am i not over him or just lonely?

[misstb]

I do believe I/Youall of us will get through and find better, the rejection has nearly killed me, I acquired a severe eating disorder in the past three months, so severely dehydrated could have died! I can't believe it, I didnt realize what I was doing to myself.

 

I am/was a strong, attractive, successful HEALTHY woman (38) until this. I am getting healthy now, but I have a strong fear that no one will measure uo to him! Although he dumped me, I suppose i DON"T find anyone to measure up!

 

At least I know I am not nuts and there are others who feel the same! Thank god!

 

I may not like where I am right now, but it's a hell of alot better than where I was!

[missHoenikker]

I do believe I/Youall of us will get through and find better, the rejection has nearly killed me, I acquired a severe eating disorder in the past three months, so severely dehydrated could have died! I can't believe it, I didnt realize what I was doing to myself.

 

I am/was a strong, attractive, successful HEALTHY woman (38) until this. I am getting healthy now, but I have a strong fear that no one will measure uo to him! Although he dumped me, I suppose i DON"T find anyone to measure up!

 

At least I know I am not nuts and there are others who feel the same! Thank god!

 

I may not like where I am right now, but it's a hell of alot better than where I was!

 

and you'll keep getting better, be sure of that. we all have relapses and may feel like we're back to square one sometimes, but just know that that's all part of the process of healing and that it doesn't happen on a linear scale. we're not nuts and if a man/woman makes us feel that way, then he/she is definitely not the right person for us.

 

a big hug for you

[misstb]

and you'll keep getting better, be sure of that. we all have relapses and may feel like we're back to square one sometimes, but just know that that's all part of the process of healing and that it doesn't happen on a linear scale. we're not nuts and if a man/woman makes us feel that way, then he/she is definitely not the right person for us.

 

a big hug for you

 

Thank you and hugs to all of you!

 

I imagine that we are all supposed to be learning something from these experiences, i know i have learned alot about myself through this pain and i need to acknowledge it, be grateful for it and move forawrd, It is strange to see how people can literally shake us to our core and we are left trying to figure out why and how? confused and lost.

 

It is so sad to hear the heartbreak here but so comforting to know that there are truly some amazing people here that listen, understand and help others in need and THAT in itself is a sure way of knowing that we are all going to be ok, people are kind and loving and there truly is hope.

 

Thank you

[renaissancewoman101]

I feel lonely a lot. But I also like being alone too.

 

It's those times when things go wrong with me, or things go really well with me, and I don't have someone to share it with, that it bothers me the most.

 

I want to share my life with someone.

 

But I'm also afraid to do it, because what if I do find someone, and it ends again with a breakup. To go through the gut-wrenching hurt really kills.

[Litgirl01]

I feel lonely a lot. But I also like being alone too.

 

It's those times when things go wrong with me, or things go really well with me, and I don't have someone to share it with, that it bothers me the most.

 

I want to share my life with someone.

 

But I'm also afraid to do it, because what if I do find someone, and it ends again with a breakup. To go through the gut-wrenching hurt really kills.

 

I know what you mean Ren...I feel the same way! You have us to share with though! ;-)

[renaissancewoman101]

I know what you mean Ren...I feel the same way! You have us to share with though! ;-)

 

true. I hope you're doing ok too.

 

Getting over someone, esp someone you once loved dearly, is very hard and takes a lot of time.

[dreamwarrior]

Dreamwarrior, how do you force yourself to move on so quickly? I find that hard to do. I tend to ruminate on why people leave me.

 

Dear Renaissancewoman,

 

Regarding your above question about moving on so quickly...there are various reasons.

 

For starters my friend we only have a limited amount of time on this planet so there is no use in wasting our precious time.

 

I never want to sound like I am coming off harsh with no feelings, believe me that is not the case. I too have some wonderful, wonderful memories of my ex, or I will see/hear something that reminds me of him. He is the only man I ever loved, but he was emotionally strong like I am. BTW he is in my picture profile so you can see who I am referring to. He had so many problems emotionally that I found draining.

 

When I remember good times with him I smile and miss it, but in the same moment right after I remember the nightmare what it's like to live with a drug addict. He was horrible to himself...someone who doesn't love themself cannot truly love you.

 

The pain he suffered I could see it in his eyes...he is a tortured man...I truly hope he finds himself and gets well. He will remain in a part of my heart until my last breath, but I deserve to be happy too.

 

We all get wrapped up in our misery, or problems, and worry over our SO and it does nothing but steal what short lives we have on earth.

 

For instance, if you go to the doctor tomorrow and he/she tells you that you only have a short while to live, what do you think you will be concentrating on at that moment? Are you going to be worrying over how wrong your ex treated you? Or you going to be thinking about living and surviving?

 

When I feel down I find something to do with my time and fast. I love to help other people. Since it's night here I might go get me a health snack in a moment and something to drink, work on my finances, read, do push ups/or sit-ups. As for tomorrow I will get my cup of coffee, get spruced up, go pick up my new stereo from UPS, go eat my plate of oysters, pick up some paint for my car, go look at some costume jewelry, go to my karate lessons, and perhaps look up a place where me and my co-worker can go for belly dancing classes.

 

Best thing to do when you feel low about your ex is to think of the times he treated you bad, did something you didn't like, said unkind words to you. I am not an advocate on negativity, since I believe in Buddhism, but you have to be the one to decide what is the best method for you.

 

Personally, I just let it go, NC for sure is a very very good way to get over someone, and just try hard to find peace in yourself. Make a list of things that you love about yourself, and a list of things perhaps you would like to accomplish. Start doing them right away no delays. Believe in yourself, seek out your dreams, fulfill your goals...let nothing stand in your way ever!

 

And, do no dwell on what is past...start a new chapter...I understand how we can think there is no one else out there for us, but my friend keep in mind this is a big world with so many roads to travel...just don't travel in one direction...take a turn and perhaps you might find something new!!