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Close friend-ticks all the right boxes for dating. Frustrated with my outlook...

independantgal

By independantgal
in Dating Advice

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independantgal Apprentice

independantgal

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New here people- Hey!

 

So, over the past month, something very upsetting happened to my family, I know a guy i always thought of as a friend...but because of this event and also getting to know each other much better over the past few months we have become very close.

 

Hes been by my side helping me through my problems no matter what, constantly texting me asking how im feeling, calling me and just generally being there and offering me support if I need it. It has made me really value him and I feel thankful that he is a part of my life. He also has an incredibly infectious personality...same sense of humour as me etc we just seem to click you know? I honestly don't feel I have ever met a nicer guy.

 

He made it pretty clear to me recently that he has feelings for me...although the problem is....I'm undecided as to how strong my feelings are for him or whether they are indeed there at all. Sometimes I think im experiencing feelings of attraction...others I think its more gratitude as a friend for the things he does for me. Also I'm not quite sure i'm ready for a relationship...I have a few issues I need to work on emotionally because of hurt from my ex before even being able to get to that stage. Although part of me is thinking "what if hes the right guy for me and I let him slip away?" He makes me see things differently and makes me feel valued...bringing out a side of my personality that I love and only he seems to be able to bring out.

 

I just have all these things going around in my head, I need to tread carefully with this situation... dont want to mess anything up.

 

Are these merely feelings of friendship or something more? Any advice you could offer me?

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independantgal Apprentice

independantgal

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I can see your point...I think one of my main issues may be that...well, after being hurt by my ex, when faced with a new potential love interest i become incredibly needy, I managed to contol it with the last person I dated although had to finish it because the whole thing was causing me too much stress...I dont want the same thing to happen again...could cause a lot of ill feeling

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DN Grand Master

DN

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I can see your point...I think one of my main issues may be that...well, after being hurt by my ex, when faced with a new potential love interest i become incredibly needy, I managed to contol it with the last person I dated although had to finish it because the whole thing was causing me too much stress...I dont want the same thing to happen again...could cause a lot of ill feeling

It is always a mistake to let a past relationship unduly influence a current or potential one. Learn from mistakes but don't let them inhibit you.

 

You are in danger of letting him slip away.

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DN Grand Master

DN

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You know the sentence "you are in danger of letting him slip away" seemed to alert something from within me...

 

The thought of him with another girl makes me jelous...

Well, that seems like a fairly strong indicator to me.
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drewciouS281 Enthusiast

drewciouS281

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well you have to be attracted to someone in order to take things to the next step but if you honestly admit that you have issues to take care of before thinking of another relationship than dont get involved with him. It will bring the relationship to failure on your end. Just keep hanging with him and let him know whats going on so he doesnt feel led on. Maybe by the time you deal with your skeletons you will have your final answer.

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