Does race play a role in Dating/attraction?

[itsallgrand]

Yeah well now I'm real curious where the OP grew up. lol.

 

Not to be crude, but if I had a dollar for every asian guy I saw with a white girl (usually blonde hair) , I could buy something..good. lol.

 

Sitting here in the middle of canada it seems almost weird to me that you'd question your date-a-bility and attractiveness to 'white' girls.

 

Now you got the wheels turning about this as I've thought lots about this over the years. Didn't use to really about dating. With my ex was the first time I encountered anything negative bc of 'race' - and it took me by quite a shock really.

And no, he wasn't asian.

[Lowconfidence]

Also, enough of this unconfrontational B.S. If you classify an entire race as un-dateable of course it makes you racist on some level. Absolute statements made about any race almost by definition makes you one.

 

No, it's just preference. I'm not interested in dating Arabian or Black females. It does not make me racist.

 

If a person does not want to date their own kind now that I find racist.

[Superfreak]

No, it's just preference. I'm not interested in dating Arabian or Black females. It does not make me racist.

 

What part of my post didn't you read? An absolute statement made about a race is racism. It can be a lesser degree of racism, but it fits the definition perfectly. "All blacks are unattractive" is a racist statement by its nature since racism involves preferential selection or deselection of someone based on there race.

 

A generally good test for whether or not one is racist in regard to dating and attraction is if they make assumptions about a person's appearance or attractiveness based on there race without actually looking at them first, which is exactly what you're doing with the above statement.

 

Hell, I can't even imagine saying "Out of the 1 billion or so people in the world that fall under the black racial category, I would not be open dating or boning a single one" and not come off as racist. Even if you dislike features that can be common to blacks, such as dark skin or curly hair, there's plenty of blacks out there that don't have either. Yet your statement of "I won't date blacks" basically treats blacks as monolithic in appearance (or culture) which in itself is a racist assumption.

 

If a person does not want to date their own kind now that I find racist.

 

This is racist, yet it does a great job of proving my point rather then yours. So an Asian that isn't open to dating other Asian's is racist, but a white person that isn't open to dating Asian's is not? And you think that's actually a logically consistent statement? Concession accepted.

[imsoalive]

"Rick James" does have a point..every race has said/thought something towards another race..on another note there is "racism" within ethnic communities..Some spainiards or south americans, cant stand Mexicans..Some blacks wont date darker skinned blacks..Some Saudis will have NOTHING to do w/ anyone else in the middle east..its the way of the world and has been goin on since the biblical days.

 

Whats sucks about it is that sometimes it affects Love.which is supposed to be as universal as Music. Now the girl that I'm now gonna on a date with saw past that and said that she could tell that I was diff..which I am, but by what the guy said and the looks he gave, I could tell. And quite honestly, it wouldnt have mattered if they were latin, asian, arabic, native..it was the way it went down that WAS an issue. Like I said, I brushed it off and wnet my merry way.

[Lowconfidence]

What part of my post didn't you read? An absolute statement made about a race is racism. It can be a lesser degree of racism, but it fits the definition perfectly. "All blacks are unattractive" is a racist statement by its nature since racism involves preferential selection or deselection of someone based on there race.

 

 

This is racist, yet it does a great job of proving my point rather then yours. So an Asian that isn't open to dating other Asian's is racist, but a white person that isn't open to dating Asian's is not? And you think that's actually a logically consistent statement? Concession accepted.

 

So if a tall female will only date men taller than her is she narrowminded?

 

If people will date only others within 10 years their age category is that age discrimination?

 

What about university educated people who want to date other educated people?

 

Fit people only dating fit people?

 

We all have certain preferences and if someone doesn't want to date another culture/race/religion I just see it as another preference.

[Superfreak]

So if a tall female will only date men taller than her is she narrowminded?

 

She's certainly discriminating, yes. But this is beside the point.

 

If people will date only others within 10 years their age category is that age discrimination?

 

Yes. But this too is beside the point.

 

What about university educated people who want to date other educated people?

