Has anyone successfully gotten a guy off of World of warcraft?

[PixelPusher]

Well, have you tried playing the game? So, at least you can "share" in the addiction?

 

Eh, that's not really the point. While I agree with the thought that it is good to sometimes share hobbies, she shouldn't have to game just to spend quality time (if you can consider that quality time) together.

 

The fact is, her BF has a major compuslive/addiction issue with this game. Her joining isn't going to stop the behavior. What happens when she gets bored with it, or actually wants to go outside and DO something... and he is still there glued to the screen?

 

Same problem.

[kristenann]

I did once... but it's too virtual/ fantasy. At least when we play a video game together, it's us together on the couch competing and interacting with each other in "real life"... a couch equivalent of tennis or golf?

[novaseeker]

I did once... but it's too virtual/ fantasy.

 

Yes that is the precise attraction of it -- it isn't a diversion that takes place in real life (like playing a sports game on Wii), it's entering a virtual world and living a part of your life there. Either you think that's very cool, or you think it's very stupid. I haven't met too many people who are lukewarm about virtual worlds, though.

[ycmanvs]

Eh, that's not really the point. While I agree with the thought that it is good to sometimes share hobbies, she shouldn't have to game just to spend quality time (if you can consider that quality time) together.

 

The fact is, her BF has a major compuslive/addiction issue with this game. Her joining isn't going to stop the behavior. What happens when she gets bored with it, or actually wants to go outside and DO something... and he is still there glued to the screen?

 

Same problem.

 

I was being sarcastic, and I was trying to explain that there is NOTHING she can do to make him stop. Either join him, or leave him, or just accept him for what he is...an addict....Since the OP was asking for advice, I was trying to illustrate her options. People do not want to hear that they should give up on a relationship because the guy is an addict. I know. I stayed in my relationship for almost 4 years with an addict.

He is still playing. I left him 6 months ago. Until they hit rock bottom, nothing will happen.

[Sunshine311]

without having fully read all the other posts (so I apoligize if this has been covered), how long has he been into wow?

The reason I ask, is because maybe it's just a phase? When my husband first discovered Facebook, I couldn't get him off the computer for two weeks, but then he got bored with it and now only logs on occasionally.

Then there was NHL 2008 on the Playstation. I couldn't get him off! But that too faded and he got bored with it after a few weeks.

If this has been going on for months, then my post is way off, but from you original post where you said he recently discovered wow, that lead me to write this post under the assumption that this is a new thing.

[PixelPusher]

I was being sarcastic, and I was trying to explain that there is NOTHING she can do to make him stop. Either join him, or leave him, or just accept him for what he is...an addict....Since the OP was asking for advice, I was trying to illustrate her options. People do not want to hear that they should give up on a relationship because the guy is an addict. I know. I stayed in my relationship for almost 4 years with an addict.

He is still playing. I left him 6 months ago. Until they hit rock bottom, nothing will happen.

 

Sorry, my Intraweb Sarcasm meter is currently in the shop. :splat:

[lust4life]

I was being sarcastic, and I was trying to explain that there is NOTHING she can do to make him stop. Either join him, or leave him, or just accept him for what he is...an addict....Since the OP was asking for advice, I was trying to illustrate her options. People do not want to hear that they should give up on a relationship because the guy is an addict. I know. I stayed in my relationship for almost 4 years with an addict.

He is still playing. I left him 6 months ago. Until they hit rock bottom, nothing will happen.

 

 

I would listen to her.

I gave an ultimatum.

My boyfriend cut back significantly, but still insists on playing it. He still talks to his buddies over the phone...

 

He was on his best behavior for a bunch of months, enough for us to sign a lease and move to NC. He went down to work before I did, and I recently found out that he had lugged his desktop computer(oldest piece of junk ever) all the way to his uncle's house & played when he got off of work.

 

When I arrived in NC his computer FINALLY stopped working & it has been wonderful...to a point. Now all he talks about is what the people at the computer store said about the broken one and how he wants to use his stimulus check to buy a new one.

