Aschleigh Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 Should the existence of a still very involved ex send reg flags up? Is the meddling ex a sign of poor boundaries on the part of your girlfriend/boyfriend? What is the response you want your SO to have to their meddling ex? Does it matter to you if your new girlfriend/boyfriend is just out of the relationship or if they have been single for a while? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaylaJoy Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 Should the existence of a still very involved ex send reg flags up? I think yes, absolutely. Is the meddling ex a sign of poor boundaries on the part of your girlfriend/boyfriend? Again, I think yes, absolutely. The only exception of contact I think should be if there are children involved. What is the response you want your SO to have to their meddling ex? Irritation. Does it matter to you if your new girlfriend/boyfriend is just out of the relationship or if they have been single for a while? I prefer single for a while, less chance of a rebound, also to make sure there are no residual feelings left for the ex, gives them time to make up their minds they have moved on or not. Just all my opinion of course! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcadefire Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 Should the existence of a still very involved ex send reg flags up? Is the meddling ex a sign of poor boundaries on the part of your girlfriend/boyfriend? What is the response you want your SO to have to their meddling ex? Does it matter to you if your new girlfriend/boyfriend is just out of the relationship or if they have been single for a while? Depends on the situation! No, I think that if your b/f or g/f is completely over their ex and really into you and their future with you, then it would be okay to have their ex be their friend, but nothing more. It shows that your SO has moved on and learned from past experiences. If their ex is really meddling, I would prefer my SO to kindly tell them to have their space. I would prefer that my new SO would be out of a past relationship for a while, otherwise I would think that I was a rebound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkblue Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 I'm very good friends with an ex - but she never 'meddles' in my pesonal life. She wouldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeckyllNHyde Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 Should the existence of a still very involved ex send reg flags up? Depends. By involved do you mean platonic friends? Usually I would say it's not good but if they are fully over each other I see no reason not to be friends. If the ex meddles as in: threatning to do stuff and trying to keep you both unhappy/apart.. Badddddd sign! Been there, done that. And I ended up being "just the rebound" I'm guessing. The ex meddled why? Because the guy LET HER. Is the meddling ex a sign of poor boundaries on the part of your girlfriend/boyfriend? Yes! Could also be that they haven't fully moved on IMO. What is the response you want your SO to have to their meddling ex? If the ex meddles in a negative way for us 2.. well. I want my bf setting clear boundries and sticking to them. Does it matter to you if your new girlfriend/boyfriend is just out of the relationship or if they have been single for a while? I would prefer if they had been single just based on experiences. I would take the approach of staying friends and hanging out for some time and then slowly proceeding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TropicalParadise Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 Should the existence of a still very involved ex send reg flags up? Yes - unless it's a purely platonic relationship and they are both fully over each other. I don't see any need for ex's to be friends (just my personal opinion) but I don't see anything wrong with being friendly with each other. Is the meddling ex a sign of poor boundaries on the part of your girlfriend/boyfriend? Yes and no. If he or she insists on still talking with the ex, even after you have told them how much it bothers you, that's a bad sign and shows that your partner does not respect you. What is the response you want your SO to have to their meddling ex? I was actually in this situation, though the ex wasn't TOO bad because she was in a relationship herself - she was just jealous that he found someone else, which I really can't blame her because they were together for 4 years. But she was always trying to text him, asking him why he never tried calling her, etc. BF tried telling her he had moved on and was happy, but she really didn't get the point. After I told him that I was getting a little tired of his ex trying to contact him, he agreed enough is enough and she has not tried to contact him in about 2 years - except for an apology e-mail she wrote him a couple months ago saying she was happy for us and apologized for what she had done. Does it matter to you if your new girlfriend/boyfriend is just out of the relationship or if they have been single for a while? I would definitely prefer single - at least for a few months. When someone is just out of a relationship, they are still healing and you will more than likely become the rebound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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