Mythical_Suicide Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Just to clarify, as I am a happy, healthy Facebook user, you have options as to who views your profile. You can change your privacy settings so that only your friends (whom you must approve before they can even become your friend) can see your page. This means that anyone who is not an approved friend can only see your name and your profile pic, NOTHING else. cs90453 put it best, FB is a tool, it's up to you how you use it. You can use it in a positive way, or a negative way. This true.. I have had myspace for 2 years now and have never had an issue. My page is set to private, I don't have my real location on the main page where everyone can view it. I don't use my real name for searches and only someone who knows my email address can add me as a friend and even then they have to be approved. So as I said, Myspace isn't evil it's the people who use it and abuse it. It's a really good place to keep in touch with those you can't keep in touch with often and my family who lives in other parts of the state can keep updates on my son from the site because i'm always adding up new pictures of him for them to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine311 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 This true.. I have had myspace for 2 years now and have never had an issue. My page is set to private, I don't have my real location on the main page where everyone can view it. I don't use my real name for searches and only someone who knows my email address can add me as a friend and even then they have to be approved. So as I said, Myspace isn't evil it's the people who use it and abuse it. It's a really good place to keep in touch with those you can't keep in touch with often and my family who lives in other parts of the state can keep updates on my son from the site because i'm always adding up new pictures of him for them to see. It can be really valueable in this sort of situations. My husband and I currently live in the same town as his parents, but we are moving 10 hours away in two months. With us working on a grandchild you can imagine how hard the separation is going to be!! Well, we got mom and dad signed up to Facebook and we plan on sharing photo's and updates via fb with each other. What a great way to keep in touch! Off topic, but we're going to get web cam's too so they can see the grand baby live once he/she arrives. Some could start a whole topic about how web cams are relationship breakers, but again, it's how you chose to use it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poloplayer Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 My main beef with facebook is just its incredible self-absorption. It can basically be summed up as hundreds of millions of people in unison going "HEY!!! LOOK AT MEE!!!!" I agree. I don't have either facebook or myspace, and have turned down numerous facebook invites in the past. With most people, it's too much of trying to out do each other, and look how awesome my life is...online. The reality is much the opposite. I see an argument to keep in touch with friends, so I have no issues with that - set it to private. Networking arguments are a load of BS. Unless you are an actor, musician, politician, etc., then any individual who has a prominent position and can take you places is not hanging around these sites. Meeting someone who talks up there success at some firm is hogwash, when they are probably just working the mail room at this place and have no clout whatsoever. Successful people are busy people, and they have no time nor need to boast online. Now, if I was still in high school, then I would have used it. I was too into the high school thing and too into showing everyone how cool I am. I grew out of it by my senior year in college and find it lame now. Also, the absolute first thing my firm does upon receiving a resume is check them under facebook and myspace. We have refused many interviews due to what we find on these sites. Absolutely anything inappropriate is grounds for no interview - your personal life is your personal life, but is a candid reflection of you. I do have friends who use both, and sometimes I check out there profiles. Then I'll call them and ask about the businesses they supposedly own or all the really cool stuff I read online...doesn't exist. But they are my friends, so I don't hold it against them. Still think they're being lame though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine311 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 You actually make some really good points here. I see people who have over 300 friends and it just makes me roll my eyes. As if you have 300 friends. These people make it a popularity contest and add pretty much everyone they've ever said 'hi' to in their whole life. Plus, my husband has a cousin who we laugh at all the time. He's always boasting about things in his Status and tries to make himself sound so important and cool. but honestly, these things don't bother me, they just make me laugh. And ohhh.....good point about employers checking out sites. Lesson to everyone to make sure your privacy settings are turned on!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poloplayer Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 we laugh at all the time. He's always boasting about things in his Status and tries to make himself sound so important and cool. but honestly, these things don't bother me, they just make me laugh. I have an old friend who's myspace says he has two business ventures. One of the businesses is his brothers, and he is an employee. The other business is his dads, and he is an employee there as well. I just laugh because I know what the truth is, but of course, he is listed as the owner and every photo on there is of him and some other girl. I know he puts up the best pictures of him with the most attractive girls, regardless of who the girl is - it may have been a pose with someone's wife, but all you see is this guy with a good looking girl here. But then I thought about it. Let's say you just met someone, and track down there myspace or facebook, and your read all this great stuff about them which is really just horse manure. How is that getting any sort of relationship (platonic or romantic) off to the right start? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maverick554 Posted February 6, 2010 Share Posted February 6, 2010 What I hate about facebook when it comes to relationships is that it allows the opportunity for these douche guys to constantly comment on my gf's wall and status. One in particular comments nonstop on her profile. I know its just facebook and its nothing serious and my gf never posts anything on his profile, but its frustrating none the less. I would never get mad at my gf or say anything to her about it because I trust her and to do so would just come off as paranoid/controlling, and it would also just cause tension between us, which is probably exactly what the guy wants. I just hate the easy vessel of communication that FB provides for these random douches, and that it easily allows an excuse for "communication with no reason." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
