JadedStar Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 What are the signs that another guy has GRABBED a girl's interest? My situation is I went out on 2 dates with the girl and since her return back on the 19th, she has not called me, or emailed me first. Can this be a sign of another guy who is SMOOTHER stepping into the pic and grabbing her interest? That is possible right? I mean it may not be intentional but isn't it possible to forget about a person if some other guy is saying and doing all the right things?, Brutal truth is YES it can happen. We can't tell you if it did, but yes, likely. On those dating sites there are many guys vying for a gal's attention, and yes it can happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 Brutal truth is YES it can happen. We can't tell you if it did, but yes, likely. On those dating sites there are many guys vying for a gal's attention, and yes it can happen. So from this situation does that what it sound like? 1. No phone call from her at all since she has been back 2. No email from her FIRST since she has been back 3. No return call since Tuesday when it was discussed in email she feel asleep after talking to her mom which is why I didn't hear from her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wurth_skidder Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 But i need you to step away from your current successful situation and understand that I have not had success with a girl in 8 years. So tell me what you did with this current girl to make it go well so far?? Do u contact her everyday in some form? I asked her out, we went on one date that lasted five and a half hours, and she suggested we go out again this weekend without me saying a word. No, I don't talk to her everyday. I don't NEED to talk to her everyday. That's the key. I'm going to call her tomorrow night and ask her to join me for dinner Saturday night. I have gone through what you're going through. I went four years without having a good first date, actually had one end with me shaking the girl's hand... Then I met someone and got engaged last year, had that fall through, and realized I've been going about things all wrong my whole life. I let other people make me happy and worried that the reason things didn't work out with girls is because there was something wrong with me. I got counseling a year ago and reconciled my issues. Figured out how to be happy without caring what people around me think. Does it still hurt me when things don't work out? Yes. Do I still blame myself for my failures? Initially, yes. But I get over it. Everyday, I remind myself that I like myself and it doesn't matter what other people think. And since I figured that out, I've had girls give me more compliments than I'd ever had before that. The greatest part of receiving those compliments is that I no longer feel I NEED them. You really have to find a way to reach that same conclusion because until you like yourself, girls won't either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 Yeah I wasnt sure if I had to contact a girl atleast once everyday so that I can keep her interested. My other mistake was not realizing the purpose of having her number was to set up a date, not talk on the phone for 3 or 4 weeks. I did that with 3 girls and of course the interest decreased because of the amount of time we chatted without meeting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wurth_skidder Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I'm going to private message you some secrets to dating success Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addiemay05 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Ok, Yes it's sort of possible, but if she really likes you then she would be calling you and not forgetting about you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amure Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Ok CD brutal truth is this...you stress way too much!!!! you work yourself up so much and you overanalyze everything a girl is bound to pick up on that....you need to get some confidence in yourself and RELAX and let things happen... the above statment is spot on imo. the whole point of being/acting SMOOTH is to be chilled and relaxed about everything. good luck dude xd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ftheunion Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 well girls change day by day week by week. brutal truth is that loyalty is not what you would hope. I got two dead ends stuck in friend zone where they only contact me if I do first. It means they have little interest. You are not what she desires anymore. Happens all the time trust me. She got to know you and guess ur not her type. Confidence is hard when ur confused like this so just gotta let it go and seek elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 there is nothing you can do. you contacted her last. she will contact you if she is interested. usually, girls contact me back quickly. CAUSE THEY ARE INTERESTED. stop pining and looking like an obsessive stalker. isn't this like the 6th thread about this girl? at least... geez CD, u worry me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 there is nothing you can do. you contacted her last. she will contact you if she is interested. usually, girls contact me back quickly. CAUSE THEY ARE INTERESTED. stop pining and looking like an obsessive stalker. isn't this like the 6th thread about this girl? at least... geez CD, u worry me. I just want to get better at dating ghost. Sick of being a failure and sitting home alone in my underwear on a beautiful friday night in May when i should be out with a girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 you are to hard on yourself. this makes you do wacky things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dream83 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I just want to get better at dating ghost. Sick of being a failure and sitting home alone in my underwear on a beautiful friday night in May when i should be out with a girl TMI...I hope that details like these aren't entering into your conversations with women. If so, that could be a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drewciouS281 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Your being way to pushy with this whole scenario CD. All your focusing on is going out with a chick this, going out with a chick that. There are lots of things you need to fix after taking a beating like you say. Each of my relationships that hurt me dropped my confidence. I spent alone time with myself and some out time with my friends and learned confidence on my own. anyone can be confident just by waking up, going for a run, gettin dressed up and lookin in the mirror sayin "damn i look good today" but you keep whining about how you want a girl and you have no confidence. YOU WILL NEVER GAIN ANY WITH THAT ATTITUDE! alot of things are a state of mind. You keep