a cutting variety of poems

[sunset sun rise lover]

Dark red

Trickles

Trickles down her arm

A special little secret

Known as self harm

 

Fiery red

Anger

Builds up deep inside

She's got to let these feelings out

But to who can she confide

 

Dark silver

Blade

Is the one that she trusts

The one that she turns to

When life becomes too much

 

Long white

Sleeves

To cover her pain

Hide her relief

Hide the cuts again.

 

 

She once was the perfect daughter

who would do anything she had to..

But no one knew the pain she held

the smile that always fooled you...

 

Her arms were always covered up

with her black and blue sweaters..

She held that smile of pure gold

no matter what change in weather..

 

Her wrists held the scars and cuts

but she always helped others in pain..

She listened day after day of their problems

but still never once did she complain.

 

She knew as long as they were happy

then it didn't matter that she was dying..

Hiding herself from others alone

hidden in her room cold and crying.

 

She knew as along as they smiled

it didn't matter if she was in pain.

Cause she knew if they found out

then everything around her would change.

 

But all that seem to change that day

when she couldn't hold in her pain

Sitting outside crying to the world

the tears being washed away with rain.

 

She held her razor blade tightly

thinking of all the mistakes she made.

Knowing she was a failure in life

the agony inside never did fade.

 

She sliced her arms with a design

cutting I'm sorry on her red wrists.

Feeling weak she fell to her knees

as the ground hit her clenched fists.

 

Her mother and father cried

because they couldn't find their baby girl.

Crying themselves to sleep at night

every thing's now crashed down their world.

 

She has still yet to be found

all that's left is a little note.

The black inked smeared

this is what their daughter wrote.

 

"Dear mama and daddy

I'm afraid you'll never find me..

But don't worry I'll be alright

cause I know I'm finally free..

 

I'll be with you in your dreams

I'll be there with you in your prayers..

Just because I'm not there beside you

it doesn't mean I'm not there..

 

I'm in a safe place now I promise

don't make finding me your world..

I love you always mama and daddy

forever I will be your baby girl.."

 

She lays there happy now

her wings shredded and torn..

The blood lays there wet and dripping

form the white lace dress she worn..

 

She knew it's what she had to do

the happiness in their lives she had to keep.

As she lays there secluded in a far place

dying in this world for she cut too deep.

 

 

sometimes i wish i was dead other times i thank god im alive

[sunset sun rise lover]

more cutting poems

 

Just a sad little girl

Who closed off the world

She hides the scars

Some deep

She went too far

Wears a fake smile

Dark clothes

Someone who no one really knows

They left her alone

They don't really care

She calls out

but nobody's there

 

I'm much better now, about an old phase of my life....

 

Bearing it down,

Smashing it in,

Splitting apart,

Releasing my heart.

 

Slashing accross,

Artwork and scars,

Physical pain,

Stuck in the rain.

 

Blades are my companion,

Friends of my wrist,

Begging for a razors kiss,

When my entire life's amiss.

 

Safety pins,

Earrings,

Fingernails,

Knives.

People get to know them well when they can't control their lives.

Razors,

Nail Files,

Blades,

Scissors.

I find uses for all when I'm in misery.

 

Blood is flowing,

But no emotion is showing.

Pain is beating,

But my brain is leading.

So as I bring the blade upon my arm,

I forget about everything, and focus on my own harm.

 

Two Words] Poem [Final Cut]

I'm doing it again,

I'm making another mistake,

I grip the knife tighter,

and see how many,

scars are made.

 

I force the knife deeper,

farther into my skin,

I'm shattered and broken,

this pain will never end.

 

You didn't cause this,

you just drove me to insanity,

you made me weaker,

hopeless,helpless,worthless,

for eternity.

 

I watch the blood drip,

rapidly on the floor,

its not nearly enough,

I must bleed,

a whole lot more.

 

Another stab to my open flesh,

doesn't sting at all,

shadowed in numbness,

I stumble and fall.

 

I lie on the floor,

everything fading to black,

it all becomes dark,

as I lay on my back.

 

Two simple words,

forced me to cut too deep,

all because I was called,

a "suicidal freak".

