wizard71 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 It doesnt mean he has someone new at all. Although its easy to think that, ive had similar thoughts myself about my ex, it could just be that hes young and not ready to settle down. I think he needs time alone to reflect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 But he has had a week to do that and still hasn't done so and what does he need time for he is the one who broke it off with me, and now that i sent that rude text telling him that i got over him so quick and that he is worth nothing and did me a favour i do not think he will ever contact me again as i said that he does not need to worry about seeing me now as i am over him, i thought it would make him reply as he likes it when you do not show him that you like him too much but i now think that i have ruined everything and every chance of us getting back together or even being friends! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard71 Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Unfortunately a week isnt probably anywhere near long enough. These things can take a while im afraid. Patience is needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I made a silly mistake by sending him 4 texts today telling him that i have an exam tomoro and need him and miss him and stuff like that and no reply. I have now put my phone in my locker at college as i know i will be tempted to send mpre until he gets sick of me and then will reply to stop me from texting him but i do not know what else to do. I have writen another letter but i dont know whether to end it as last time i do not even know if he read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Hi hun You did the right thing by locking your phone away so that you aren't tempted to send any more texts. If you do keep on hounding him, you will only push him even further away and maybe even cement in his mind that breaking up with you was the right thing to do. It is very theraputic to write all this stuff out. Lots of people on here write to their exes - kind of to get things off their chests. The trick though is to not send it. Read it the next day and chuck it away, post it up on here - do anything with it but don't send it. He knows where to find you if he wants you. Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would begin to question someone who has such a hard time deciding if they wanted to be with me or not. If you love someone, you cannot wait to be with them, right? Where is he? Try to not contact for a few days to let things settle down a bit. Come back here if you feel weak or lonely or angry and need to vent. It is hard, but we are here to help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 Thank you for that message that makes a lot of sense to me, he was such a good guy and maybe i just did not deserve him. I think i need to have a fag as i know that i am going to be tempted to go to my locker and text him i would call him but i do not have enough credit as when i get some i know i will call him as that is the only thing that i have not tried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Hun - I need to slap you silly! He was the one who couldn't/wouldn't commit - that is his problem - and nothing you have done wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I may have we dont know that lol, and do not slap me as that would hurt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I just miss the guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Hun - I know you do miss him. It is gonna take a while for that to start to fade. But the busier you can keep yourself, the easier (or rather less hard!) it will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I know but he was perfect for me and we had a great time together and now i feel like i dont know him and do not never want to see him again and if im his mate atleast i get to see him and then when i see him as my mate i may not like him anymore as i will see him as my friend like all of my other mates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 All these thoughts rushing about your head are quite normal hun - in fact they are good for you because it shows you are dealing with this stuff and not just bundling it away somewhere. It is as hard as hell isn't it. Someone you were once so close to now seems so different - so changed. How can that be? Maybe we never really knew them at all? I wouldn't even think about being mates while all this is up in the air because it will really hurt you and drag all this out. Once the dust settles you will be able to make a better decision as to whether you still want him in your life in some capacity or not. Personally, I cannot do it - least not for a long long while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard71 Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I totally agree with clabs here. As i said in an earlier post, im going through the same thing and its very hard, especially if you have never been in this position before. Its like having an arm cut off. PLease post here with your thoughts BEFORE you write or say anything to your ex. Trust the advice on this forum, it knows what its talking about. Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sib88 Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 hey girl, your thread definitely caught my eye. I can relate in someway because my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me not too long ago, and I did all the no-nos you shouldn't do-- and it has pushed him away. I got help, and I have been reading this book by Bob Grant who has been a relationship counselor for over 16 years, and let me tell you: it is helping so much. The letters that you wrote to your ex (which i did too) are more meaningless to a MAN than they would mean for a woman. Words are not for men. I can guarantee your ex read it, but your WORDS will not convince him to change his mind. And I read how you sent a *nasty* text to your ex earlier, which is totally understandable (i did that too at one point and regretted it). I found out that acting on emotion only pushes them away too. Your ex might know that you were upset/angry/emotional and probably knows you didn't mean it. But he's not replying because he knows you are STILL emotional, and most guys (like my ex) will know it's best to avoid any conversation with someone who's emotion has the best of them. How you've locked your phone up is a GREAT idea! I'm so proud that you decided to do that! Stay away from that thing for now. You don't need to call or text him, right now the communication depends on him--- NOT YOU. And I know that's hard as hell (trust me! after my finals this semester, I had to leave for vacation and leave my phone at home so i wouldn't text/call my ex and it helped so much) Whether you are not initiating a call in order to get him back or to get over him, this is a great time for you to work on yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 i thought i was fine and now i have started crying again as i have an exam 2moro and wanted him to be there like he was last time i had an exam infact he was a good help he usually does not get up as early as 10am but that time that i had an exam he got up early and i was late to his house and he was sitting there waiting for me to come to his house after the exam. I feel like i just cannot live without him i know that you will all say that i can but i miss him so much and it goes away and then hurts like it did when we broke up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I do not think that i can take this no more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I just looked at his facebook page and he logged on and i had left alot of messages and he never replied to anything he never said nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taylor527 Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 If he has commitment problems at 6 months what makes you think he is going to stick it out for the long run.... find a new boyfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Hey hun. I hate to keep slapping you down but you'd do well to keep away from fartbook and the like - at least for the time being, cos all it'll do is hurt you. You don't need him around to take your exams - you will be fine on your own. Look - you have nearly gotten through another day - build on this and get stronger from it. You can lay down and give up and say this is it, but of course it isn't. You are a pretty, loving and kind girl. He doesn't see that and more fool him, I say. Keep yourself busy hun - and walk away from people like this. Clabs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 Yeah i guess lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard71 Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 yeah your gorgeous, he is blind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtiarax Posted May 22, 2008 Author Share Posted May 22, 2008 Well maybe im not and he has found someone who is more better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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