don414 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 My girlfriend doesn't have any pictures of me or us on her photos. She only put up a cartoon picture as her only pic, but I'm starting to question it because we've been together for so long. When I questioned her she said she was only on it for the games. I don't know, she has so many people as friends and I'm also wondering why she has friends on there then. Should I be questioning her about it? All I know is, I don't want to be a fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
don414 Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 I know what you mean, but I tried not saying anything and it killed me inside and ate me up. Plus, I always want to communicate my feelings to her and for her to do the same. I don't think she would cheat, but you never know and it makes me feel like shes ashamed of me. (Not that I'm hideous or anything) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unreasonable Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Well, I think facebook is an excellent tool to find and rekindle connections with people that perhaps shouldn't be reconnecting with, all under the pretense of an innocent and normal "get with the times" activity. Friendly chats start, old feelings start resurfacing, one thing leads to another, and it is incredibly easy to facilitate cheating with this tool. Do I think it has been instrumental in breaking up relationships that otherwise would be intact if it was not there? Absolutely. You can't just say they would use other outlets because there are no other outlets that society looks as socially acceptable. If you just get on the phone out of nowhere and start dialing an ex and talking to them all the time, that's going to raise some eyebrows. Same thing with arranging "just friends" dates like going out for coffee. But Facebook? No, nothing wrong with that at all. Exes aren't exes for a reason with Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted August 11, 2010 Share Posted August 11, 2010 My main beef with facebook is just its incredible self-absorption. It can basically be summed up as hundreds of millions of people in unison going "HEY!!! LOOK AT MEE!!!!" hahaha, i share your beef, thats why I decided to deactivate my account..got sick of it all... I feel that some people use it for self approval , to massage their ego's, to feel accepted by people etc.. I don't want to see pictures of people fumbling over themselves in the dark because they've had too much too drink in the coolest club..I don't care! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidania Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I use Facebook to keep in touch with my friends and classmates at college. We go over assignments, test dates, that kind of thing. I keep my relationship off of Facebook completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgirl Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 My bf and I don't ever plan on joining facebook. Really, WAY too much drama that I don't need in my life! I have seen it cause so many problems between couples. People can say all they want that it's not facebook that causes the problems, but it wouldn't be happening if you couldnt be in contact with all your exes and pretty much everyone you have ever met in your life. No thanks! Yay, good attitude... Good for you! I've had nothing but bad experiences on it and friends who have become obsessed and rarely leave the house or call anymore. It's pathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melting Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 My ex of 6yrs spent every night on FB talking to an old female school friend. After 6mths of feeling neglected I told him to pack his bags. He packed them up and guess who he is with now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ut804 Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 I dated my ex for 3 months. When we made the relationship "official" I changed my relationship status to "in a relationship." He left his blank during the whole 3 months. It made me feel stupid because everyone knew he had FB and wondered why I didn't have his name written next to "in a relationship with." He would also flirt with girls on there and talk to girls all night long and yet not ever call or talk to me. I felt like he was keeping me a secret. I felt insecure that he would break up with me and that's why he never bothered to put down that he's in a relationship. It hurt me so much. Sure enough, he broke up with me. Now I know it's a ig red flag if a guy doesn't show his status when in a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshinebells Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I use Facebook every day, mainly for staying in touch with people as I have lots of friends in different countries, but I have to say, I really dislike several things about it, the first being as many people have said above, it really should change its name to 'boastbook'. People go on there and update their status purely for attention, either to go on about how wonderful their life is (it's probably themselves they need to convince, not other people), or to moan and whinge about people without saying it to their faces (you know, the "I hate it when people do xxxx" type updates), or to get sympathy. I know one girl who posted about four times when her cat died, detailing her journey to the vet to have the poor animal put to sleep and everything...and I thought...if you're that upset about your cat, why don't you spend some time with it before it dies rather than posting on here!! I also know people who post deliberately-posed profile photos, and then revel in everyone commenting underneath it about how gorgeous they look. Sorry that was a bit off-topic of relationships. In those terms I agree with everyone on here who has said that if people are going to cheat, then they will do it with or without FB, but I do think FB provides more opportunities. I also hate the fact that if you've broken up with someone who has a FB profile, and they are dating someone else, their new GF keeps blithering on about how happy they are for the world to see (ok so you