 

Those words honestly hurt,

I was sick of trying to hide,

are you feeling sorry now,

you drove me to suicide.

Don't you think its a little too late to apologise?

[Pocket Rocket]

These are pretty good but not always easy to read through, you sound like you're in a lot of pain.

 

I forgot to tell you the other day there is a great site for people who cut where you will find others who also go through the same things. While everyone's pain is individual, you may find people who understand better what you are going through. You can also post your poems there for others to read. If you do post them there however, you need to add trigger warnings (e.g. is your poem mentions self injury, put *si* in the message title, or *su* for suicide).

 

I found a lot of kind and helpful people there when I used to cut years ago. No one there will judge you as they are likely going through or have gone through similar things. Here's the link:

 

link removed

[sunset sun rise lover]

thank you very much

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

She once was the perfect daughter

who would do anything she had to..

But no one knew the pain she held

the smile that always fooled you...

 

That verse spoke wonders to me.

 

They are great work, its good to be able to express your emotions. Really powerful stuff.

[sunset sun rise lover]

yeah it is powerful thanks

[Jacanorie]

Thank you. Those poems describe so much I feel inside. I don't know why but it felt good to read them. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, they rang true deep inside of me and made me feel less alone.

 

Keep writing. You're a star.

 

And good luck. =)

[sunset sun rise lover]

thank you i will keep writing

[sunset sun rise lover]

more cutting poems

 

As i slide the knife,

 

accross my wrist,

 

is this really,

 

what i wish,

 

to die slowly,

 

it is my wish.

 

I have long since slit my wrist,

 

long since started to bleed.

 

My breaths are getting shorted now,

 

i'm getting really scared,

 

my breaths are getting harder,

 

i'm really unprepared.

 

i thought this is wut i wanted,

 

to die slowly,

 

was my wish,

 

i thought of this,

 

as i slit my wrist.

 

The world is going grey now,

 

soon it will be black,

 

now there is no,

 

turning back.

 

The lights are growing dimmer,

 

not too long now,

 

as the sun sets shimmer,

 

is hitting my face,

 

my heart rate ,

 

is slowing,

 

to a snails pace,

 

its reallly hard to breathe now,

 

each breath is harder than the last,

 

i cant get much air now,

 

the whole world os going black,

 

darkness is setting in.

 

i'm getting really cold,

 

this isnt what i wanted,

 

i wanted to grow old,

 

to have kids of my own.

 

I fight for a breath,

 

of precious air,

 

i cant get enough.

 

I struggle to breathe,

 

i cling to life,

 

the sunset is shining,

 

on that fateful knife.

 

i didnt go to heaven,

 

where i thought i'd belonged, i didnt go anywhere,

 

i am still clinging to this life,

 

then i breathe my last,

 

it seems that,

 

life goes by so fast.

 

 

I feel trapped in my life,

Never leave home without a knife.

A bad mood, A bad feeling is

Just a cut away from healing.

For as you see

Bleeding is healing for me

Running, wet, and red

Quiets the voices in my head.

Scars and scars galore

Each and everyone, I adore.

The object of cutting, you see

Is to sooth my soul without losing me.

To lose me, To lose my head

Would surely mean that I'd be dead.

So Cut and Cut

I continue to do.

Until I find another way

To save my life each and every day.

 

How can I make you understand when you wont listen when I explain?

That's the only reason I turn to a blade is 2 help release the pain

I know its weird and I could do it another way

But 2 me this way gets me through today

I'm not a freak I'm just alone

Waiting 4 you 2 understand my tone

Its not that I don't love you

Its not that I don't care

Its just that I'm in a lot of pain that 2 me just aint fair

Its not that I cant smile its not like I don't laugh

Its just that inside I have this aching pain that for ever seems you last.

You complain when I draw pictures of me

Of the way things should be

With me 6 feet under

And for you 2 forever wander

Why I would do that kinda thing to you

But maybe if you understood id still be alive

Today.

 

It's a cycle so vicious no-one ever wins

It starts with self hate

And ends up so much worse.

Its an addiction, so hard to break

I started it to escape

From the world and all the realities.

After not too long I started looking for a way out

From the tool I used to escape.

