ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 so you are reading from a script too? NO, I say whatever comes to mind and that' how coversations should be when you are dating. When you talk to your friends or relatives the convo is unscripted so I never understood why when meeting someone online you have to have these scripted conversations witha bunch of notepad questions like-"DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?-lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 No you can't. You wrongly assume that just because a conversation isn't flowing the way YOU want that it's scripted and you don't take into account 'getting to know someone nerves', the awkwardness of meeting or talking to someone new, the awkwardness of trying to find a common ground with a prospective date and all sorts of other things. Things aren't always going to be on your terms and you need to accept that. How many more times can I say that to you? Sorry but I don't accept NERVOUSNESS over the phone. Not my type of girl to talk to at all. I see no reason why someone would be nervous getting to know someone over the phone in the comfort of their own home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
15 Storeys High Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 And there, lies your problem. You don't accept or adapt. You're completely closed to anything that isn't within your rigid set of rules and that is why you have and will continue to have "bad luck" with women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny_mcs Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Sorry but I don't accept NERVOUSNESS over the phone. Not my type of girl to talk to at all. I see no reason why someone would be nervous getting to know someone over the phone in the comfort of their own home This is why you have ZERO success with women. Aren't you the guy who visibly SHAKES and TREMBLES when he meets a woman for the first time? Your problem is that you expect these women to accept all of your quirks and strangeness, yet you have all these rigid and unbending RULES that they must follow. I would think a guy who shakes uncontrollably would have some SYMPATHY for a person who is nervous on the phone But, no, that is UNACCEPTABLE to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 This is why you have ZERO success with women. Aren't you the guy who visibly SHAKES and TREMBLES when he meets a woman for the first time? Your problem is that you expect these women to accept all of your quirks and strangeness, yet you have all these rigid and unbending RULES that they must follow. I would think a guy who shakes uncontrollably would have some SYMPATHY for a person who is nervous on the phone But, no, that is UNACCEPTABLE to you. Nervousness is acceptable when you are face to face. But on the phone? If a girl is shy on the phone that's fine but i'm saying I don't want to talk to her. Not my kind of girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Nervousness is acceptable when you are face to face. But on the phone? If a girl is shy on the phone that's fine but i'm saying I don't want to talk to her. Not my kind of girl huh?? you come off as the most person on ENA and you won't like a girl if she is nervous. you always have all these questions and are always worried. NO, I say whatever comes to mind and that' how coversations should be when you are dating. When you talk to your friends or relatives the convo is unscripted so I never understood why when meeting someone online you have to have these scripted conversations witha bunch of notepad questions like-"DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?-lol basic question. scripted? no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 huh?? you come off as the most person on ENA and you won't like a girl if she is nervous. you always have all these questions and are always worried. basic question. scripted? no. Do you like your job is a NOTEPAD QUESTION Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
15 Storeys High Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Why is it? Why can it not just be someone that's interested in you and your life? Getting to know someone involves asking standard questions. That's what getting to know someone is about. Everyone asks the same questions because those things are important. Get over it. If this bothers you so much then you need to completely forget about dating until you can be a bit more adaptable, open minded and less rigid. I don't know how else to say this to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Do you like your job is a NOTEPAD QUESTION what is a notepad question? define that please. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||^^^^^oh wait is my question notepad too. i don't get it man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 what is a notepad question? define that please. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||^^^^^oh wait is my question notepad too. i don't get it man. Questions that make it seem like you are on the other end of the phone holding a notepad full of questions and checking off which ones I'm giving the right answer to with a pen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Questions that make it seem like you are on the other end of the phone holding a notepad full of questions and checking off which ones I'm giving the right answer to with a pen still don't get it man. sounds to me like someone trying to get to know you and the way you think. it's a shame you can't see that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 ConfusedDater - - - - Is it possible that you are just not ready for dating? I'm curious - what would be the "perfect" conversation. What would be the "perfect" girl for you? What imperfections might you tolerate? Because it seems to me that you have this mental image and idea of exactly what you want and if someone doesn't fit (due to the time they call or what they talk about,) you cross them off the list. yes, i agree. what are you looking for exactly in a woman? i keep asking you in your threads, but you never answer my question. you somehow never want to answer it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 yes, i agree. what are you looking for exactly in a woman? i keep asking you in your threads, but you never answer my question. you somehow never want to answer it. A woman who is not afraid to be herself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