a negative state of mind you will fail and people will see it. You keep a positive one and people will see that aswell and wanna be a part of it. Just play it cool with this girl and not worry so much cause she may have picked that up and you ruined it. I recently scared a girl away by being a tad pushy which i never do but it was cause the dating scene is old for me but when i came too i realized it was for the better cause i didnt really have much in common with her and you move on with your head held high! that easy! i saw how you attacked Kruiks on her comment about confidence and you replied you have nothing to be confident for. It doesnt work like that man! You have to be confident with yourself otherwise there is no way in hell you will with anyone else.. Maybe you still need more healing time cause in my opinion, your not ready still. Hit the gym, pick up a sport. Do stuff to boost your self esteem! its freakin easy man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servedcold Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I just want to get better at dating ghost. Sick of being a failure and sitting home alone in my underwear on a beautiful friday night in May when i should be out with a girl When you can get to the point where the above sounds like a totally fine idea, and you don't have a pressing "need" to get a date, you will find getting a date much easier. Sounds fishy, but it's true. You are on the right track, CD, don't get discouraged. If you are only relying on internet to meet, this is not the way to go though, and may be a big part of the problem. Get out and talk to women, talk to old ones young ones (not too young though), short, tall, fat, skinny, with NO EXPECTATIONS. Just talk to them. Don't ask them out at first, but do flirt politely. Flirt with every woman you talk to outside of work. The hard truth is that it takes time and effort, it's like learning to play an instrument or learning a language. At this point, I'd suggest dropping the net dating until you get comfortable having and leading conversations with women out and about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 Well it's not in me to walk up and strike conversations with strangers i the street so I basically rely on meeting women through telephone and internet dating services. Some guys can do it and some guys can't Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servedcold Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Well it's not in me to walk up and strike conversations with strangers i the street so I basically rely on meeting women through telephone and internet dating services. Some guys can do it and some guys can't It doesn't have to be strangers in the street. I've read most of your threads here, and IMO, before you will be happy in dating, you will need to spend some time and effort developing your social outlets generally. You can do this in local clubs, church, library groups, volunteer charities, any number of things. There's nothing wrong at all with being alone, if that's what you really want, but you say you want female companionship, and the first step in this process is getting some basic social interactions working. Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 I don't understand..you say she has not called or emailed you "first"...but does she respond to your attempts at communication? Have you asked her out again? I was going to do it over the phone. The 2nd was set up by email and this time I wanted to do it over the phone but she was not available. So no I didn't ask her out because I like if I have to be making this much effort to get in touch with some girl, it's no point in me taking money out of my account to treat her to dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I was going to do it over the phone. The 2nd was set up by email and this time I wanted to do it over the phone but she was not available. So no I didn't ask her out because I like if I have to be making this much effort to get in touch with some girl, it's no point in me taking money out of my account to treat her to dinner. You should have just called back and asked her out...or leave a message about doing something together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 You should have just called back and asked her out...or leave a message about doing something together. i agree but in order to spend my money on you i need to feel u are making an effort to get in touch with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 i agree but in order to spend my money on you i need to feel u are making an effort to get in touch with me. Well, maybe she is not contacting you because you didn't make it clear that you actually wanted to go out with her again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 wow man. you act like your money is the only thing that is key here. :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 wow man. you act like your money is the only thing that is key here. :S Why wouldn;t it be? I worked for it and I'm not about to spend it in a stupid way like treating a girl who doesn't contact me unless i contact her. I think I may go into safe adult fun activities for a while so I can learn a little more about dating and start back at it again in July Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Why wouldn;t it be? I worked for it and I'm not about to spend it in a stupid way like treating a girl who doesn't contact me unless i contact her. I think I may go into safe adult fun activities for a while so I can learn a little more about dating and start back at it again in July wow. uhhmmm, yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmantra Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 you've only gone out on two dates with this girl and you're investing so much thought and energy into her? pffffffftttt!! since this girl seems to be dropping hints that she may not be interested, why don't you find other women online to date? Their are axproximately 3 billion females in this world? Why fret over one. Dating is about numbers, the more people you date, the more likely you'll find "the one". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 30, 2008 Author Share Posted May 30, 2008 you've only gone out on two dates with this girl and you're investing so much thought and energy into her? pffffffftttt!! since this girl seems to be dropping hints that she may not be interested, why don't you find other women online to date? Their are axproximately 3 billion females in this world? Why fret over one. Dating is about numbers, the more people you date, the more likely you'll find "the one". I know that but once I can get ONE girl to be interested in seeing me over and over, I will be more relaxed and confident on dates with other woman. So I still need that one girl to help me do better with others Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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