Zampotne Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 I can understand why you might want to seem like you'll fight for her and want to win her back because you care about this girl.... but what if you do, it actually works, and then she does it again? I think there is a huge possibility that it would happen again. If she didn't care enough about you the first time to tell her ex to bugger off and stay with you, I doubt she'll care enough the second time around. In my opinion most relationships where people break up and then get back together don't work out. You're better off releasing yourself from the hold she has on you now, because if you stick around a girl like this it'll only get worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Yep-like I said, dont' try and decipher it. He did all those horrible things to her and psycho things to you and she went back? It's not a healthy situation for you to be in. It's obviously a pretty unhealthy relationship they have and I wouldn't get myself upset about thinking they are really happy together after all that. Same thign happened to me, my guy's ex cheated on him, refuses to associate with his friends, hates his father and has never shown interest in what he does with his life. Yet he feels he has to go back to her b/c she begged and pleaded when she found out he was moving on with me. It's not worth racking your mind to decipher. Let them wallow in their dysfucntional relationship. You're so doing the right thing by keeping your head held high and walking away. And do you really want to fight for her? I know you miss her, but after this, can you imagine being with her without thinking she might still be seeing the ex on the side? My guy kept telling me he didn't want his ex, he would turn off his phone b/c she would bug him so much and that he really wanted to be with me, but would always go back to saying he didn't know if he was going back to her or not. It just got worse and worse. Unless she makes a very valiant effort on her part to get YOU back, all fighting for her is going to do is make you feel like crap. Stay away from these two and do what everyone is telling you: go out with friends, TALK TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY ABOUT IT, make positive changes in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMango Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 You guys are great, thanks. Ill continue to take ANYONE'S thoughts comments and feedback because this is all helping me a lot more than I thought. Ofcourse im still a douche just sitting here waiting for her to change our facebook relationship status, and reading her little facebook status trying to figure out what it means. But Ive been here before and after longer relationships....I know ive got it bad, but ill bounce back up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Hey MrMango I am sorry for your sucky predicament fella - it is pretty lousy, isn't it. For now, I think you need to listen to the fantastic advice you have already been given on here - stay away and work on you. You'd also do well to keep away from Fartbook and the like because it will likely just wind you up in the long run. The important thing is you identify that you will get through this - give it some time and you will start feeling much more positive about your situation. Where are those pesky fast forward pills when you need em?! Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyblue1 Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 That sounds awful Ignore it i would say - sorry to hear that hun. You deserve better than that x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missingmymo Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 I'm so sorry for what you are going thru! Ignore her for sure! I'm kinda going thru the sames thing, except my ex didn't leave me to date his ex, it was to screw around and party with her.. Hard as it is you just need to get them out of your life. Although in the back of my head I just want him back, I know its not the right thing to do... Stay away, you can do better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 If you think you can handle it, delete her as a friend on Facebook so you can't see her page anymore. Don't you hate that thing? It's a hole that sucks people in, I swear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMango Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 This is just so messed up. Everything was good monday night when we hung out, and even yesterday afternoon we texted while I was at work and things seemed so fine. We were both looking forward to hanging out tonight. Then BAM she uncharacteristically doesn't return my text later that night, and she disappears all night (ovbiously hanging out with the ex) and everything is just flipped around 180 this morning. Its all "i love my ex, and im sorry this all happened" blah blah. how does this happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 I asked the same question. Her head isn't in a very good place right now, and being near her is just going to pull you down. Like I said in my previous posts, do not try and decipher her. She doesn't know what she wants and being around her in this state of mind is not good. It's cruel the way we can treat each other-be one way one day and then another the next. This is going to take time to heal from, and that's ok. Please talk to the people who love you and don't hold it in. But dont' talk to her about it b/c it's only going to make things worse. PM me if you need to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zampotne Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 This is just so messed up. Everything was good monday night when we hung out, and even yesterday afternoon we texted while I was at work and things seemed so fine. We were both looking forward to hanging out tonight. Then BAM she uncharacteristically doesn't return my text later that night, and she disappears all night (ovbiously hanging out with the ex) and everything is just flipped around 180 this morning. Its all "i love my ex, and im sorry this all happened" blah blah. how does this happen? Because she's a good liar. And a good faker. She wanted her ex the whole time or she wouldn't have run back -snap- like that! Do you really want to be with someone like that? You could never ever trust her. As genuine as she seemed to be, you'd be thinking "well things were great last time like this, and then she left me the next day" You'd lose your mind with worry. And that's not real happiness. No matter how much you think you care about her. She'd make you miserable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPainNoGain Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Should I just ignore it? . Does pinnochio have wooden balls ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMango Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 Ok this is going to upset a lot of people here. I ended up texting her last night and instead of her texting back, her ex texted me back threatning me, and how I better never contact her or talk to her ever again. So me being a bit under the influence and extreamly hurt by all thats transpired, I took him up on that challenge. He told me he was with her and a few friends at a local bar. So I grabbed two friends, rolled up and confronted them. I didnt look or really even see her. I saw him right away and as soon as he saw me he took his jacket off and came toward me. He threw a