JadedStar Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 I would get a joint account that can be paid into but can only have money withdrawn if both account names have given their consent and signature. That ensures neither person can withdraw money without the other knowing. Have your own accounts for all other things. Good suggestion. personally i didn't see the need for a third bank account because our situation works, but so long as each person still has their own then one joint account for expenses won't hurt anything. Just another account to maintain. IT really is easy tho to pay bills mutually and jointly with separate ones. I have had zero problems with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrich Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Yeah, there is being careful and there is being careful. If the Op said she were going to combine finances I'd agree with everyone, not a good idea. But to set up a little cheque account to pay bills....no problem if you are sensible about it (and I think she is). there's really no point jumping at shadows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
15 Storeys High Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 I would consider it easier to set up a money transfer from both separate accounts into a joint account each month and have all bills come out of that joint account as direct debits each month. Once that's set up you don't have to do anything. No cheques. No maintenance, nothing. Just keep an occasional eye on it. Easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 My parents will be celbrating their 65th wedding anniversary Saturday. They have a joint account for expenses, Mom has control of that checkbook ;-), and they each have their own extra account. I think it works well as long as both parties agree that joint account only goes to household, rent, groceries, etc. Oh wow...that's incredible...now that's commitment...no wonder their joint account thing worked. Happy anniversary to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Personally if I were in a serious relationship, living with that man I would have no issues having a joint account. My ex and I shared a lot of our finances, spent a lot of money on each other and even through we aren't together I do not regret it one bit. I cant imagine being married and having separate finances, or sharing the bills in half. That to me is just ridiculous. I'm like that if I love them I have no problem eating of the same plate and sharing or using the same money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Personally if I were in a serious relationship, living with that man I would have no issues having a joint account. My ex and I shared a lot of our finances, spent a lot of money on each other and even through we aren't together I do not regret it one bit. I cant imagine being married and having separate finances, or sharing the bills in half. That to me is just ridiculous. I'm like that if I love them I have no idea eating of the same plate and sharing or using the same money. you obviously have not gone thru a divorce then if you think joint accounts = romantic. Lots of things are romantic but joint accounts probably don't fall into that category. Fiscal responsibliity and keeping one's own identity is very key and those who never married and had to deal with the repercussions probably can't relate. Sharing the bills in half is ridiculous? Wow. You must live in Eutopia? Most people who earn similar amounts of money don't think twice about sharing expenses equally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 you obviously have not gone thru a divorce then if you think joint accounts = romantic. Lots of things are romantic but joint accounts probably don't fall into that category. Sharing the bills in half is ridiculous? Wow. You must live in Eutopia? Most people who earn similar amounts of money don't think twice about sharing expenses equally. That is YOUR choice to live your way. I choose to live my way and have not been burned in any financial way yet. It has nothing to do with ROMANCE so I really don't know where you got that from. I believe that if two people are serious about each other, live together then having joint account is normal. When married even more so normal. That is my opinion, my way and my choice. I can not for the life of me agree to be married and share bills etc as roommates would. The way you choose to deal with this is your thing and your partners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 That is YOUR choice to live your way. I choose to live my way and have not been burned in any financial way yet. It has nothing to do with ROMANCE so I really don't know where you got that from. I believe that if two people are serious about each other, live together then having joint account is normal. When married even more so normal. That is my opinion, my way and my choice. I can not for the life of me agree to be married and share bills etc as roommates would. The way you choose to deal with this is your thing and your partners. If you don't want to share bills when you get married, i feel sorry for your hubby! And many people go into marriage with romantic notions (that is where i got that from) and they think they are invincible only to find themselves in divorce court one day wondering why they didnt' think a bit more pragmatic. You don't have to agree but that doesn't mean I won't continue to give pragmatic advice to those who are young and never have gone thru this sort of thing. PS - I was not burned financially at the age of 27 either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petite Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 