 

Yes, they could be said to be elitist if they write someone off they would otherwise be a good match for on the basis of there lack of education, absolutely. But this too is beside the point.

 

Fit people only dating fit people?

 

More false dilemena's terrific. Is any of this really convincing to you?

 

We all have certain preferences and if someone doesn't want to date another culture/race/religion I just see it as another preference.

 

Can you honestly not see the difference between preferring a certain "type" and categorically ruling out people you've never seen or met based on nothing other then the fact that you know they're black ?

 

I discrimate on partners based on age, weight, religion all the time. If you choose to discriminate based on race then that's your perogative, but it doesn't stop the fact that what you're doing is racial discrimination by its definition. I don't mind being labelled ageist, or weightest, or anti-religion at all, because I am in regards to dating preferences. If you do indeed categorically rule out women based on nothing other then the fact that they're black or hispanic, then what else is this called aside from racial discrimination.

 

As I said before, if your problem is with the appearance of certain features common to blacks or Arabs then a statement like "I won't date blacks or Arabs" is going too far since their are doubtlessly countless Arabs or blacks that don't have the physical features that some may believe are universal. To assume that all people of a race share these physical characterisitcs is absolutely racist. If instead of something about there appearance turning you off, its in regard to culture, then this too is racism since you're assuming all blacks or arabs are affiliated with a certain culture or religion which is by no means the case.

[sweetsally]

I am caucasian and I find men of all different ethnic backgrounds attractive. If I felt I connected with a man it wouldn't matter if he was asian, short, bald, or only had one leg.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I will never date someone of another race it isn't because i'm racist it's because I have a preference and I prefer to date someone who is of the same race as I am and to this date I have yet to find myself attracted to someone who was black, asian or whatever else the case may be. Just because i'm not attracted to someone of a certain race why does everyone automatically throw the "oh you're racist" crap out? Now if I said it in a different way ." I'm only attraced to blonde/red hair and blue eyed guys" will you still try and say i'm racist because I only find guys with certain features attractive? It has nothing to do with whether someone is black or asian or whatever it has to do with what i'm attracted to.

[Shudder]

but you'd be friends with people of other races right?

[Chimps]

I'm chinese but was born and bought up in NZ. So I can relate to why OP is asking this as I ask myself the same question sometimes.

 

Here is the scenario that comes to mind the most often for me, say if you're attracted to someone, you guys are currently friends and you want to take the relationship to the next level, say you really care about that person and you know that you can make her the happiest person in the world if you guys were together, but because that person prefers not to date people of your race, for some reason you can't seem to change her mind and because of this you guys can't be together. If you were not to her preferred height, weight or have the right eye colour, you know that she can over look it as she can see the person and the personality that you truly are.

 

Race is something different, I mean people are fine being friends with people of other race, but when thinking about them in terms of girlfriend or boyfriend, they are truly turned off and sometimes even disgusted.

 

I don't consider this to be racism but it is a true fact in the world, and really sad sometimes when you think that something that you should be proud of and you have no control over is hindering you, but this does happen. I am no different, but its great to hear people say that race is not a factor for them.

[Berb]

Most people are attracted to a broad range of people - they may have a specific "type" that they tend to like, but that doesn't mean they never find anyone who doesn't fit that "type" attractive.

 

Personally, I've found myself attracted to members of most every race. There is one race I rarely find attractive - it doesn't matter which one - but it's not a question of racism, just preference. I have friends of that race, I just don't wanna sleep with them.

 

One of my closest friends is a white girl, and she's married to an Asian guy. She had dated a bunch of surfer dudes previously, so who would've thought? I don't think race really matters. No matter what race you are and what race(s) you find attractive, sooner or later you will probably find yourself in a mutually-attracted situation.

[Superfreak]

I will never date someone of another race it isn't because i'm racist it's because I have a preference and I prefer to date someone who is of the same race as I am and to this date I have yet to find myself attracted to someone who was black, asian or whatever else the case may be. Just because i'm not attracted to someone of a certain race why does everyone automatically throw the "oh you're racist" crap out? Now if I said it in a different way ." I'm only attraced to blonde/red hair and blue eyed guys" will you still try and say i'm racist because I only find guys with certain features attractive? It has nothing to do with whether someone is black or asian or whatever it has to do with what i'm attracted to.

