that was my analysis, but i loved it! *smiles* kel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lahso Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 Thanks for the feedback. People here are such a positive inspiration to me and continually give me hope in so many ways. neva_black_n_white - I actually was saying that relating, to the girl this poem was about, the love was one-sided. Interesting that you picked up on that. All the best!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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