The problem with buying a new one? We came down here to go to school. His mom said she'd buy him a new one as soon as he is enrolled in school(fall sem). But he can't wait until then. He is free to use mine whenever he wants to, internet but no warcraft...still not good enough.

 

Just my sad, ridiculous story. :sad: And believe me I am still trying so hard, b/c like you I love him.

I'd love to say just try to work it out...but if I could have a do over, I'd take a break.

[Hockey.Chick]

Many many many replies have been posted on this thread already, but I just have to put out there that WoW is indeed an extremely difficult thing in a relationship, especially when only one person in a couple plays. I have played, well, okay, I used to play, but oddly enough, it wasn't difficult at all for me to give it up and move on to concentrate on serious matters in life. Sure, it is a very highly developed game and thus it's extremely popular and addicting, but studies have found that being addicted to WoW and playing obsessively has caused problems for couples, families, employers/ees, etc. The list goes on and on. This post of mine really doesn't give much advice, unfortunately, because I have tried and tried to come up with plausible solutions to the WoW/SO problem, and it just won't change. That's obvious. I do however, want to express that I sympathize with everyone out there who is dealing with this problem. No, this doesn't mean I'm blaming everyone that plays or their SOs that play, because they are not bad people. They are just making bad choices for choosing World of Warcraft over their loved ones. Not only does this hurt the romantic relationships, but it can take a toll on many other aspects of one's life, including family relationships, employment, finances, all of this, believe it or not. Of course this won't happen right away, but after years upon years of the addiction to WoW (which may die off a bit but not fully go away because the game is constantly expanding), troubles can come, and I do mean troubles. Anyway, I started losing faith in my ex-boyfriend's ability to commit to both me and the game, and I think that WoW did indeed have something to do with the reason we're not together anymore. To start off, the relationship was long distance, so that mean, right off the bat, that communication is all-important and moments shared between the couple should be cherished. Well, our phone conversations would be 50/50. Half of the time, we'd talk, he'd be driving, or in his room, or on a couch, or whatever, and we could chat and chat about tons of things. The other half, though, was difficult and even painful for me, as the girlfriend who he supposedly "loved", because I'd sit on the phone listening to the sounds of his keyboard, as he talks to his brother (who also played but has slowed down since he got engaged), talks to his fellow players via the instant messaging, and fights his battles. Ever minute or two he'd say "Sorry! I'm getting distracted, talk to me," and of course I'd try to help him balance the conversation....it never worked. Those times, he'd usually suggest that I just get online (on AIM) because it would be much easier to talk there. Raiding in WoW was also a difficult thing. With the new expansions, raiding time for his guild and other guilds becomes stricter and more frequent, and during raids, we did not talk. Ever. So this means, every Tuesday night, we couldn't talk, not even on AIM. And when the new expansion hit WoW this winter, he was up to raiding mandatory Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday. Usually from about 8 pm (Eastern time) to 1 or two in the morning. Now, I'm not saying, by any means, that a player has to choose between me or the game. I don't at all expect anyone to quit playing solely for a relationship, but to cut down the time spent and committed to WoW, yes, that would be nice. Unfortunately enough, it isn't going to happen just by me posting this on a forum. I really think that the way to ultimately get a significant other to cut down on their time spent with WoW, is to do the painful thing, and yes, this sadly means, stop letting them get away with not spending time with you. Tell them off, don't spend time with them when they actually do get the chance, or even, if you must, leave for a bit. Walk out the relationship for a while, and don't worry, they can't find anyone else in that time, because if you couldn't handle their addiction, what other person would? I don't want to be harsh, and everyone should do whatever they think is best, but this would be my advice to give. This, however, doesn't really work, or is more risky at least, in LDRs, so I would use caution there. Anyway though, if you walk away from the person and even give them an ultimatum, they might rethink their choices and try to get help for their addiction or try to ask you to help them as well. However, if they seem to not care, and go on playing the game, then who are they really wanting a relationship with, World of Warcraft, or you? I learned this the hard way, and that relationship has been over pretty much since February. I don't even wonder, I know...that he's still playing WoW and probably is at this very moment in fact. I apologize for the legnth, but I hope that this, though it was kind of a ramble, did help, or at least enlighten someone, regarding this subject. It's terribly frustrating to be in the situation, and I understand that to it's fullest now. I only hope that nobody else hasto deal with the pain of a relationship ending because of World of Warcraft, and I wish everyone who is dealing with this, the best.

