msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 I cant bare it any more, i really want to text him today. i have writen the text but not sent it, its in my inbox ready to send! Somebody talk me out of this!!!! The text: I miss you every day and i still regret us breaking up so much. Not being able to share things with you about my day or the dog etc. i know you've moved on and are having a great time, and i am avouding town cos its the right thing to doBut i miss you, well who you were to me, so much somedays , its almost unbearable.I cant believe its ben a month when it feels like an eternity since we were together and happy. I'm sorry that you were unhappy and unsure about us for that time. i wish we'd talked then maybe it wouldnt have been such a shock to me. anyway just wanted to say, dont forget forget who i was to you when we were happy. I still have deep feelings for you and you will always have a special place in my life xxx God i really want to send this! I love him and miss him so much and i feel i want to let him know how i feel. this is stupid isnt it? I should just forget about him shouldnt i? Its so damn hard, I'm really struggling with my emotions today, have a hangover and feeling all emotional!!! Help!!! XXXXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Hey MS Stop right there - ok?! You know that if you send that you will feell even crappier afterwards, don't you? Sit on your hands hun - do whatever it takes - but please don't send anything. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 Its so hard, i just want to tell him how i feel. Is there anything wrong with him knowing? I dont know, i miss him, i really do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 So what are you going to achieve by contacting him??? ??? ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 I dont know, just want him to know how i feel about him and that he was so very special to me. I dont know why. I guess i hadnt thought that it would achieve anything, but i dont want him to think i no longer care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Darling - he knows all those things, doesn't he? You are much better off coming on here and venting it out instead of sending it to him. He doesn't want what you do, does he? He wants to go out and party all the time - he doesn't want to spend time with a super loving girl like you - jerk. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 i suppose you're right, but i dont want him to think i have forgotten about him, and i want him to know these things. but i suppose if he text back, get lost or dont text me again i have another girlfriend i'd be gutted! I dont know how to handle it some days, i suppose i'm trying to reach out to the person i loved who isnt there anymore. I feel so low today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Awwww - hun - (((((HUGS)))) You are gonna be ok darling - it is just one of those sucky days today. Keep your chin up-, eh? Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunney Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 There's nothing wrong with sending it. Better to get it all off your chest, you'll feel better after. Just don't expect to get the response you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 DON'T SEND IT! Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 does it make me sound hideously need and stupid? I just thought it was nice and from the heart. I havent sent it by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 If you don't do anything, you can't screw anything up - right??? Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 Theres nothing to screw up! No friendship no contact nothing, and i havent seen him for a while so, i dont know, i dont know whether to send it or not, 90% of me really wnts to send it 10% of me is too scared he'll be annoyed, or be horrible, OR WORSE, he may be really nice. then what will i do? He may be nice and that will make me want him more, but he still wont want me will he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allesnordnung Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Ok.. i suggest a compromise.. modify the text, in order not to be crappy.. and send it. I don't like the word "sorry" in your text.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 There is something to screw up - if he doesn't want to hear from you! Hun - you admit you are having a low day and a bit hung over. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 I didnt realise it sounded crappy, how about, 'its a shame that you were unhappy and usure about us' Blah blah blah.... or do i still sound like a needy idiot who should be over it by now? its been 4 weeks after all, and i'm alot older than him, i should be the one thats got my head screwed on surely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 Honey - why do you want to send this stuff - he already knows it, doesn't he?? There is nothing wrong with you - just because you are the older one - doesn't mean you are not allowed to hurt. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 Yeah i guess you're right Clabs, if he did want to be in touch he would have i guess, right? oh god its so horrible to think he doesnt want to hear from me again after nearly 2 yrs of spending nearly every day together, except when he worked awy and then we spoke and text each other every day!!! Think i'm going cold turkey from him or something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeybee52 Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 I totally agree with Mark-- DO NOT SEND IT. There's an underlying "begging" tone to it that will only backfire. It only gives the impression that you haven't moved forward and are still hung up on him and wanting to get back together. I think you will regret it if you send it. You've written the message, so you've gotten out the emotions, but seriously, press DELETE. Sending those intimate messages as a text seems really weak. Sorry, but that is just plain a bad idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 You are right darling - hard as it seems - if he wanted to be in contact, he knows where to find you, doesn't he. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 My heads in a mess, my mother thinks i should start taking the anti depressant the doctor prescribed for me, says it may lift my mood and help me see things more clearly, but i just dont know if its the right thing to do. Isnt this just normal to feel like this or should i be feeling a bit better now and getting over it? I just sit around thnking of him, go to work, go thru the motions, see friends, put on a brave face, but when i'm at home i feel consumed with grief. Is this normal? I suppose this should have been another thread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeybee52 Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 I would say that four weeks of grieving a relationship is to be expected. You are still able to "go through the motions," so you are on the right track. You're probably saddest when you're alone and unoccupied, so why don't you go and do something for yourself today? Something that you would enjoy doing, even a little bit? Try taking some baby steps toward gaining some distance and freedom from your past. I would hesitate taking medication for now, but if the feelings persist, consider it again in a few weeks. If you're a caring person, it's normal to grieve. Take good care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msfoolish Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 Honeybee I am feeeling weak at the moment but i dont want him to despise me for it, so i'll delete the text. Ok, its deleted. I dont want to sound like i'm begging, i just dont want him to think what i fekt for him was superficial, which is i guess, what i feel his feelings for me were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
method Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 hey Please dont send the message, if you do get a reply it will not be one that will make you feel good, or it will give you false hope only to send you feeling a lot lower afterwards. i have been stung many times by sending texts to the ex and not getting the reply i wanted. Heres what to do, write down his number on paper and give it to a close friend to keep, just incase you get a text. under no circumstances are they to give you the piece of paper unless you get a message that could be from his number. Delete his number off your phone so you are not tempted to call. I have been feeling up and down since i went NC, i can honestly say going to the gym has really helped me, even if it is just to get my arms and shoulders big again incase i bump into her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeybee52 Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 I understand how hard it is. Your emotions are reflective of your loving nature. Try to keep moving forward and doing things for yourself. In time, it will become easier. He is not the person to define who you are-- YOU ARE. Don't give him too much power in that regard. In time, your perspective on him and on your relationship will definitely change. You'll get stronger every day if you put yourself first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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