Any childfree people?

[shes2smart]

Started figuring out at 15 that I was not "mommy material."

 

At 27, was diagnosed with PCOS. Surprised the doc when I greeted the news that I'm pretty much infertile with a smile, a laugh, and a "hallellujah!" Better for me to be infertile than a woman who desperately wants children.

 

Haven't heard a single "tick" out of my biological clock. I'm starting to think it's a myth. See my friends having kids (from babies up to young adults) and nearly every encounter with them or story from their parents gives me at least one more reason to add to my personal list of "Why I'm Happy I Don't Have Children." The latest one was a friend's young adult daughter getting into some serious trouble with the law. She got herself in trouble and went running to mommy and daddy to fix it...and now they're stuck with posting bail and lawyer bills. No thanks.

 

I can handle other people's kids in limited doses...as long as they're reasonably well-behaved. So that means "infrequently...for short periods of time."

 

I realize some people love kids and find being a parent very rewarding. That's cool. But I don't...and I wouldn't. As much they get some sort of pat on the back/recognition for being "a good parent," I wouldn't mind the occasional high-five for not subjecting any child to me as a parent as well.

 

It's good that people have differing views on the topic, else the human race would be doomed.

 

But I still think there's money to be made by having "kids" and "no kids" seating sections in restaurants.

[jengh]

I dont think you can be sterilized if you havent had a child yet.

thats what i heard anyway. i thought about doing that too when i was.... 17.. 16..

but everyone told me they wont do it unless you have had kids or its lifethreatening.

 

I think that's BS, too. It should be soley up to the woman. It is, afterall, her body.

[jengh]

But I still think there's money to be made by having "kids" and "no kids" seating sections in restaurants.

 

I know, right? It drives me absolutely up the wall.

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

But I still think there's money to be made by having "kids" and "no kids" seating sections in restaurants.

 

 

I agree with that. But then again even though I have a child he is extremely well behaved when we go into public especially restaurants and it bugs me to see kids acting up and being stupid (especially kids who are old enough to know better) I just want to smack some parents who allow their kids to run wild in public places.

[hers]

My thoughts exactly on all of this! It's not just the baby part I'm worried about. It's even the teenage years, the adult years, what mistakes they'll make, how will I have to help, will they get pregnant at a young age no matter how hard I try to prevent it? So many things!

 

Even when I was a kid, I remember thinking "I don't want to have babies, but if my husband wants them, I'll adopt!" So many kids out there need homes, and I wouldn't feel right contributing to that, just like with the animal overpopulation. I'm always happy for people who become pregnant and are happy about it, but for me, if I were to become pregnant, I'd panic.

[jengh]

I have a few pregnant friends and friends who have just had kids.... The thought of being pregnant for that long is such a huge turn off for me. Hearing all of the crap that they have to go through, about the labor, the morning sickness, all of it in general... ugh. so not worth it for me.

[EQD]

No, you can become sterilized without having had a child first. I know many other childfree women who have had it. There's a relatively new procedure out there called Essure that is like a tubaligation but non-surgical and safe and practical. My doctor just won't sterilize me b/c I'm under 30 and unmarried and i could "change my mind". I can respect that, so I'm waiting.

 

*star shines accross top of head*

the more you know heehee.

i guess.. the one thing i would be afraid of would be getting sterilized and then meeting the love of your life and/or having baby urges.

thats the only reason i dont want to do it anymore. we dont know where we will be or how we will feel a month from now, much less years and years from now. its a hard decision to make, and not one you can take back.

[Mythical_Suicide]

It can be reversed. It's rather expensive and some complications can arise but if you do infact have it done and want children later on it's possible to still conceive.

 

But that's one of the biggest reasons doctors won't do it before a certain age, incase you change your mind.

[hers]

*star shines accross top of head*

the more you know heehee.

i guess.. the one thing i would be afraid of would be getting sterilized and then meeting the love of your life and/or having baby urges.

thats the only reason i dont want to do it anymore. we dont know where we will be or how we will feel a month from now, much less years and years from now. its a hard decision to make, and not one you can take back.