 

Again, you're making two assumptions. The first is that all races are monolithic in appearance, which is not true and a racist assumption. The second assumption your making is that racism is a binary condition, either you are or you're not, which is also untrue. If someone told me they had no desire to date Asian's, but otherwise showed no signs of preferential selection or deselection of races, I wouldn't believe they're on the same level as a KKK clansmen. Yet at the same time it's impossible to refer to categorically ruling out millions or billions of people based on nothing other then the fact that you know they're black or asian and thus assume they have certain features, characteristics, or personality/cultural traits that turn you off is racist. Think of racism as more of a spectrum, a preference for not dating certain races is a relatively minor form of racism, yet it still fits the definition of "racism".

 

 

As for whether or not the line "I'm only attracted to guys with blonde hair and blue eyes attractive" would still be considered racist, as I said there's a huge difference between preferring a certain "type" and categorically admitting to ruling out all people of a certain race. I actually prefer blonde's, but if someone was offering me a blind date and said "This girl I know is really pretty and smart and funny....oh but one thing, she's black" and I replied with "say no more, no thanks" without even looking at her as an individual and instead assuming her appearance and mannerism's based on race, you wouldn't call that racist?

[Snoopy24]

In my opinion, I think most people are attracted to their own race first. Not everyone, obviously..but most.

 

I personally find guys from all races attractive. I don't have a top or bottom list. It's about the individual.

[metrogirl]

In my opinion, I think most people are attracted to their own race first. Not everyone, obviously..but most.

I personally find guys from all races attractive. I don't have a top or bottom list. It's about the individual.

 

I'm not. I'm caucasian and I have always been attracted to hispanic men. I did casually date a few black men some years back. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I wouldn't date a white man, I just never really found any that truly caught my attention.

 

I recently moved from a predominately asian neighborhood and honestly had never really thought about dating an asian man until I lived in the neighborhood. They are some of the sweetest men around. Very gentleman like and I met quite a few that were insanely hot.

 

I'm at the point in my life where, I'm not going to just focus on what used to attract me because obviously that didn't work all that well for me. I just want someone that is going to be good to me. If he is a decent man with morals and knows how to keep his penis locked away then I don't care what color he is, or if he comes from a far away planet.

[Shudder]

i'm pretty much with what 'Superfreak' has said. I used to say that I dont like black girls because i found their features too robust for me. But that changed when I met one that wasn't like that at all. If you can be friends with someone from a different race, but then find it disgusting to date them because they are of that race, to me that has some lines or racism in it.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

If you approach a girl as a man, not as an Asian man, it won't matter unless she strictly dates a specific race. Does that make sense? What I mean is go into it as a guy wanting to date a girl, where the differences in culture will surface by itself instead of by your self consciousness about the situation.

 

Funny a lot of my crushes were of another race but I never saw it as that. To me they were just another girl I couldn't talk to lol.

[Pegasus]

Personally, I wouldn't date anyone outside of my race but that is my personal preference. Being currently in Brussels (Belgium) I can tell you that I see every day couples of different races so obviously it's not a big deal.

[MD Geist]

I don't think race plays any role in dating.

 

My ethnics are White, Irish, Italian, Puerto Rican and Black but I look like a straight white guy with red hair and for some reason I do get alot of offers to date black women. My family has been very opened minded so it must run in the family to date outside of the race.

 

I wouldn't hold back on anyone just because of their race as long as were on the same page I guess we can live together in harmony. Personally I like any woman who has a unique back around like mine.

[Snoopy24]

i'm pretty much with what 'Superfreak' has said. I used to say that I dont like black girls because i found their features too robust for me. But that changed when I met one that wasn't like that at all. If you can be friends with someone from a different race, but then find it disgusting to date them because they are of that race, to me that has some lines or racism in it.

 

That is not racist at all. It's personally preference.

 

 

People like what they like. Does that mean they are prejudice or racist against the people who they wish not to date? absolutely not.

