SpeedingCars Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 I have read in articles that making love is a spiritual/emotional/mental bond with your SO... while having sex is purely physical with little or no emotional attachment. I was wondering... HOW do you make love? I know it's a stupid question, but it seems when I have sex with my SO, it's satisfying but I don't feel some sort of "pure bliss" explosion where I feel a powerful bond with him... we just have intercourse when we're in the mood, then come out feeling energetic and happy with each other. But we don't have some sort of intimate conversation about our fears, dreams, hopes, etc. beforehand. We just get in the mood, start making out, then have intercourse. Is that normal? I mean, is that how it always starts out? We have deep feelings with each other, but it's nothing that you see in the movies where we feel like we're each other's soulmates and want to spend forever and eternity with each other. We just take everything day by day. (If it helps, we are both 19) I guess what I'm trying to say is, how do you initiate making love instead of "just having sex"? Do you have to have some sort of passionate/intimate conversation first? How can you differentiate between the two (making love/having sex)? Sorry if this is confusing... I don't know quite how to word it in a way that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 after making love, you should feel closer to your SO. You're worried about their enjoyment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpeedingCars Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 When you just have sex, don't you feel closer to your SO anyways?... that's why I'm confused. He's my only partner, so I don't have any comparisons or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 sex is animalistic love is all soft and sensual and bonding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine311 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 I think that maybe you have been watching too many soap opera's. Making love doesn't mean the next hour is spent in bed cooing over each other, declaring your love, and talking about dreams and the future. Making love is when you have intercourse with someone you truly love, and afterwards your connection to him feels so much stronger and more powerful. This is in opposition to say a one night stand (sex), where afterwards you're just tired, sweaty, and you go home. Sex is purely for physical pleasure where there's no emotional bond. I think when you're in a meaningful relationship it's always making love. Whether it's a quicky, a long gentle lovemaking session, or some dirty kinky sex, the connection and the bond are always very strongly felt afterward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpeedingCars Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 Sunshine311, I think I HAVE been brainwashed - watching too many sappy movies and whatnot! It's relieving to know that making love can also be "dirty and kinky"... I always felt that never qualified as making love, simply because it wasn't gentle or anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Yeah, don't worry. Making love can involve feathers and whips...haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine311 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Sunshine311, I think I HAVE been brainwashed - watching too many sappy movies and whatnot! It's relieving to know that making love can also be "dirty and kinky"... I always felt that never qualified as making love, simply because it wasn't gentle or anything. Well, some may disagree, but that's my take on it. No matter what kind of sex my husband and I have, I always feel more connected to him afterwards. Now tone down on the soaps and chick flicks! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jengh Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 ugh, i HATE the term "making love". I think it's so cheesy and corny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DropToZero Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Well...since I like dancing, this is my favorite quote to explain what I think the difference is between sex...and making love... "For someone who makes porn movies, all they are doing is having sex. No emotions, no feelings. Just actions. Just movement. And it's just two people going through the movements with no real connectivity. They move in relation TO each other. For someone who is making love, there are all the emotions, the feelings, the passion, the tenderness, the desire... and the two bodies link up as one, their breaths sync up, their heart rates, they feelings for one another. Their souls join together, for that moment in time, inseparable. They move in relation WITH each other." --- Inventfmc of course he has more to this post he made, but that's not relevant to this discussion... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amtjrtcet Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 sex is animalistic love is all soft and sensual and bonding I vote for the animal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superfreak Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 "Making love" is just what I say to proposition a girl I'm dating for sex without it seeming tawdry and without her feeling like a wh*re for agreeing to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KG Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Making love is bonding, having sex is getting your cookies crunched! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 I vote for the animal! girl after my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 hmmm. One time my gf said to me that she didn't want to have sex anymore. And I was like, ok..... if that's what you want... (all confused about why she wanted this), and then she said she wanted to make love. Then I started laughing because they're the same thing! Then she started explaining to me why they were different, but I didn't understand. After a year and a half together I think I'm starting to understand the difference, but still not so easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
15 Storeys High Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Having sex is all about the physical urges. Making love is all about the eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KG Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Having sex is all about the physical urges. Making love is all about the eyes. VERY WELL PUT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portage Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 Having sex is all about the physical urges. Making love is all about the eyes. I concur, well stated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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