 

Which is why I didn't argue with my doctor when he said he woudln't sterilize me at this age. I change my mind often. I was atheist for years and years and all the sudden, here I am praying to a higher power I never thought I'd be praying to. Who's to say i woudln't do that with kids? But I will admit as an atheist, I knew it may not be for me forever, but with kids, the list grows more and more each day for not having them.

 

People always say "You'll want kids when you meet the right guy". My right guy WONT want kids.

[Lana0120]

You wanted to have children, you don't want to have children now at 25... who knows, you could change your mind again at 30, 35, 40. You may feel that something in you has changed in a person and makes you feel that you could have children. I know of people who are your age and who didn't want children and changed their minds several years later. Additionally, I don't believe that just because someone has had a messed up childhood means that they are automatically going to treat their children the same way. I think it's especially unlikely in your case as you're acutely aware of this. I know you're looking to hear from people who feel similarly to you, but to me it seems that sterilisation is extreme. You don't know what tomorrow holds.

[EQD]

all i said is 'you never know' that is profound in so many ways.

i am not saying 'omg woman are you mad!? dont do it!'

not at all. do as you please.

But remember... life is an amazing thing. why limit yourself? but i'm just that type of person, i dont like closed doors anymore..

[Mythical_Suicide]

You wanted to have children, you don't want to have children now at 25... who knows, you could change your mind again at 30, 35, 40. You may feel that something in you has changed in a person and makes you feel that you could have children. I know of people who are your age and who didn't want children and changed their minds several years later. Additionally, I don't believe that just because someone has had a messed up childhood means that they are automatically going to treat their children the same way. I think it's especially unlikely in your case as you're acutely aware of this. I know you're looking to hear from people who feel similarly to you, but to me it seems that sterilisation is extreme. You don't know what tomorrow holds.

 

She's already stated she knows this and was just looking for others who are in the same mind.

[hers]

all i said is 'you never know' that is profound in so many ways.

i am not saying 'omg woman are you mad!? dont do it!'

not at all. do as you please.

But remember... life is an amazing thing. why limit yourself? but i'm just that type of person, i dont like closed doors anymore..

 

Oh I know it! I was agreeing with you!

[hers]

You wanted to have children, you don't want to have children now at 25... who knows, you could change your mind again at 30, 35, 40. You may feel that something in you has changed in a person and makes you feel that you could have children. I know of people who are your age and who didn't want children and changed their minds several years later. Additionally, I don't believe that just because someone has had a messed up childhood means that they are automatically going to treat their children the same way. I think it's especially unlikely in your case as you're acutely aware of this. I know you're looking to hear from people who feel similarly to you, but to me it seems that sterilisation is extreme. You don't know what tomorrow holds.

 

As I stated in my original posts, I'm not looking for anyone to tell me this, as this is something I already know. I'm not looking for advice, just for like-minded people. Thanks.

[Nixee]

No, you can become sterilized without having had a child first. I know many other childfree women who have had it. There's a relatively new procedure out there called Essure that is like a tubaligation but non-surgical and safe and practical. My doctor just won't sterilize me b/c I'm under 30 and unmarried and i could "change my mind". I can respect that, so I'm waiting.

 

I do think the "change your mind" thing is a perfectly valid point though, in defense of your doctor though, and the kinds of things they have to deal with.

 

My best friend used to say that she didn't want to have kids ever, and that was in her early-mid twenties. Then she met and married her husband, who happens to make her very happy... then she got a job working with kids, which makes her very happy.... and gradually, she started saying things to me like "maybe I'll have just one someday...." .... Now she talks about really wanting a couple. It downright freaks me out ...

 

Of course, I am not saying you, or anyone in this thread will have a change of heart... but it does happen, so I can understand why doctors wait, and take measures to protect themselves.

[hers]

I do think the "change your mind" thing is a perfectly valid point though, in defense of your doctor though, and the kinds of things they have to deal with.

 

My best friend used to say that she didn't want to have kids ever, and that was in her early-mid twenties. Then she met and married her husband, who happens to make her very happy... then she got a job working with kids, which makes her very happy.... and gradually, she started saying things to me like "maybe I'll have just one someday...." .... Now she talks about really wanting a couple. It downright freaks me out ...

 

Of course, I am not saying you, or anyone in this thread will have a change of heart... but it does happen, so I can understand why doctors wait, and take measures to protect themselves.