Its an addiction, so hard to break

It may not be the most ideal way of coping with life

But at the time it was all I could get.

I grasped it with both hands

But when I wanted to let go

It had over me a strong hold

With almost no way out.

Its an addiction, so hard to break.

 

thanks replies are nice

[sunset sun rise lover]

more poems of cutting trig

 

A little bit of suicide a day keeps the doctor away

A little bit of suicide a week keeps the nightmares at bay

A little bit of suicide a month keeps my friends worrying

A little bit of suicide a year keeps my heart still beating

A little bit of suicide every season keeps me filled with hate

A little bit of suicide every decade keeps society awake

A little bit of suicide every generation keeps the kids in graves

A little bit of suicide every turn of the century keeps the bright minds saved

A little bit of suicide every millennium makes the history books more interesting

A little bit of suicide every dawn of creation makes the world worth saving

A little bit of suicide every lifetime makes our lives so much more loved

There is something inside of us all

Its not anger, passion, hope, or just cause

Theres a little bit of suicide in us all

[sunset sun rise lover]

The blood so fresh,

The cut so real,

Only others that hurt like me,

Know how it feels

 

A world so dark,

A world so cold,

A world so lonely,

With no one to hold

 

You could never understand,

The pain I have within,

I feel there is nothing I can trust,

But myself and my feelings within

 

I feel so alone,

In my dark and scary world,

I sit in the corner of my room,

So tightly curled

 

I am a lost little girl,

With no where to run,

No one wants anything to do with me,

No one wants me to have fun

 

I don't know how,

To escape these feelings inside,

I look around as I run,

But there is no place to hide

 

Everywhere I run,

Every corner I see,

There is no place for my feelings,

There is no place for me.

 

 

He did this to me, and they made me do it.

All the things built up inside:

 

....He was perfect except for the lies,

....The lies I knew but let myself believe.

 

....They glared, they laughed, they antagonized.

....Their open hatred didn't have any reason.

 

 

It all left me lonely, empty, hated, worthless.

That's when I snapped and there was no turning back.

 

I found a single blade on the back of a razor.

The pain was released from fourteen oozing cuts.

 

Then I knew what I had done could never be taken back:

I was never supposed to be the one to do this.

 

I called him and he helped me fix what I had done.

His "love" and his "caring" is all that got me through.

 

I wish he knew that, but I can't tell him now.

Now he hates me, we can't even talk.

 

If only he still loved me like he did before...

The fact that he doesn't just makes me cut more.

 

My arms, my legs, my hips are all proof of:

The heartache, the pain, the tears that come every night.

 

I feel lonely...

I feel empty...

I feel hated and worthless,

I just want to cry.

 

The bleeding of my heart makes me want to burst

And I only know one way to fix this pain.

 

Now I've made a promise to never cut again,

I want to keep my word, but I don't think I can.

 

This evil addiction can never end...

 

 

 

 

 

to look at you through a blood glass mirror/

A chilling dying empty feeling/

A final metal bell still ringing/

Over the icy hanging branches/

To live in silence as doorbells ring/

Happy girlfriends read perfumed love notes/

Burning oil under my nails /

the cold metal pierces my skin/

like a secret I open just to prove I am/

alive/

I swallow your words without complaint/

you raise you hand to strike me/

my burned body sinks back/

I was a shadow/

tears, scars can't express the pain/

falling, crashing, one tortured feeling/

the floor the depths within me screaming/

to much to soon has changed./

[sunset sun rise lover]

Confused and scared, not sure what to do,

All because of people like you,

You scorn, you curse, you bully, and you brake,

Too much pain than I can take,

 

Never wanted to go to school,

Because I knew you would pin me to the wall,

You teased me, and laughed at me, and made me cry,

I’d sit there and hope I would just die,

 

Hiding away from your hateful glare,

I knew in my heart that this wasn’t fair,

You’d single me out from a crowd,

A grin on your face, you felt so proud,

 

I’d cry and quiver, you’d just smile,

And keep me pinned there for a while,

Then you hit me, this wasn’t right,

Now I saw you in a different light,

 

I was now your punch bag, for all your abuse,

Like a stress ball, for your personal use,

I tried telling the teachers that I was being hurt,

But they just ignored me, like a piece of dirt,

 

