ATLstudent Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Today I'm beaten down, stuck in my head my eyes can only see whats in front of me of whats been before, theres no future in sight or at least not one worth living for. I've got a pile of S!@# blocking out light love or anything worth fighting for, and its all inside my head. All these things in my life bringing me down are crippling me, and keeping me from breaking through them, im broken down, beat up, and seeing a pretty dark decision ahead of me. Just as easy as putting on a smile has been in the past, thinking about putting an entire bottle of pills in my stomach is starting to become my neutral state of mind, the base where ultimately my life always takes me back to, there are moments of total disconnection with who i am, moments where i can feel love, seek pleasure, and know that everything is ok, but there are just moments, just departures from reality, perceptions and meaning you find when on vacation. At the bottom of it all, im not happy, im not okay, im not going live very long. I know that this is how i feel, and i know at the end of the day everyday, until i drastically change my life as i know it, I will always come back to the realization that killing myself is inevitable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r3drobin Posted June 9, 2008 Share Posted June 9, 2008 Please get help, you need outside professional help immediately. Please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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