15 Storeys High Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 A woman who is not afraid to be herself If that were true you would be a lot more accepting of women early on. You dismiss women as soon as they say or do something that doesn't fit with what you want. That's not accepting a women who may or may not be being herself. You can't tell either way until much later on. What it seems you actually want is a woman that does what you want them to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 This is why you have ZERO success with women. Aren't you the guy who visibly SHAKES and TREMBLES when he meets a woman for the first time? Your problem is that you expect these women to accept all of your quirks and strangeness, yet you have all these rigid and unbending RULES that they must follow. I would think a guy who shakes uncontrollably would have some SYMPATHY for a person who is nervous on the phone But, no, that is UNACCEPTABLE to you. Frankly, I'd rather be on the phone wiht a person who has a shaky voice and nervous questions than sitting in front of some scared puppy who is trembling in fear and nervousness. CHILL THE EFF OUT! I personally avoid the phone when I'm doing online dating. I will email a few times, adn if the guy asks for my number, I say "Why don't we meet in person instead?" I don't talk on the phone b/c I'm not a 14 year old girl wanting to talk to her high school crush. I also have this thing with silences--if there's any silence on the phone, I get REALLY nervous and start talking (babbling, really) about nothing of substance and make an ass of myself. It's much easier for me in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 If that were true you would be a lot more accepting of women early on. You dismiss women as soon as they say or do something that doesn't fit with what you want. That's not accepting a women who may or may not be being herself. You can't tell either way until much later on. What it seems you actually want is a woman that does what you want them to do. Not True, Just someone who can be the person they are around co-workers and relatives. Not all TIGHT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Wouldn't that involve liking her job then if she coudl be herself around coworkers? WOW what a TERRIBLE thing to assume. Sorry, CD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Not True, Just someone who can be the person they are around co-workers and relatives. Not all TIGHT what does this mean to you? like what qualities? remember the girl who wore slippers and tube socks around you. maybe that was her being her 'true self' but that seemed to be a turn off to you. what makes you think a girl is being fake or not her true self? if anything, i would argue that a woman who is asking 'interview' questions might be herself. for example, a lot of women want to have kids and a family, but it's a no-no to ask a man that on the first date. so even though they are dying to ask, 'what's your 5 year plan, do you want children?' society tells us not to. society tells us to make small talk instead. so maybe this girl was being her true self with you, just being upfront, wanting to know where you wanted to go in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
15 Storeys High Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Not True, Just someone who can be the person they are around co-workers and relatives. Not all TIGHT But if you don't know them yet how do you know how they are around different people?? You just aren't getting this and I really don't know how else to get through to you. There's nothing left for me to say on this topic. I've said my thoughts and I've given you some advice. Whether you choose to ignore that, as you have so far, or take it on board is up to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 Frankly, I'd rather be on the phone wiht a person who has a shaky voice and nervous questions than sitting in front of some scared puppy who is trembling in fear and nervousness. CHILL THE EFF OUT! I personally avoid the phone when I'm doing online dating. I will email a few times, adn if the guy asks for my number, I say "Why don't we meet in person instead?" I don't talk on the phone b/c I'm not a 14 year old girl wanting to talk to her high school crush. I also have this thing with silences--if there's any silence on the phone, I get REALLY nervous and start talking (babbling, really) about nothing of substance and make an ass of myself. It's much easier for me in person. I never heard of that before, you don't like to get a FEEL for someone's personality before meeting face to face? There are girls who I was attracted to when looking at ther pic online and when we talked on the phone I was able to feel that she wasn't for me. I never heard of meeting face to face from a email-lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I never heard of that before, you don't like to get a FEEL for someone's personality before meeting face to face? There are girls who I was attracted to when looking at ther pic online and when we talked on the phone I was able to feel that she wasn't for me. I never heard of meeting face to face from a email-lol I said I email a couple times and then if they ask for my number, I ask for a personal meeting. I get a feel from them in email. It's not about the picture for me--if they have a cool profile and I like their emails, then I will suggest meeting online if they didn't first. ITS NOT ALL ABOUT THE PICTURE! Stop being that guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 But if you don't know them yet how do you know how they are around different people?? You just aren't getting this and I really don't know how else to get through to you. There's nothing left for me to say on this topic. I've said my thoughts and I've given you some advice. Whether you choose to ignore that, as you have so far, or take it on board is up to you. Believe me I can tell when a girl is being herself. Now I talked to a new girl last night for the first time on the phone and I wasn't that pleased with the first conversation but I just figured she was nervous and things will bne different the next time we talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 Wouldn't that involve liking her job then if she coudl be herself around coworkers? WOW what a TERRIBLE thing to assume. Sorry, CD. If I didn't like my job, I wouldn't want anyone asking me do I like it unless they had connections to get me another one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 If I didn't like my job, I wouldn't want anyone asking me do I like it unless they had connections to get me another one. How would they know you like your job or not in order to get you a connection? Wouldn;t that involve having a conversation about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 I said I email a couple times and then if they ask for my number, I ask for a personal meeting. I get a feel from them in email. It's not about the picture for me--if they have a cool profile and I like their emails, then I will suggest meeting online if they didn't first. ITS NOT ALL ABOUT THE PICTURE! Stop being that guy. Well for me it's all about the picture, sorry. And how do u get a feel for someone over emaiL??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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