 

I would be friends with anyone, but if I'm not attracted to them, it doesn't mean I am racist. I just don't want to have sex with someone who I'm not physically attracted to.

 

I most likely wouldn't date out of my race, and I wouldn't date a 110 year old man, or someone who is massively overweight. that doesn't mean I am prejudice or racist against them, it just means I'd prefer not to have a relationship with them

[Superfreak]

That is not racist at all. It's personally preference.

 

Do some people in this thread need a dictionnary or something? They're repeating the exact same arguments over and over again and not once has anyone even attempted to refute my numerous posts on how intrinsic in saying you won't date a certain race is the assumption that all in that racial group share the same physical characteristics or cultural traits that turn you off, which is a racist assumption to begin with.

 

Yes it's a personal preference that really doesn't cause that much harm. But it's a racist personal preference. If it offends the people in this threads sensibilities to admit to having a racist attitude towards dating well boo-hoo, it is what it is.

 

 

I most likely wouldn't date out of my race, and I wouldn't date a 110 year old man, or someone who is massively overweight. that doesn't mean I am prejudice or racist against them, it just means I'd prefer not to have a relationship with them

 

Actually it absolutely does mean that you are discriminatory based on age and weight when it comes to dating. I am too. The difference is that I'll own up to it and call myself ageist when it comes to my preference in terms of dating while certain posters in this thread are grasping at straws trying to call there racial exclusionary practices when it comes to dating anything but racism. A lesser shade of racism certainly, but fitting the definition of racism perfectly.

[Snoopy24]

No it's not racism. Not even in the slightest.

 

To be racist means you have a hatred or intolerance of another race.

 

Because someone doesn't want to date a certain race, doesn't mean they have anything against them, or thinks the whole race is unattractive. It's just a preference.

 

Sorry but you are wrong.

[Shudder]

That is not racist at all. It's personally preference.

 

 

People like what they like. Does that mean they are prejudice or racist against the people who they wish not to date? absolutely not.

 

I would be friends with anyone, but if I'm not attracted to them, it doesn't mean I am racist. I just don't want to have sex with someone who I'm not physically attracted to.

 

I most likely wouldn't date out of my race, and I wouldn't date a 110 year old man, or someone who is massively overweight. that doesn't mean I am prejudice or racist against them, it just means I'd prefer not to have a relationship with them

 

 

if you have a preferance when it comes to dating thats fine, but when you are excluding an entire group of people because of how they look like, that is essentially a form of racism.

[Snoopy24]

if you have a preferance when it comes to dating thats fine, but when you are excluding an entire group of people because of how they look like, that is essentially a form of racism.

 

No it's not.

 

If I didn't want to be friends based on how someone looked, then that would make me racist. But when it comes to being intimate with someone, I can be as picky as I want. And that is not whatsoever racist.

 

and also, there are many cultures who date only their race based on religious beliefs. Nothing to do with looks. Does that make them racist too?

[Superfreak]

No it's not racism. Not even in the slightest.

 

Oh Ok, I didn't realize just stating things as fact made them so.

 

To be racist means you have a hatred or intolerance of another race.

 

It also means that you assume uniform characteristics and capacities based on nothing other then racial affiliation. Which is exactly what people that say they won't date a racial group do because if they don't believe that racial groups shares essentially homogenous traits then there would be no reason for them to make an absolute statement such as "I won't date blacks". It's the absoluteness of the statements being made that make them racist. Such people are ruling out others without even seeing them based upon there racial affiliation being described as "black" as opposed to actually even bothering to judge on a case by case basis.

 

Because someone doesn't want to date a certain race, doesn't mean they have anything against them, or thinks the whole race is unattractive. It's just a racist preference.

 

There, I fixed the quote for you.

 

Sorry but you are wrong.

 

And yet another person fails to even attempt to address the actual content of my post.

[Superfreak]

and also, there are many cultures who date only their race based on religious beliefs. Nothing to do with looks. Does that make them racist too?

 

Of course it does. It means they have a racial dating preference, which is a racist dating preference. What's with all these false dilemma's.