A Word To End

[civilservant]

I lost my soulmate,

My other half,

She wonders why I struggle to accept she's gone,

My heart tells me to keep loving,

My head tells me to let go of whats lost,

What is left when hope fades?

Nothing.

 

I dont want to be alone,

These wounds wont heal,

Theres something under my skin,

That stops me being me,

People say to love and lose is better than to not love at all,

To all you I say this,

Rubbish.

 

When someone leaves,

You dont change,

You cant,

You wont,

You dont see the need,

But one day comes the realisation,

That you're damaged, hurt and maimed,

And things begin to change,

In that moment, what returns?

Hope.

 

So now I go on,

Praying for a better tomorrow,

For a day when I can be me,

Without fear of recrimination,

Betrayal, anger, hurt,

I wish you the worst,

Perhaps this makes me, but I dont care,

Terrible.