I think this time it is for real

[Maree79]

I posted here in Dec/Jan. Basically my ex has severe depression which I now think may be bipolar disorder. He broke up with me because he felt he couldn't make me happy, even though I was so very happy. We were in constant contact & became a couple again in February.

 

Now it has happened again. I realized that he wasn't fully committing to me & he was refusing to go see a doctor. I feel as though he is throwing away something real - we had alot of great times, and he is letting it go because he would rather live his life depressed.

 

Well, I am no a citizen of this country & now am considering moving back to my homeland in November to be with family & friends - November is the earliest I can leave. I have absolutely no-one here & the loneliness is killing me. My ex & I have been NC since Monday. I broke down yesterday & messaged him "are you okay?" - no answer.

 

I am worried I will leave & he will get better & we will then not be able to be together. I am seeing a counselor, joined curves to be around women & relieve my anxiety. But I am so hurt & so worried about him.

 

I just need someone to talk to. I hate my life.

[Clabs]

Oh Maree - I am so sorry for your situation. You must truly be in a lonely place right now.

 

When someone is so depressed like that, there isn't very much you can do to fix them - only they can do that - only they can help themselves. He likely hasn't got room in his head for himself, let alone to be in a relationship.

 

My ex was depressed - not to the same degree - and I tried all I could but when you are dealing with depression, you are not dealing with a rational person.

 

I really think you should consider moving back home with your friends and family in November - that would seem to be your best bet. It is hard to imagine that he may get better and you will lose him if you do this, but it is also easy to hold out hope - you cannot let this rule your life - you have a right to live also.

 

For now, I think you need to stay in NC - it is hard but it will be best for you in the long run. Try to keep yourself really really busy - try and get out and excercise - try to make some new friends. And of course - come back on here if you feel like venting.

 

Take care hun.

 

Mark

[starlight40]

When someone is so depressed like that, there isn't very much you can do to fix them - only they can do that - only they can help themselves. He likely hasn't got room in his head for himself, let alone to be in a relationship.

 

^^i agree with that, im sure youve done everything you can to try and help this guy but it does have to come from him, maybe when he gets to the very bottom and doesnt have you there to comfort him then he might think about gettng some help....this all could be a means to an end with his depression.

 

Hang in there Maree and you are never alone when you have enotalone. Feel free to talk to me anytime xx

[brian123]

I too dealt with someone who had BP, depression and or some other kind of problem. I couldnt make heads nor tails of what happened. almost 3 months later, and I still am having trouble making sense of everything.

 

Some things dont make sense. Move back with your family and friends and worry about you. You cannot help someone who cannot be helped.

[Maree79]

Yes, I will try really hard not to contact him again. I am in poor health right now & have been staring at several thousand dollars in medical bills. I am so disappointed that he does this to me when I have been so ill. But I guess that is depression, right? I became more than he could handle.

 

Thanks for your support. It helps so much.