msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 Hi method, thanks for the reply. I have deleted the text, but i feel too scared to delete his number, i dont know why, it feels like i'm cutting him off and i still really care about him and in a silly way want to be there for him just in case he need me, oh god this is madness. I'm so bl**dy confused by my feelings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Oh hun - your feelings are bound to that way. Be gentle on yourself, ok? What you are going through is quite normal. It sucks - but it is normal. But know that it will pass - ok? You will be ok. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 I really wish they would hurry up and pass, then i wouldnt be in the house too scared to go out just in case i bump into him in this small town that we live in, i want to go back to the gym but dont want to see him, would like to go into town for a drink but he's always out partying with his mates, and i'm just so scared i'll make a fool of myself ny crying or something!!! Perhaps its still too soon for me and maybe i should give it a couple more weeks or so. My mums coming to stay with me next week, so that might be a help or a complete nightmare! not sure which yet!!! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallingAllAngels Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 You did the right thing, and might I add Mark did a fantastic job of walking you though all this. Now...just calm down. It's good that your Mum is coming to stay with you. It's good that you did not send that text. You would have SO regretted it. ~Allie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 Allie I know, he has been a rock. Thanks i guess you're right i would have regretted it and felt stupid. I told him all these things when we broke up so he knows it already. i just didnt want him to think i wasnt thinking about him and didnt care, but i suppose its nt what he wants to hear and is most probably not interested in how i'm feeling anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallingAllAngels Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Allie I know, he has been a rock. Thanks i guess you're right i would have regretted it and felt stupid. I told him all these things when we broke up so he knows it already. i just didnt want him to think i wasnt thinking about him and didnt care, but i suppose its nt what he wants to hear and is most probably not interested in how i'm feeling anyway. The sad reality, is you're right. You'll just give him the "satisfaction" and ego boost of knowing you are still missing him, that's all. And, I bet if you sent that text, he probably wouldn't have answered it anyway, which would have made you feel even WORSE! Just sit tight. These emotions are not easy to deal with, but, like Mark said: THEY DO PASS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papillion Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 i'm in the same place as you, altho i'm one week behind you. Am distraught and lost. I also have composed countless texts and they are all sitting in my drafts, unsent. This absolutely sucks, and i dont have any advice for u, but i just wanted u to know you're not alone and send u a hug X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 Thanks Papillion, It really does suck, but at least your texts havent been sent either. Hugs to you too. Hope you can get over this soon XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Hey hun. Good for you for deleting that text. I know how hard it is not to do anything - remember - I was once in your shoes! Keep strong darling - as strong as you are able - ok? Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Papillion - heads up to you too for not sending those messages. Take care mate. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papillion Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 hey mark. You really are the dude. I havent forgotten how u helped me before. Dunno what we'd all do without you! Respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmantra Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Hi, I like to think of the no contact portion of a breakup as getting over a drug addiction. Every time you try to contact your former lover you are getting your "fix" which consists of articial affection or just plain contact because you "just want to hear his/her voice" Right now you need to be strong and resist these urges. Think of yourself as if you were in Rehab and going through detox. The relationship has now become toxic since it is one sided thereforeee you must go through detox which is an important part of rehab. One thing that will help you trhough this is this book, it really helped me a lot: It's called "Obsessive Love: When it hurts too much to let go" by Susan Forward link removed I highly recomend this book, it helped me tremediously. Good luck to you and take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amystar Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 I agree with Clabs, DON'T SEND IT! Trust me, I know how it is. I wake up every day wanting to contact my ex. It's been 3 weeks today since the breakup for me and I would really like to know sometimes why he has not contacted me and how he feels,....etc. But you know what, I take a step back and keep telling myself, HE DOESN'T CARE! If he did, he wouldn't have done what he did. If you send that text message, he will know how you feel about him. He will have the benefit of knowing that he can do whatever he wants, like not respond at all or send a cold response, but don't give him that! You are more valuable than he and you deserve so much better! Trust me hon, I know how you feel! I had one of those days yesterday. We used to spend every Saturday together, I was fine for a few days and then I just started crying last night. I keep telling myself the following (I think you should do the same): "I'm a beautiful, intelligent, loving woman and he lost the best thing he ever had, now I will have all that to offer to a man who will appreciate me". So please, don't send it. If you do, you will find yourself at a new low. Go talk to a friend or if you don't have anyone around, feel free to PM me, I would be glad to talk to you! Lots and lots of HUGS and hang in there, you can do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godwin Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Yeah, dont send it. Will only regret it. I am constantly tempted to send my ex a text telling her "how much I have changed and how I love her so much", bad idea though, I need to face facts, she knows EXACTLY how I feel and doesn't want me. NC is the answer, if he feels empowered he has all the options. If you ignore him, the power moves back towards you and perhaps he will start to regret things. Keep the head up. 3 weeks ago I was almost suicidal, today I feel optimistic and getting stronger by the day when I see a pretty girl it makes m happy because the reality is that one day soon I will be dating again and all the hate/anger/emotion will start to leave me for good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Yeah, dont send it. Will only regret it. I am constantly tempted to send my ex a text telling her "how much I have changed and how I love her so much", bad idea though, I need to face facts, she knows EXACTLY how I feel and doesn't want me. NC is the answer, if he feels empowered he has all the options. If you ignore him, the power moves back towards you and perhaps he will start to regret things. Keep the head up. 3 weeks ago I was almost suicidal, today I feel optimistic and getting stronger by the day when I see a pretty girl it makes m happy because the reality is that one day soon I will be dating again and all the hate/anger/emotion will start to leave me for good. Hey Godwin Good for you fella - good for you - kudos for keeping strong mate. NC really is the answer because it gets YOU back - back to a good and happy place. You were ok before her and you sure as hell will be ok after her Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godwin Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Hey Godwin Good for you fella - good for you - kudos for keeping strong mate. NC really is the answer because it gets YOU back - back to a good and happy place. You were ok before her and you sure as hell will be ok after her Mark Thanks, appreciated. I have started to look at the positives of the situation, I got 6 GREAT years of my ex's company before splitting, we travelled the world and done things I could have only dreamt of. Yeah its sad that we have split, but I have realised that its only sentiment. The FACT of the matter is that the relationship has ran its course. Be obviously were not meant to be. No one has dies though and of course I will miss her but things and people change and I now need to think of myself. I am looking to the future; the thrill of the chase, meeting my soulmate, that first kiss, the first time you are intimate, meeting her parents, our first holiday together etc etc etc The are all things I can look forward to now and I URGE everyone out there who is hurting to think of the positives as well. I was genuinely in a BAD way three weeks ago, thinking of going to the doctor for Anti-Depressants, wishing my life away etc Now with the help of my friends and the NC rule I am getting stronger, I realise I have done ALL I can and said ALL I can, if she doesn't want me then its her loss. I am not angry, bitter or confused. I am using this experience to make me a stronger and wiser person. In a way I am glad it has happened because we COULD have had an unhappy life together. STAY STRONG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 If you send a dumper a text like that it will do either one of two things: annoy them or amuse them. Or perhaps enlarge their ego. Do you really want to do that? I have been on both sides of this fence and that is the only thing that has happened. I was out with a guy friend who got a text like that and he showed it to me and laughed! That is what may happen. I knew the girl and could never see her after that without pitying her. Never text them, never! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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