half ass wide punch that I side stepped and I slammed him to the ground. I jumped on him and within split seconds his friends tackled me off. Next thing I knew I was in a full nelson from the bouncer being thrown out. Now I got texts from him this morning about how she never liked me, and how he just got done banging her, and all that sweet bs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servedcold Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Well, you've had what lots of men would love to get, a legitimate chance to get physical with a whiny jerk of an ex who wheedled his way back into your GFs life like a little worm. He threatened you, challenged you basically, threw the first punch, so nothing you did was really wrong other than going to the bar in the first place. Mature, reasonable actions aside, I'd have done the same thing, but wouldn't have done it in a bar where the bouncer could interfere with some meaningful "face time." Sometimes you just have to be the caveman to preserve your dignity, sounds like you got away with it clean, no police or injuries, so good for you. So NOW, don't be tempted to make this about him just because of the confrontation. Nothing has changed, she's not worth your time or effort, just move on and let them be as they sound like they deserve each other. She will likely make him miserable, as she holds all the power in the relationship, and even though she went back to him, unless she's mental, has lost a ton of respect for him. He's still the same pathetic worm who begs and posts nude pictures on the net. They will not be happy, I assure you. It will not last and both of them will be miserable sooner rather than later. Walk away and live your life. Learn not to get emotionally involved with women who are recently broken up, especially if they are still allowing contact from a begging ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady00 Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 I think it's time to change your number. And hope that he doesn't take any legal action. What she did wasn't cool, but neither was what you did. It shows from the fact that she couldn't respond to you herself that she needs a man to speak for her...sounds like quite a catch At least now they can both be out of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeStrongBeHappy Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Walk away, walk away, walk away. What good is all this drama doing you? And the more you do this kind of thing, the more she stays the center of attention with two guys sqabbling over her. She dumped you for another guy. Hold your head up and walk away. You're too good for her, and she's a nasty little minx who was toying with two guys. Do you see a pattern here? She gets one boyfriend, then goes back to the other and gets the current boyfriend all upset. So she could spend years going back and forth between you getting all the attention and drama while you get cheated on and used. Walk away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taylor527 Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Sorry that happened to you.. How long have you two been together. Looks like you should just move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMango Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 She was with him for a year and a half. Me for about 4 months if you add everything together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Machiavelli Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Same situation as me, dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPainNoGain Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Same situation as me, dog. Nice screen name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgia00 Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Man that sucks. I'm sorry for you. Really I am. I was in your shoes last December. However, my ex and I had just broken up and I was dumb enough to have sex with him again. In the morning, I found all of these gifts for his ex (the one before me). He wrote her a card saying how she was his angel and how much he wanted a kiss from her for christmas...and I'm standing naked in his room reading this. Btw..I was brilliant for getting back together with him a month later. Just kidding. It's a mess. She rejected him and I supported him through the whole thing. Well, guess what. We broke up 3 days ago... The trust will never be the same. Please don't make the mistake I did. Better start moving on now then try to do it again later. Don't take it personally. It doesn't mean that her ex is a better person than you. Life just has a strange way of throwing us some gigantic curve balls at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMango Posted May 16, 2008 Author Share Posted May 16, 2008 Its nice seeing so many similar examples. Really helps me to think that things will get better for me. I am having a reall tough time right now though. I woke up early to the break up wednesday morning, had the scuffle with her ex wednesday night, and yesterday was a lot of disbelief, and shock that it wasnt true. I still believed that she'd call or text and fix things. Today is just hitting home HARD though. It is over, and this is the real deal. Id say theres a 99% chance I never see her again, and that 1% means it was an accident. She doesn't give a crap about that or me whatsoever. It hurts so badly how feelings change 180. We texted throughout work for hours everyday the past 2 1/2 months...now nothing. Im here missing that, her and everything...and shes probably not even giving it or me a second thought. Shes probably texting him all day now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancerdlk Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 i know that feeling... he's texting HER now.. staying with HER... lying on the couch and cuddilng with HER... kissing HER... all those kisses i took for granted... weak moment.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMango Posted May 16, 2008 Author Share Posted May 16, 2008 i know that feeling... he's texting HER now.. staying with HER... lying on the couch and cuddilng with HER... kissing HER... all those kisses i took for granted... weak moment.. Yep, its so tough. Especially confidence wise. You feel like you'll never find someone as good, let alone better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clabs Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 Hey MrMango Your confidence can take a bit of a knock during these sucky times. It is the most natural feeling in the world that you won't find anyone as good, let alone better. But your confidence will return - given a bit of time. But just remind yourself that this was all about her inadequecies and nothing that you have done wrong. Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
servedcold Posted May 16, 2008 Share Posted May 16, 2008 I think it's time to change your number. And hope that he doesn't take any legal action. What she did wasn't cool, but neither was what you did. The only successful legal action in this situation could be taken by the bar owner (and if bar owners sued every person who got in a scuffle, the bar would soon be empty, so nothing to worry about there). OP comes much closer than the ex/current BF to having a winning cause of action for civil assault or battery because ex/current threw the first punch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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