Gaining self-confidence?

[Pat Payne]

I'm 29, have been on one date in my life, and have few close friends. For ther moment, I'm still living at home (mostly because I don't know if I could afford, on my salary, any halfway decent place here in Los Angeles), while I go out, I don't tend to go to too many "hotspots". I don't know how to meet people.

 

A lot of my problems stem from very low self-confidence and self-esteem. I've never really had much in the way of self-love, outside of the fact that I'm proud of my writing skills. But outside of that, I feel unworthy or undeserving of happiness. And outside events when I do try to break out don't often help.

 

Whenever I even just say "hi" to most people, I get a look which seems to say "what are you, a retard?" and perhaps a flat, "don't wanna be bothered" "hi" back. Every time I get that reaction, my self-esteem goes into a tailspin. I've had a few online relationships which ended abruptky when the woman I'd been coresponding with stopped responding out of the blue, making me wonder what kind of a louse I must have been to her.

 

How do I get back some of this confidence? I'm at my wit's end. I just want to be happy with myself and confident enough to be able to approach people.

[now_better]

how about taking a night class on a topic that you've always wanted to learn more about, but haven't? or joining some kind of physicial fitness club (hiking clubs @ REI, triathlon training, surfing classes in santa monica, etc)?

 

i can relate a lot to what you're saying. where do i meet people?!?! i'm taking a night class twice a week and people are friendlier than you imagine once you get to know them. i also look for volunteer work i'm interested and do that when i get a chance. you just got to keep throwing yourself out there and find your fit in life.