[starmartyr]

From the perspective of a gamer chick with a gamer guy...

 

I met my boyfriend through WoW...and when we moved in together we played like addicts together, for over a year. We even ran a guild together and had tons of mutual online friends. It was alot of fun...but the bottom line is that we were both not dealing with reality.

 

I was not seeing him for who he really is and he was hiding something which is why we stayed in our "fantasy world" for so long (we've bothed played since release).

 

Recently, he came clean to me about something that he had been hiding from me for 2 years. Suddenly it all made sense to me.

 

He gamed compulsively to ease his guilty conscience. I played compulsively to avoid seeing the truth.

 

The very serious truth is that compulsive gamers are hiding from themselves and from reality just like any other addict.

 

My boyfriend and I quit playing WoW several months ago because we had done everything in the game that we wanted to do and we got bored with it.

 

It's NOT just a phase. If they do get bored, they will find a replacement for the addiction...go to other games or find some other addictive behavior.

 

You all have to understand that there is a root to the problem...something that they are running or hiding from and THEY have to deal with it before their behavior will change.

 

You can either push to find out what the truth is...you can push to get help...or you can leave. Threatening to leave or giving an ultimatum will only make it worse.

 

I have friends who left their compulsive gamer bf's and where as it didn't save that relationship, it did open up the eyes of the guys to the fact that they ruined a good thing because of their addiction and some of them have changed.

 

One of my online guy friends won't touch a game anymore because of the pain that he caused his ex and he doesn't want to do that again. He has gotten to the gym, gotten in shape, gotten back into his old interests and he doesn't miss it. He is dating and he hates WoW now.

 

It is possible for them to give it up but only if they can see the reality of what they are doing. Sometimes leaving is the only healthy thing for both people in the relationship....especially if talking about it and trying to work through it isn't working.

 

I'm not sure if there is hope for me and my bf now that the truth has come out...but at least everything makes sense to me now and I can see our reality for what it truly is.

[redhearts]

If you don't live together you could ask him to not do raids on the days you guys spend your time together, or you can tell him that you want to set up a date night once a week. You can tell him exactly how you feel start crying, then he will wake up a bit.

[amure]

i play wow... lol its not that bad. after you "finish the game" all you do is fight other players or run through tunnels killing wizards and skeletons.... lol haha

[redhearts]

i play wow... lol its not that bad. after you "finish the game" all you do is fight other players or run through tunnels killing wizards and skeletons.... lol haha

 

HMMM. Hopefully your not an addiction sort of person!

[PixieWings]

Its funny, I joined this forum because Im thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years whom Ive been living with for 3. I was hoping to get some advice about that but anyways let me get to my point. My boyfriend plays WoW. He's addicted as well. We live with his parents, his brother, and his cousin. Besides his mom Im the only girl. His brother and his cousin (also addicted) make it even worse. You dont want to play the game with him probably for the same reasons I dont 1) Im not into the whole rpg thing and 2) its way to demanding. Which is why they wont get off. And our sex life. . .HA what sex life? We have sex maybe ONCE A MONTH and when we talk about its my fault because he swears that I dont like sex, but the thing is I just dont want to have sex with him. Hes become completely unattractive to me (He hasnt changed appearance or anything hes just so blahh anymore) and its all because of the game. And Ill agree with you I like video games and stuff too. I love slingo and I bought the wii and rockband but come on he comes in from work at 530 and plays till 2-3 in the morning and on weekends! Ha Some nights he never makes into our bed. I mean I feel like its partially my fault. When we met he played a game called darkages. Which is pretty much the same thing except its old so it looks like a regular nintendo game compared to a new game like WoW. I was 16 and he was 20. He had a good job and ambitions. Now flash forward 5 years Im 21 and bored and hes 25 and doesnt have good job anymore and doesnt want one. In fact thats my problem I cant leave because 1) I have no where to go 2) we work together 3)we bought a car that we share and its in both our names and we'll be paying for the next ohhhh 5 years. Since hes older he wants to start looking at houses (which I think shoulve happened sooner) and then after that ya know marriage. . .kids. . .Im totally freaking out. Up until recently I was going along with these ideas and I thought we would eventually get through it, but no theres not. Ive known drug addicts and its the same thing. They can only stop if THEY want too. Sorry I went on and on about my life but I guess in the whole rant and rave I was trying to say its up to you. If you think there will eventually be an end and you can live through it then more power to you, but he wont stop unless hes ready to and even then it may not be permanent.