If you don't want to share bills when you get married, i feel sorry for your hubby! You can feel sorry lol. Makes no difference. Having a joint account where both pays go into it, and using the same money to pay for bills etc is absolutely normal. I have never said that I expect him to be paying it all. I am saying that two people married should be using both pays to live on and buy everything and anything. From bills to food to clothing. Without that "mine/yours crap in between". If you did NOT understand that or don't agree with that, again your problem really. I could not care less how you deal with your finances. I feel sorry for people who are married yet choose to live as roommates just because they have been hurt in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrich Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 You are so antagaonist. Why is everything "my problem"? Jaded, I'm going to call you on this. Petite made no address to you, in fact her comment said it was her personal opinion and had no attachment to anything you posted and you replied with, you obviously have not gone thru a divorce then if you think joint accounts = romantic. Lots of things are romantic but joint accounts probably don't fall into that category. Fiscal responsibliity and keeping one's own identity is very key and those who never married and had to deal with the repercussions probably can't relate. Sharing the bills in half is ridiculous? Wow. You must live in Eutopia? Now you both need to stop here or I have to start editing the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shes2smart Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 One of the reasons we chose to keep our finances separate is his ex-wife is crazy, greedy and vindictive. While she would legally have no claim to anything of mine, it still takes money to defend oneself against accusations that money is "his" and he's trying to hide it from her. We've already had to come up with $10k to defend ourselves against her vindictive, greedy stupidity. Most of that came out of savings I had long before I ever met my husband. So, just because a couple doesn't have joint accounts, don't make the assumption that there's not more than equitable "sharing" going on.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 One of the reasons we chose to keep our finances separate is his ex-wife is crazy, greedy and vindictive. While she would legally have no claim to anything of mine, it still takes money to defend oneself against accusations that money is "his" and he's trying to hide it from her. We've already had to come up with $10k to defend ourselves against her vindictive, greedy stupidity. Most of that came out of savings I had long before I ever met my husband. So, just because a couple doesn't have joint accounts, don't make the assumption that there's not more than equitable "sharing" going on.... Exactly the type of thing I was saying. I took offense to someone saying that a couple who doesn't share an account lives like roommates. If they have never gone thru anytihng lke the above it is a very misinformed comment. If it is not personally right for them that is one thing, but to diss those who have the foresight to be pragmatic about their futures is another thing altogether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Budman Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Personally, I like the idea of Joint accounts. (I'm thinking of getting a separate checking account just for bills however) Put the money in, send the money away.) Quite honestly, I trust my wife 100% as she does me. Sometimes she will spend more, and sometimes I will. Even when she was working it worked as if some months "she paid the bills" and other months I paid the bills. It only appears that way due to her check came in and the bills went out. As long as we had enough money to cover the necessities. I don't care if she spends it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mythical_Suicide Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Personally, I like the idea of Joint accounts. (I'm thinking of getting a separate checking account just for bills however) Put the money in, send the money away.) Quite honestly, I trust my wife 100% as she does me. Sometimes she will spend more, and sometimes I will. Even when she was working it worked as if some months "she paid the bills" and other months I paid the bills. It only appears that way due to her check came in and the bills went out. As long as we had enough money to cover the necessities. I don't care if she spends it all. But you are married though. I think the majority of people here are saying if you're married, go for it! But not being married is alittle risky IMO. I trust my fiance fully but wouldn't even think about a joint account until we were married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 My fiance and I have lived together for over 5 years. We only just opened a joint account last summer to start saving together for our wedding. Before that. we shared expenses while keeping separate accounts. I think it just depends on the couple. When we are married, FH and I will probably keep separate accounts but also a joint account for household expenses. I know him well and we both value our credit, have excellent credit, and are financially responsible. My sister and her hubby do not have joint accounts. Both have awful credit, and he is more financially irresponsible than she, but she is not great at managing money either. As I said, it depends on the individual couple and situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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