I gave up trying, you just carried on,

I was numb to the touch, all feeling gone,

I couldn’t take this anymore and turned to self harm,

I felt better sticking sharp things in my arm,

 

I started with scissors and compasses too,

But they soon became blunt, it wouldn’t do,

I moved onto blades and a sharp kitchen knife,

I didn’t realise but I was tearing away my life,

 

Many years have passed, and I still remember you,

All the pain you caused me, and the torture you put me through,

I still get hurt from time to time, but it isn’t quite as bad,

I don’t get all those bruised, that I once had,

 

I’ve learnt how to cope, and how to stop the tears,

But I’ll never be relieved, of all those haunting fears,

I look out the window, and stare at the stars,

I wish you could hear me, and see my battle scars.

 

 

 

i have now been getting help and councelling for 3months, and i have not cut since, although i have wanted to a few times.

 

remember you are strong and don't hide it, tell someone today and set yourself free

Well here I am

 

Well here i am

sitting here

wasting my life away

in boredness

with in my empty soul.

Ive decided on this

to stop my urge

to self harm.

It hurts

It kills

but im going to stop

Knowing these cuts

are disappearing

into thin air.

im going to stop

it only kills me even more

every cut

every slit.

every tear

that i shed.

kills me on the inside.

Im going to live

live a happier life

im going to move on

and live with the new

im going to try to be happy

happy, that ive stopped

These tears i shed

will be better

better than every cut

every razor to the skin

becuase im only letting the pain out

not putting in on the outside

i will talk

talk bout my pain

instead of hiding it

i dont want to die

i want to be happy

i will laugh

i will smile

and have fun.

ill forget about all this pain

youve made me feel

and act like it never happened

so i wont

WONT have the urge to cut

ill get the help i need

through my friends

through the ones i trust.

with all my heart

this, this writing

will continue

until all

all urges are gone

and will fix this

broken skin

on my wrist

and i will

BE HAPPY

and ill forget bout the bad

because i dont need that crap

or that pain

that you made me feel

so here i am.

wasting my time

within my empty soul

and will soon be

with in my happy dreams

that get me through every night

and every day!

so goodbye

and goodnight..

 

 

 

A cut...

The blood...

You don't know what this does.

To hide the emotional pain...

I slit my vein!

People look at me different when they see the scars...

The emotional pain to carry is ours.

We make a decision...

Every time we make an incision.

There is too much to bear...

But it's not like anyone out there cares

 

My white dress lies.

I have stained it red through the seams of my skin

It sheets over my shiver of scars.

 

Red to the surface,

Berries of tangible feeling from emotionless fruit.

Crystalline forming -

 

The same everytime and amazes me still.

Yes I am cold in this ice dress

But do not ask you to warm me

 

The razor edge cold cuts me clean

Facilitates my every need

Scared and scarred I bleed

 

To escape the constraints of my skin

I bleed to stay alive, not to die

To bring a smile to my lips.

 

The silver sliver of moon is a blade to me

A scythe to cut me down to size.

Pavement shards of glass cry out at me

 

To bleed, bleed, bleed.

For you to see, proof of the shame

But who do you blame?

 

A freak. A freak.

Refusing to see what is me

Your words cut me -

 

The soft baby white skin of my arm

Asks so politely for relief.

I gave you my secret and you ran,

 

Ran to the peak of your intellect

To hide from the truth of my blood.

I could send you a letter

 

That seeps from my finger

Tied up with my ribbon scars.

Or shall I go deeper for you?

 

Just to prove that I'm real.

I want to sink. Sink to the depths -

The chasm of sleep.

 

Not die, no -

That would be too clean and swift

Too easy for you to understand.

 

I will drag in the mud of the flow

I'll only be dirty when you pull me out

For now the dirt cleanses

 

And the mess of the blood

Soaked into the virgin sheets

Scrub out the shame and the stain.

 

I thought I was blind

When I woke up today

And then I remembered

 

You taught me to see

You taught me who to be

Then slammed the door shut

 

And me without so much as a thank you.

I forgot I was no one

I forgot that to rise in your eyes