[redhearts]

I didn't want to get off topic and send pixie wings a PM, but new member! Gee you guys are paying a car together? What a bummer, you don't seem happy anymore and when your not happy its best to leave. You don't have family or friends you can stay at while you get back up on your feet? How much of the car has been paid and how much from him has he paid? Really you should think about leaving if your unhappy, dont find him attractive anymore because its blah and all that other stuff. Sounds like my ex sort of thing, you will regret staying and then finally gettin courage to leave after a few months or even more, then being completely happy about a decision you made to leave right now. You guys just drifted apart, and even worse he drifted into that game! I don't want to pick and judge, but I don't know your reasons for moving in with him. Although he lived with his family and all that, if you were to move with a bf it should be with you guys having your own place. That or having another couple as a rommate, or even one other person or something.

[Pay]

try to get ur SO to play on private servers... they ruin the game and allow u to get anything u want instantly (haha), helped me stop playing

[PixieWings]

i have been tossing and turning all night over this. I was supposed to sleep in today because I have a dentist appointment at 1030 but my stomach is in so many knots. I moved in with him and his parents when I was still in high school. If I could turn back time I wouldnt have moved in. . .not because Im completely repulsed by him or anything like that. I mean I do love him, but I dont know if I'll have the courage to leave. Im not used to doing things on my own and I havent been alone in so long it terrifies me. I wish I wouldve known it was gonna be so hard.

[coyote1980]

I've been having the same prob with my bf. heck the argument we had 3 nights ago was about WOW.

 

He doesn't wanna be acknowledged by me that he is addicted to the game. He flips out when I point out.

I don't think he will get bored of this game anytime soon since he's been playing for years and years.

 

I started playing WOW(I'm lvl70, so you know I tried hard) to understand his addiction(which I still don't get), and I decided to be optimistic "If the biggest problem we have is about this stupid game, then maybe we are ok"

[Ac143]

I didn't read thru this whole post but to answer your answer

 

Has anyone successfully gotten a guy off of World of warcraft?

 

Nope probably not, I know sooooo many men that are addicted to this game and its all they do after work, I'm just thankful my bf isn't one of them.

 

I dont understand it....

[coyote1980]

probably not. They are releasing a new expansion soon, so that'll help it

[amure]

let me break it down for you

theres two types of wow players

pvpers and pve'rs.

 

pvp = player vs player (very quick and a casual way of playing)

pve = running through hour long dungens with other people to get gear online

 

your boyfriend is most definatly a pve'r. daily heroics = 2 - 3 hours, kara raids every 3 days = 3 hours + 1 hour setting up the group, to stay in these groups you have to be dedicated to the guild and kind of put evrerything second.

 

i play wow, but i dont play like this ^

 

and i assure you, he WILL NOT stop any time soon. the expansion pack is due in a few months, with a heap of new features, more dungens, and other characters to play. honestly, give him the "its me or the game" speach.

 

good luck

[schueysgirl]

Completely agree with amure. He is clearly a PvE player. When you want to be the best and have the best gear in game you have to invest a hell of a lot of time, and if you dont log on a lot you definetly lose touch to your online world. Your online friends move on and forget you, level up and have better gear in a few days so you are left behind.

