blackhela Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 well dont know where to start realli ive been with someone for 21 months...i gave him everyfing, money,love,gifts,shoulder to cry on..everyfing then 3 weeks ago he admitted to sleeping with 2 of my best friends the first was over a year ago and the other one was about 5 weeks ago i am distraught,heartbroken,depressed,just plain miserable.. first i ignored him but then it got harder so i decided to ring him last night and he didnt even seem bothered, like he didnt love me anymore..i regret phoning him because i let my guard down how could he do it to me with 2 of my best friends!!!! 3years ago i had quite a few problems...i was sexually assaulted and my boyfriend helped me get over it and to move on with my life i love him to bits but i hate him for doing it to me!!!! i just want to cry all the time,im not really eating, and i just crave for him to hold me any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki71 Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 Move on. I would also find new friends. I know you love him but if he is going to sleep with so called friends you need someone better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overburdened Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 Run him over with a car and there will be no more games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KG Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 He betrayed your trust...not just once. Once, perhaps you could blame on something, but twice....nada. And the fact that he admitted it to you is beyond contempt. Leave him, his loss, not yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhela Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 he proposed to me earlier on that day thats wots the hard thing..i just dont know how he could do it to me :sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki71 Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 He doesn't care about you. He will say anything and do anything just to get what he wants. If you stay it will only get worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creative Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 So he apologised? I assume you have a 3rd and 4th best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhela Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 not really thats another fing i gave up for him..i used to have quite a few guy friends and i lost contact with them all because my boyfriend was jealous now i only have one friend i can talk to and he appologised after he told me, asking if we could start a fresh..but on the phone he didnt seem to care he just sed hes fount someone else ive never been so let down and felt this lonely before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salty Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 your boyfriend is a * * * * period. You are wasting your time over a * * * * , I perfer men...they're great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhela Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 but how do you patch up the wounds and move on...its not that easy...ive let fings slide b4 with him like putting me down, calling me names, even hitting me once.. i never thought he could be capable of this..it just seems like a horrible bad dream Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salty Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 a firend of mine is going throguh the same thing i went through something simular but my boyfriend and i worked it out how did we do that well i put my Fu**ing foot down. I don't let people walk over me. Life is too Fu**ing short! let me ask you this what would you tell your daughter to do in a smilular situation if you had one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhela Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 id tell her to do the thing i know i should be doing..move on its scary how one person dominate all your thoughts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salty Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 okay wait im being too harsh and not understanding i was 17 once too okay i am only 1 year older than you but in a year i have changed sooo much. this guy is not your life you can't let him think that. The reason it hurt me so bad when my boyfriend cheated on me was because i let him rule every aspect of my life. That isnt right you are too young i spent a whole year crying over this guy i am almost 19 and i lost a whole year out of my life already and feel older because of it. its so F***ed up. I know its not easy it took me a year. Oha nd my friend she had a baby with this guy who was 26 and shes the same age as me. he slept with our other friend and a bunch of other girls now she is stuck there with a baby and depressed as * * * * . but she called me everyday we * * * * * ed about him and i * * * * * ed about my boyfriend until she got over him. Not completely over him but shes better now. She realized that hey i dont deserve that * * * * . I realized the same thing. I'm getting a job going to college and living my life i took my boyfriend back for cheating on me so hes just along for the ride now if he fu**s up again forget him, i have a life to worry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salty Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 it is scary how we let one person dominate our lives that is why we need a balance in our lives friends lovers and family. that way when one of those people hurt us we have others to help us through it. One person should never dominate anything in anyones life. It just doesnt work like that. You can message me here anytime you need to vent i went through this already i helped my friend through it and i'm willing to help any girl go through this because its horrible I almost killed myself over this guy and now i'm just shaking my head thinking as if I thought he was worth all of that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhela Posted June 14, 2008 Author Share Posted June 14, 2008 you seem to be a very strong person..i hope after this i become like u..dnt take any sh*t i know ive got to let him go because its only 2 that hes confessed about just heartbreaking when your friends stab you in the back too i suppose i just let him manipulate me,which i should never of done in the first place..after he helped me get over the assault its like i relied on him to always be there..now am just like s**t im on my own thank you for your advice ya dont know how much it means Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salty Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 no dont think of it like that. I used to think about it like that like it was some how my fault. yes he manipulated you but it wasnt your fault. He was weak, you didnt let him fu** around- he CHOOSE to hurt you. Messed up when you think about it but it had nothing to do with you. He's just being a greedy guy. One thing that helped me through what my boyfriend did was forgiving him. It was my understanding on how much of a better person I am than him for one- keeping it in my pants, being honest and forgiving him. I just feel like a stronger person for doing it. Your "Friends" are idiots but you need to find out what happened there and why they did it. Talk to them. Remember though at our age these friends can sometimes be complete jokes, we have to learn what a real friend is by going through situations like these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salty Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 how old is your boyfriend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissykissy83 Posted June 14, 2008 Share Posted June 14, 2008 hey blackhela Im really sorry he did this to you, you deserve much better!! My fiance of 5yrs cheated on me, and I know it really hurts. Time is a great healer though. Dont contact him in anyway again, and if he contacts you, try to avoid it (unless you feel it would give you closure). I found it much easier not knowing what my ex was doing or who he is now with. It will take time (which i know really sucks) but think of it as making you stronger I use to listen to christina aguleria- stronger and Alicia Keys - Karma about a month after the ex told me he cheated. And really you deserve much better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tikkii Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 What a loser. You're better off rid of somebody with so little integrity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 He obviously doesn't care about your feelings, nor do your friends. Good riddance to all of them. If you think for one minute that he is sorry and feels bad, HE DOESN'T. He will say anything to keep you in his good graces, that way he can go and sleep with more friends of yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhela Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 he is 17...ive spoke to him trying to be civil,, he said he is sorry and that he will stay away for my birthday incase it upsets me been there..which it probably would.. thank you for all your replies.. really appreciated..just hope end of the day what he did was worth it but do you ever fully get over anything like this..like love anyone in the same way again x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 You can love again, but it will take time. I do suggest that you really evaluate the type of people that you keep company with. It really blows my mind that 2 people that claim to have been your friends slept with him. You just can't be friends with anyone. My girls and I have an unwritten rule.....We don't mess around with each others man nor do we mess around with any of the ex's.... A friend wouldn't even bat an eye at their friends man.....Wrong Wrong Wrong..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhela Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 exactly i think thats what hurts the most..if it was some random person id still be pretty pi**ed of but like you say friends should know better as it is an unwritten rule one day hopefully theyll get what they deserve xx thank you for everything xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 exactly i think thats what hurts the most..if it was some random person id still be pretty pi**ed of but like you say friends should know better as it is an unwritten rule one day hopefully theyll get what they deserve xx thank you for everything xx KARMA........what goes around, comes around The good thing is you are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. There is plenty of time to find that good man that is going to do right by you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhela Posted June 15, 2008 Author Share Posted June 15, 2008 does karma always happen though..id like to think so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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