ycmanvs Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 One of the guys I met online keeps calling, texting and emailing. I have never met him in person or called him back. He does not seem to be getting the message that at this point, it is becoming obsessive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GettingBetter Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 First of all, I'm shocked at how inconsiderate many of these guys have been, and I want to sincerely apologize for my gender. But I realize now I haven't had it that bad. There have been a few awkward situations that I've been in, but a first date usually leads through to a fifth date for me, but it's after that fifth date or so that things start falling apart. The thing is, though, I don't really put myself out there. And I've noticed that when I ask a girl out, things usually don't work out too well, but when a girl asks me out, things are usually much better. Then I read this: I haven't dated much but the guys I have gone on dates with turn out to be weirdos or I'm not attracted at all. One guy obviously had a girlfriend (I later saw pictures of them on myspace and love quotes dedicated to her on msn), but would deny it and still insist on going on more dates. Then another one forced me to kiss him and then asked if he could take me to a hotel, haha. The only time I was attracted and really liked the guy was when I had asked him out. I think from now on I'm sticking to going out with guys that I ask out, which will probably be never lol. So, maybe girls are a better at gauging who they should be going out with. Maybe that's because guys tend to be more superficial. Hmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drewciouS281 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Honestly i hate the dating game. I love meeting new people and do all the time but i dont pull the typical thing "wanna go on a date sometime?" or "can i buy you dinner sometime?". All that crap is too common and over used. I like to do things different. If i meet someone that seems interesting and im attracted too i treat them as im treating a new friend but at the same time ill be mysterious and play alittle hard to get. Ive learned its best to establish some sort of friendship even if it only lasts a week, its still some sort of foundation rather than right away jumpin into the sack. Ive learned from xperiance. Ill either suggest to do something active, something adventurous, or an invite to a gathering. Depending on the feel i get from the person because the first 30 mins i do alot of observing, i might take control and tell them "you know what, im going to pick you up tomorrow, im gonna show you some kewl spots in the city and then we are going to go get sushi and sake!" I wont give the choice. If she is interested she will say ok, if not than im ok with that to. on to the next! haha. So i guess it can be fun but for the most part (in my city atleast) it sucks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Why can't more people look at it that way? ^^ Seriously, this guy I mentioned before that I've been talking to this week - - is putting lots of pressure on already. He knows for sure that we'd be great together he says so won't I just go ahead and agree that we will date seriously? Sigh. Either he's impulsive or he thinks I'm stupid.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GettingBetter Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Yeah, I always establish a friendship first. That's probably why my experience hasn't been that bad. And worst case scenario, I still have a friend. Good point, drew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lila... Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 The thing is, though, I don't really put myself out there. And I've noticed that when I ask a girl out, things usually don't work out too well, but when a girl asks me out, things are usually much better. Then I read this: So, maybe girls are a better at gauging who they should be going out with. Maybe that's because guys tend to be more superficial. Hmm... Maybe, but I think the reason those dates (where I ask someone out) would work out better is because I can choose a guy with the qualities that I like, but when it's the guy asking me out I'm not really choosing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavaliere Posted June 13, 2008 Author Share Posted June 13, 2008 Yeah, I always establish a friendship first. That's probably why my experience hasn't been that bad. And worst case scenario, I still have a friend. Good point, drew. Establishing a friendship first is one thing, but when you go out with someone off the cuff and then they tell you, "Let's be friends," that's got to be the most common "easy let-down" line of them all. Does anyone in these cases ever actually remain friends? Does anyone really want to? In fact, how common is it to really remain friends at all with people you've dated? Good friends, as in Jerry and Elaine from the TV show Seinfeld, to quote a popular example. I don't know how it is for everyone else, but I tend to drift away pretty quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icarus27 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Now, I'm hardly perfect myself, don't get me wrong, but is it just me, or is there a shortage of mature, well-adjusted people out there? Maybe it's because I'm still in my mid-twenties and a lot of people this age are flaky (sorry to generalize like that), but dating to me often comes accross more as a chore than something fun. Of course, the beauty of that is when you actually go on a date that is fun, you know that person could be special Anyone else feel drained by the dating game? Realise I'm coming into the thread late, but wanted to remark on the OP. I totally agree Cavaliere. I think there is a crisis shortage of mature well-adjusted people to date. Not so long ago I responded to a poster on eNA by doing a roll call of the dozen or so women I had encountered over a period of two years through online dating ... wish I could remember the thread now, but never mind ... and reading back all the various degrees of rubbish behaviour I was amazed at how I had survived all that. These days I am going through a period of consolidating the lessons I learnt during these two years. The thing is, the lessons are not in themselves, pretty. Maybe it would be truer to say that after my remaining faith in womankind has received more than a dozen beatings, I am trying to recover. The worst examples, I have to say, the ones which at the time made my blood boil were women who will engineer the interaction / the date etc. so *nothing is ever their fault*. Like MSN-blocker woman, who sends you a clear unfriendly negative signal, then when you ask politely whether to end contact, rants at you for destroying any chance of a relationship, effectively nothing is ever her fault. I had this from a woman who is of the same ethnic minority as me, who in only her second email, unleashed a full salvo at me on how men in our (Asian) ethnic group are all good for nothing, wastes of space. Why, I asked her, had she then put herself on an Asian matrimonial website? She replied with how she didn't appreciate being questioned like this (now that I had exposed her thin veneer of hypocrisy) and wasn't interested anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barfgarbage Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 I like having a full on gf or being single. I hate the dating part and everything tied up in it. Some people change their behavior and aren't real with one another. I think that aspect is ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 dating is a battle. a relationship is work. single is fun. i do enjoy the dating thing sometimes. cause you get butterflies in your stomach with someone new. but i get butterflies when i'm in a relationship with a great girl too. single is just fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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