knightNshiningarmor Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 really looking for those guys who have proposed and married or those considering it...whats your motives how do you feel or felt about it and what helped you in your decision. my relationship has been up and down and lot of that have been because of external factors I.E. distance, family, health issues...and so on...but me and my girlfriend have been on a good track for some time now granted i have my moments of doubt but ive been noticing the idea of marriage has been coming up more and more in conversation and its get me thinking a lot about it...im moving back to our hometown where she currently is and i have a strong feeling that me being closer is only going to inflame our passion we have for each other now and i can seriously see this coming up sooner rather then later. so basically just want to make this post an open discussion about all the facets that go into making that plunge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Two instances: I was going to court for a criminal matter and when my P.D. asked how long she knew me she said "five years" w/o hesitation. I'd known her for about six months. I thought "YES, thats my girl." Another time I was riding a bus to work and I was passing her building. We were on the phone together and I told her I was passing by, She ran to the window while on the fifth story and I saw her waving at my bus from her window. I knew then again that I loved her more than anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki71 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I saw it in her eyes. The classic I knew as soon as I saw her I had to be with her, and here we are 11yrs later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightNshiningarmor Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 Two instances: I was going to court for a criminal matter and when my P.D. asked how long she knew me she said "five years" w/o hesitation. I'd known her for about six months. I thought "YES, thats my girl." Another time I was riding a bus to work and I was passing her building. We were on the phone together and I told her I was passing by, She ran to the window while on the fifth story and I saw her waving at my bus from her window. I knew then again that I loved her more than anyone. that reminds me of a time recently when i told her i was coming by and although she didnt know it i could see her waiting, standing behind her metal screen door...when i told her she just blushed and said i couldnt wait to see you...another time the other day i told her id call when i got near to her place...well i didnt call but her brother was outside dowing some lawn work and the door was open so i walked in and there she was sitting with phone in hand just waiting for that call....good feeling isnt it...hehe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightNshiningarmor Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 but do or did you guys ever go through doubts...you know those deadly what ifs? or was it just unquestionable...for a long time my what ifs spawned from my assuming of her what ifs but lately shes been doing a good job of reassuring myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 We broke up for about six months. She came back after I began to talk to toher girls. So yes the doubt was there, but whats true came through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightNshiningarmor Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 We broke up for about six months. She came back after I began to talk to toher girls. So yes the doubt was there, but whats true came through. dude lionel we must have been separated at birth...ya me and my girl were together for like a year+ and we broke up and it wasnt till i successfully started managing two MLTR's that she really started coming back...lol...that break up was the best thing for me...i made so many gains in that period and completely changed my outlook on life esp towards the opposite sex and the dynamics of relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaBisquit Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 when he touched me it gave me the SHIVERS and i couldn't keep my hands off him also we enjoyed each others company even tho we weren't doing anything special we also broke up for awhile and got bacl together. u can also see it in the eyes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightNshiningarmor Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 whats up with this breaking up and getting back together trend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 whats up with this breaking up and getting back together trend. We all miss familiar booty.HAHAHA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightNshiningarmor Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 We all miss familiar booty.HAHAHA LoL i dont know...i guess it goes to say you really dont know what you had till you lost it philosophy. was it same for you guys the the dumper came back in a lower power position and the one who was doing the chasing appeared to have changed shoes?...or did it just level out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lionel Hutz Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Lets see; We broke up because she claimed we were too far apart among other things. I tried to fight it but she made her mind up. Ironically, and to my advantage, I began talking to another girl through work who was about 60 miles from where my ex at the time was. I added the new girl on "Myspace" and was chatting it up with her. My ex must have saw a comment to the new girl along the lines of "Im coming up there for business and we should go out." My ex called and blew a whistle on that real quick! She realised the distance excuse was nullified. HA, I did not mind though I wanted HER back. She said it made her sick when she thought I was going to be with another girl. Now we live happily ever after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixelPusher Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I can tell you how I did it wrong the first time, and it mainly came down to not knowing myself, what I wanted, or what marriage really was. We met in college, and I pretty much ignored ALL of the red flags, thinking I was in love. It was the next logical step for me, but I didn't give any thought to what I wanted out of the relationship and my life. She moved away for a job and in the 9-months we were apart, I mistook loneliness as true love. We hung on for 11-years, and the whole time I chose to ignore her anger, abuse, cheating as "things that you go through in marriage." I finally woke up. Now I've met the woman I truly will spend the rest of my life with. I adore her with all my heart. She has an amazing mind, a sharp wit, fantastic morals (not to be confused with any religious overtones), similar political views, etc. Not to mention a kickin' bod. LOL She is great with money, deals with conflict in a respectful manner and always wants to talk things out. She's quiet and introverted (like me) but not shy or lacking in confidence. In the two years we've been together, I'm amazed at what a REAL relationship should be. Everyone needs their space and everyone argues. But if your relationship is filled with a bunch of dramatic breakups and getting back together... that seems in the red-flag territory for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emailas Posted May 30, 2008 Share Posted May 30, 2008 I think you know he/she is the one if you are getting what you need and you are being appreciated for what you give to a relationship from that person. My fiance and I met at a wedding- I thought he was a terrible dancer and nothing more! I had broken up with this guy I was head over heels with a year before, but it was full of drama and make-ups/ breakups and I thought I could never love again. He told me recently that he knew he was going to meet "the one" at this wedding..this was when he was on the plane on the way to the wedding(???). I'm not one to believe in such things (and he isn't either, which is why it took me by surprise). For me, he is 'the one" because this relationship has given me the stability i need- not dependancy, but stability...and as time goes by I love him more and I love the way he loves me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfcommunist Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 My decision was kind of made for me... sort of I guess. When my Girlfriend at the time died, Her best friend (Who has also become a very dear friend of mine over that time) And I kind of ended up running to each other for support... I spent most of that year totally somewhere else in my head, I wasnt even really in the same world with the rest of us when I married the friend who is now my wife. Ultimately I ended up coming around, And found my self learning who my wife really was. I got lucky i guess, She turned out to be even better after i got to really know her. Kala was the best thing ever from 17-22 (5 Years of my life) and I miss her very badly to this day. She was a great person and didnt deserve what happened to her. Now rachel is the best thing in my life and hopefully I will never loose her, because honestly I can't go through that all over again. At any rate i think the defining moment that erased any doubts for me as to rather Rachel was the one i wanted to spen the rest of my life with had to be, When i told her On our wedding day that I wasn't sure if i could do this Because I was still in love with kala and don't know if i'll ever get over it. Rachel just looked at me and said "Well get through it together"... I KNEW this is the girl i wanted by my side for all time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NowandZen Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 For me, it was that when we were dating, I spent ALL my time thinking about her, waiting until we could get together again. I wanted to spend every minute with her. I couldn't imagine life without her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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