ramsickle1369 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 NO, I say whatever comes to mind and that' how coversations should be when you are dating. When you talk to your friends or relatives the convo is unscripted so I never understood why when meeting someone online you have to have these scripted conversations witha bunch of notepad questions like-"DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?-lol What makes you so sure that this is so called "scripted"? Perhaps she picked up on something you mentioned? I can't tell because I only know the one line. If you think about conversations... just about anything can be deemed "scripted"... One could say "great weather we're having!" And that could appear scripted. Jeeze, nearly everything we say to another human being can be considered scripted... This has become one very bizaar topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramsickle1369 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Nervousness is acceptable when you are face to face. But on the phone? If a girl is shy on the phone that's fine but i'm saying I don't want to talk to her. Not my kind of girl Seriously? CD... honestly. Where on earth do you get these ideas of yours? You're telling me that you have never ever been nervous to talk to someone/anyone on the phone? I find that VERY hard to believe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 What makes you so sure that this is so called "scripted"? Perhaps she picked up on something you mentioned? I can't tell because I only know the one line. If you think about conversations... just about anything can be deemed "scripted"... One could say "great weather we're having!" And that could appear scripted. Jeeze, nearly everything we say to another human being can be considered scripted... This has become one very bizaar topic. But I don't like conversations when one question follows another. that's boring Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 Seriously? CD... honestly. Where on earth do you get these ideas of yours? You're telling me that you have never ever been nervous to talk to someone/anyone on the phone? I find that VERY hard to believe... Someone that I met off a dating service? No Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramsickle1369 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I never heard of that before, you don't like to get a FEEL for someone's personality before meeting face to face? There are girls who I was attracted to when looking at ther pic online and when we talked on the phone I was able to feel that she wasn't for me. I never heard of meeting face to face from a email-lol hersmudders: I agree 100% that talking over the phone with someone you barely know IS awkward. Heck, I'm a chatter and some guys just don't do the phone thing very well. Also, I can't stand it when a guy appears distracted on the phone. So I too prefer the meetup. CD--- I don't know what you hope to accomplish with your questions or dating in general. You seem to find an excuse to get away from every potential interest there is. This is a commitmentphobia. Whether you are ready to deal with that yet or not is up to you. I don't mean this in a harsh way, but in all honesty, I wouldn't date any guy that sounds like you. Your insecurity is enormous and yet you project that onto the girls you meet to actually sabatoge yourself and stay single... forever if you don't take a good hard look at yourself. Are you in therapy? Do you feel your emotions or distract yourself from them? All I am hearing here is that you want desperately to be loved but somehow feel totally undeserving so you find the most insignificant things to run away from. I hope you find the strength within to deal with your own true issues. Once you understand what is making you push every single girl away, I think you will find success... Anyway, the issue goes WAY WAY deeper than you are letting on... Best of luck to you, but please, as a girl seeking a decent man, don't even try to date until you figure yourself out first. Women have feelings too and don't particularly like to be rejected. The issues here are yours and yours alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramsickle1369 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Sorry, one thing to add... You are here on ENA, so you clearly know there's something that has to change. You can't control how other people are, but you can adjust your attitude and you'll be amazed at the different reactions you will get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servedcold Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Again, premature "commitmentphobic" talk, he's asking one woman out for a third date, here on this forum to try to improve his skills and questioning how he does things. A truly commitmentphobic person wouldn't be doing these things. "Picky" even if a little excessively so, does not equal "commitment-phobic" Stick to your guns, CD, rest assured before you find the right woman for you, you will be nixed, nexted, red-lined and red-flagged by women for much more superficial reasons than you have listed here, and you won't even realize it's happening. Just make sure that whatever criteria you choose are truly useful in leading you closer to a solid match... if they don't work over time to this end in your estimation, find new criteria or loosen the ones you have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramsickle1369 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Again, premature "commitmentphobic" talk, he's asking one woman out for a third date, here on this forum to try to improve his skills and questioning how he does things. A truly commitmentphobic person wouldn't be doing these things. "Picky" even if a little excessively so, does not equal "commitment-phobic" It's not premature given the history behind this one encounter... Have you followed the other encounters CD has had? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servedcold Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Yes I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 But I don't like conversations when one question follows another. that's boring what is supposed to happen? dead silence? in the early phases you are trying to get to know them. geezus bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 what is supposed to happen? dead silence? in the early phases you are trying to get to know them. geezus bro. i understand that but it can be some chitter chatter in between questions not just one question following another like I'm being interviewed for a job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 But I don't like conversations when one question follows another. that's boring i understand that but it can be some chitter chatter in between questions not just one question following another like I'm being interviewed for a job well of course. but chitter chatter doesn't just happen out of thin air. something has to spark other stories, experiences, jokes, etc. i understand the scripted feeling. but don't question it. just answer the questions and talk about the answer in more detail. if you are just answering 'yes' and sitting there, then chances are you will get another question. elaborate or ask her a question back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 One more question Confused Dater - - - How would you feel if you were sitting with someone or over the phone someone said "So, Name, tell me about you." How would you respond? Is that an appropriate question? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 One more question Confused Dater - - - How would you feel if you were sitting with someone or over the phone someone said "So, Name, tell me about you." How would you respond? Is that an appropriate question? It still sounds kind of job interviewish. I guess it would be better if she asked a question that allowed me to elaborate like-"so what do u like doing the most when u are not working? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 It still sounds kind of job interviewish. I guess it would be better if she asked a question that allowed me to elaborate like-"so what do u like doing the most when u are not working? are you just upset when girls ask about your job? is that what this is all about. cause you are complaining about this the most it seems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 are you just upset when girls ask about your job? is that what this is all about. cause you are complaining about this the most it seems. To be honest i don't like talking about work when I'm home relaxing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 To be honest i don't like talking about work when I'm home relaxing so it's your attitude and not them. got it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 so it's your attitude and not them. got it now. I will say the funniest question I was ever asked by a girl was "At this point in your life, what accomplishment would you say you are most proud of? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 I will say the funniest question I was ever asked by a girl was "At this point in your life, what accomplishment would you say you are most proud of? LOL what's so funny about that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 what's so funny about that? you don't think that's an odd question? Isn't that something an Employer askes on a interview? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 you don't think that's an odd question? Isn't that something an Employer askes on a interview? no. it's a general question. you are waaaay too critical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 It still sounds kind of job interviewish. I guess it would be better if she asked a question that allowed me to elaborate like-"so what do u like doing the most when u are not working? I would venture to guess that you are uncomfortable with talking about yourself. Either you aren't happy with yourself or your life and your afraid to tell about yourself or you fear that you will be judged by the answer and the girl will no longer talk to you. I was once asked that question. After a wonderful day long date. "Tell me about you" he said. I quickly realized that I had a lot of work to do. I didn't feel comfortable - didn't know what to say about "me." "Who am I?" I seriously stumbled terribly. And just said that I'm not used to talking about myself.... And then I stopped dating. And started working on me - creating myself and figuring out more about me.... So - tell me about yourself Confused... Really - what are your accomplishments, what are you proud of, what do you enjoy most in life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 Confused when it comes to dating and I am proud of reaching a 2nd date for the first time in 8 years. Made it to two second dates, twice in 6 months. Before December, I was a one date wonder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 Confused when it comes to dating and I am proud of reaching a 2nd date for the first time in 8 years. Made it to two second dates, twice in 6 months. Before December, I was a one date wonder i think this is part of your problem. like you have some goal to obtain by 2nd, 3rd date. you have your 'date' schedule mapped out. and yet you complain cause a girl asks you a few questions and you feel like it's a script. pffft Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 28, 2008 Author Share Posted May 28, 2008 i think this is part of your problem. like you have some goal to obtain by 2nd, 3rd date. you have your 'date' schedule mapped out. and yet you complain cause a girl asks you a few questions and you feel like it's a script. pffft Like my mom said the other day, when you have a goal it doesn't mean it's going to happen, you just have something to shoot for. And that's what I'm doing in this case, I would like to reach a 3rd date for the first time in 8 years. Never made it to a 4th date in my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.