can block it, but it's so hard not to take a peek...lol). Before FB nobody knew what anyone was up to on a daily basis. The other problem is that it causes arguments in families...just silly stuff like last year I made up an excuse to get out of a family BBQ and then had friends round that night instead...and of course some of my friends posted the photos and my family saw them...which ended up with my neice deleting me...all over a bloody BBQ for god's sake! Why oh why can't FB have an 'approve' button for when someone tags you in a photo, so that you have to agree to it before the tag appears and incriminates you. Also I have a lot of work colleagues on my FB and I don't particularly want them to see photos of me on drunken nights out...and it's not that easy to change your privacy settings to block certain people from seeing tagged photos...I know it's possible, but they could make it a simpler process I think...so it would help if photos weren't tagged without the person's approval in the first place. Anyway, FB rant over! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerlinScot Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 I use Facebook every day, mainly for staying in touch with people as I have lots of friends in different countries, Sorry but that's not true. I live abroad, my family lives in another country and I've friends all over the world who... use skype and emails. The use of Facebook ruined 2 of my friendships and one of my relationships. And when I deleted my account (not deactivated! ) I sent a message to all my friends. The ones who really cared about me for real downloaded skype and signed up for it. The others were acquaintances and not worth to keep in touch with them. I even wrote an article about it, if someone wants to have a look link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Facebook doesn't ruin relationships. People do. If he's flirting on FB, he's probably doing it in real life. If you weren't insecure over his posts, you'd find something else to worry about. I've blocked "bad" exes no problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishguy1125 Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 I've been with my girlfriend for six months and we still aren't on facebook, it really doesn't matter, to us it's "our" relationship and it's our personal life and there is no need to flaunt it or put who we are in a relationship with, the people who know us best know we are together, facebook tells people you don't know very well who you are dating, it's a bit petty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glowguy Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Facebook doesn't ruin relationships. People do. If he's flirting on FB, he's probably doing it in real life. If you weren't insecure over his posts, you'd find something else to worry about. I've blocked "bad" exes no problem. I agree 100%. How can FB ruin a relationship? That's ridiculous. I think there are much better uses of time, but hey if my partner loves it then who am I to judge? Pay attention to the warning signs! If they use FB in a shady way then they aren't relationship material. If FB wasn't around then they would be using something else instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneroad Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 My ex who I was with was on facebook and he told me he never used it so there was no point adding him. Well it turns out the whole time he was dating me he was still with his ex... no wonder he never wanted me to add him! Sure enough I later found out his so called ex was his friend on facebook... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjrocks Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 woohoo facebook scores another seperation..thats 20 percent of devorcies and mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xiRoCb294 Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 facebook does ruin insecure people. my boyfriend doesn't like our relationship to be posted on facebook, and i used to not to able to understand why. Some people are just more private like that, and others are more open about their personal lives. It doesn't mean that he cares for me any less... all of our friends and family know that we're dating but he's just a more private person, and I've come to respect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
siktomystomach Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I'm a facebook user and I use it mostly for work. I dont get into the flirty thing on there or anything, not saying that I havent, but while single. The bottom line of it is, if youre in a good relationship, youll be fine but there is a "but"....It is an avenue for someone who's a slight bit curious in a relationship to possibly head down the wrong road. That bad temptation does lurk on there especially if contacted by a past flame out of the blue or what not. I know of a few situations where couples split because of that reason, but again, its all in what the person does with it once confronted. I do not like the aftermath of posting relationship changes. I waited a month to change my status after I broke up with my girlfriend after she cheated on me because I didnt want hit on and didnt want people asking me what happened. Then when I got engaged to my ex gf's very good friend awhile after, it completely shocked everybody and once again the onslaught of messages started, in which I never responded to anyone...Personally, I would prefer it didnt exist, but its not that big of a deal. I wish the settings were a little better as far as privacy is concerned..I mean, if you wanna showboat and have 12000 cleavage pics or take pictures of your shirt off flexing in the bathroom mirror, so be it. But if you want it to be way more private, you can adjust it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyNinja Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Omg.......I'm so glad I stay far away from facebook. I'm so glad I don't use that network knowing all the drama that goes down. It's ridiculous. Yeah, no thank you, I rather stay in the real world, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 My cousins' dad just died. So, the male cousin is posting all over his wall about his new EXPENSIVE purchases, upgrades, etc., etc. This guy hasn't shared a bit of their father's money with his sister. The sister's daughter and I were noticing that, and she says she hasn't told her mom about all his bragging. She believes he was hoarding the dad's money all this time his mind was going bad, a few years now. Interesting. Between Facebook, Twitter and Topix, it's a whole new world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.