 

Yeah, that's why I didn't argue with him. He told me he used to sterilize women at any age, and then they'd come back to him years later and wanted it reversed b/c they changed their minds. For my doctor's sake and for the sake of my body, I didn't argue it and asked for a birth control that would be almost like sterilizing me!

[EQD]

I didn't argue it and asked for a birth control that would be almost like sterilizing me!

 

oh god.. you arent talking about the Depo are you???

[Penny_Lane]

I don't want kids, I can't even remember a time when I ever did. I was never maternal, as a child I'd never even play with toy babies, my mom said I'd throw them away. When I was around 12 or 13 I started to get really uncomfortable just at the thought of being pregnant, I found it deeply disturbing and it made me feel unlike myself. There's always adoption but I don't want that either, kids are a huge responsibility and commitment, they are like a whole other job, come home from your current job to do more work. No thanks, I know I may sound selfish but I don't think I am, I'm just so in love with the world, I love feeling free, being able to go wherever I want and not have to worry about anything. I love travelling, that's all I really do, work and travel and I love that, I feel like the world is mine.

 

I still respect all the parents though, being a mom or dad is probably one of the toughest jobs out there, I tell my mom she's Superwoman, I don't know how she ever managed to do it all but I love her for it. And I don't mind being around kids, I love their purity and innocence, and believe it or not, I'm pretty good with them, most seem to like me, hehe.

 

Oh and to add one more thing, I haven't been with too many men but the ones I have been with all seem to want kids, even all of my guy friends want kids. They usually say they want to pass down the line, leave their mark, give a meaning to life, etc. So ya, I haven't met many men that don't eventually want kids.

[hers]

Nope, Implanon! link removed I think is the site. It's a matchstick sized thing implanted in the arm that's good for 3 years. I've had no side effects whatsoever, my sex drive is still there, and I've had one period since August of last year!

[hers]

Amazing post. I agree completely. Parenting is such a hard thing, even for the best of parents, and I respect the ones who really do try to do the right thing with their kids.

[Penny_Lane]

Amazing post. I agree completely. Parenting is such a hard thing, even for the best of parents, and I respect the ones who really do try to do the right thing with their kids.

 

Thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. And ya, mad respect to the good parents out there, the ones who manage to do it all, they're like our modern day superheroes.

[EQD]

OH thank jesus. i started to worry.

as a kid.. up until the age of.. say 19. i always had bad thoughts about little kids, i never grew up around any, they sickened me.. seriously i was very very anti-baby. very anti kids. they freaked me out and instantly made me very angry just being around me.

they still kinda weird me out.. but not as much.

anyway at around 19 my bf at the time had a friend who had a little boy about 2 or 3 who i was absolutely captivated with for some reason. i remember he was sleeping on the couch with a blanket on top of him. before me and the ex went to our room to go to bed i couldnt help but tuck him in. My ex looked at me shocked and was like "What was that about!?" i smiled, i didnt really know.

I hope to have a little EQD one day.. no time soon though.

[hers]

One of my clients has a 2 year old son who has a bit of a crush on me. Every time he sees me, he does this cute jumping thing to get my attention, and he blushes if i look at him. Then he picked flowers for me (his mother said) and wanted to give them to me. I coudln't help but think tha was so cute and sweet.

 

I used to be very anti child too, but I can recognize when one is cute or just hideous. But I don't swoon over the cute ones. I don't know how to!

[Lana0120]

As I stated in my original posts, I'm not looking for anyone to tell me this, as this is something I already know. I'm not looking for advice, just for like-minded people. Thanks.

 

 

Oh sorry, I wasn't intending what I said to be interpreted as advice - it was just my opinion.

[EQD]

i dont think it was as much he was a 'cute' child as it was... just something about them.. one thing that melted my tiny heart was this 4 or 5 year old boy, at the playground while i was walking. His mom was jogging the route coming up behind me, must have been 40 feet away, he said "Moommmmyy!!" and held his arms out, and he stayed completely that way until she got to him and gave her a hug.. it was adorable. She said "you were waiting for me?" he was like "yeah!" so he runs back to where his dad was "Hey dad! Mommy's Back Mommies Back!"

that is what i would say.. would be a nice golden moment as a parent.. right before they break things and miss the toilet when they pee.. lol