 

Im a girl, and ive been there. Only i was nt on WoW...never apealed to me. I started off on Dark Age of Camelot. God i was addicted. I was about 15 at the time. I rememeber si spent a whole summer holiday off school sitting in my room, curtains shut from the lovely sun playing that game. id even leave it on at night when i slept and go ack on first thing in the morning. Madness.

 

What happened? Im not sure. But for me it was a 2 yr phase max. Then i suddenly grew out of it. It was consuming too much time and i couldnt keep up. A few years later after a breakup i went back to online gaming with Guild Wars. This time i wasnt addicted and just had fun. I made sure my friends on there knew i would only be on one night a week and then sometime at the weekend.

 

Again i outgrew it.

 

But it is addictive and I sympathise with those on the other end whose partners ignore them and their real life to play these games. As thats all they are, games.

I could definetly not put up with it from my partner. We all know there is nothing wrong with having separate time and different hobbies, but when it takes up entire days, he doesnt help round the house, he ignores you and wont even acknowledge you when u come in from work i think its time to pull the plug and get out. think of yourself.

 

The only thing which may work is you leaving. At some point he will notice youve gone, and if he loves you it will wake him up and realise what hes lost and why. The maybe he will talk sensibly to you about his addiction and u can work round it.

 

Bt walking out is the only solution ithink. Shock therapy.

 

And no, destroying his computer is not good. And deleting his charaters is just plain crue and heartless. He may be addicted, but he has worked hard on those charaters and they will mean a lot to him (i know it sounds sad but ive been there) so you will only cause problems doing this. Plus it is not your right to tamper with his stuff.

 

But it is your right to look after you. Try and talk to him one last time. Then walk out. Go somwhere for the night. Collect some things the next day. Try and talk again. Repeat till either he talks properly or all your stuff is gone.....

[gypsywanderer]

I hear you. My boyfriend is into console games, and will practically clean out his savings account to get them. As a matter of fact, he even dreams about acquiring them. It's all he ever thinks about. Last week he wanted me to give him my gas money for the week so he could purchase another console system. When I questioned this, he was like "well i will pay you back". He didn't seem to get the fact that I needed to fill up my gas tank so I could make it to work and back that day. Whatever. So I definitely understand where you are coming from. And you probably feel as if he cares more for his game than you. That is how I feel. I gave my boyfriend the ultimatum, either me or the games, and he flipped out saying he was going to "smash everything" and "never look at another game again". He also tried to throw his computer. Sometimes I feel like I'm living with a large child. And now he wants to buy a house without any proposed future marital commitment, wanting me to pay half while it is in his name. Maybe in marioworld they do that kind of thing, but in real life, things are 50/50. So yeah, set the ultimatum. If he cares, he will listen. If not, ditch him.

[ProtestTheHero]

lol, I would say mediocre-average PvPers are casual players. I play a lot, gladiator all three seasons, I used to point sell, maintained 2200+ rated teams, etc.

 

Even with all that I play less than PvErs, so I do agree that he must really love raiding. Just tell him that it's pointless to raid right now anyways because in a few months the level cap will be raised to 80 and all the gear/raid bosses he's trying to down will be irrelevant at that point.

 

However, once the xpac comes out I got no argument for you, lol.

[somethngwrng]

He was weaned off WoW by his gf (who used to play as well). He harbours negative feelings toward her about it. He has expressed the desire to dump her and said he has fallen out of love with her (the have been dating about 9 months).

 

edit: christ, i keep forgetting some of these threads I'm looking at are months old -_-;

[JeffXL5]

I was playing WoW off and on for about a year there, no more than 3 hours a day. My girlfriend started complaining though because I would rather stay home and play than go see her so to prove my love to her I deleted everything I had on my account in front of her, then I took a hammer and smashed all my discs lol.

 

Its a lousy game anyway. I was just bored get home from work nothing to do really because I work nights and sleep during the day so its tough when everyone else in the world is on a different schedule than you.

 

Fortunatly I kicked it to the curb, but alot of guys cant. My girlfriend loves me alot more though! Ha.