Two women, one weekend, a lot of weirdness and some sex

[kevinm]

So, this past weekend was about my bachelorettes. I first went out with Bachlorette #3, which turned out great. She's a really cool, laid back girl, fun to be around, beautiful, etc. I was worried about her because her emails weren't all that great, thought she wasn't paying attention, but face to face she's much better. This incidentially, is the same woman who looked in my shower and asked about my underwear and socks, the same woman who came home with me and we ended up having sex.

 

Date #2 with bachelorette #2 was well.... akward. I can appreciate someone is nervous, but this was over the top. It was clear speaking with her that she is a very smart woman, very smart. But at the same time her social skills were not very good. I could tell she was VERY uncomfortable with meeting me. So I did my best to break the ice... told her I was uncomfortable too, that I usually don't meet people over the internet, etc. This did not open her up at all. Then as we were talking about her job and then switched to my work, her attitude towards my job I felt was very much "Oh, that's nice. Not really a career, but whatever." She asked about my long term goals, then played devils advocate about why my ideas wouldn't work, immediately having me defend my position. Which on one hand all of this is fine, but on the other I thought was inappropriate for a first date.

 

After eating we went and played mini golf, which was good, I'm glad she didn't back down like bachelorette #3. But during this too were signs that troubled me. She got really annoyed with some kids that were behind us. "Where are those kids parents?" she said in a spiteful manner. I asked her if she didn't like kids or didn't like kids that were out of control. To which she said, "Both."

 

Now I'm not all about kids, but I realize children can be rowdy at times and am generally not annoyed by it as long as they aren't directly being a pain. It's not like these kids were beating us with thier clubs or trying to play the same hole at the same time or anything.... they were just behind us making noise and having fun... being kids.

 

So all in all, though I'll go out with #2 again, she's one step closer to the friendzone. Funny, if you were to ask me a week ago who I liked more I would have told you #2 over #3 easily. Now the tables have turned.

 

-Kevin

[annie24]

why not go out with #3? she sounds like she was a better match and better time for you than #2.

[Iceman26]

Ugh, don't go out with #2 again, she sounds like my ex girlfriend. Hang out with someone you can be comfortable with.

 

Just because #3 isn't a good emailer doesn't mean anything. I hate emails and would rather talk in person. It has to do with her personality style I am sure.

[ghost69]

in agreement with the others. #3

[servedcold]

If you feel put on the defensive on a first date, that's a bad sign. My last GF was like this constantly, but not from the start, took about two months of dating each other for it to get intolerable. Good for you for finding out fast.

[kevinm]

Okay, update after today... and my decision is clear.

 

Today after getting home from work I fed the dogs and fired up the computer to check my email. What do I see, 2 messages, one from each bachelorette.

 

The first one was from bachelorette #2, the strange date. What does she tell me? Oh, she's very nice... but generally speaking writes an excessively long letter that dances around the subject of friendzoning me.

 

The second email was from bachelorette #3, the date who ended up in my bed at the end of the night. What does she have to say? It was short, sweet, and right to the point. She tells me she's been thinking about me and wishes me a good week (she's out of town visiting family this week).

 

So, what do I do? I first write back an email to #3 and tell her I've been thinking about her today also (which I have) and tell her to have a good week and to give me a call when she gets back in town so we can hang out.

 

Then I send an email to #2, and I tell her very frankly, that I'm friendzoning her. Though I didn't use those words of course, my message did not dance around the subject.

 

So, I've made my choice... bachelorette #3.

 

-Kevin

[Brightest Dark]

Glad you have decided. That wasn't too hard, was it? It shows how initial judgements may be different after spending time with someone. I actually think you need more than one meeting to get a good judgement of someone because as you say the first meeting can have someone being awkward. Sometimes people can be really awkward just because they are shy and nervous. You shouldn't let that put you off them, as it takes some of us a little more time to get warmed up. And short emails also shouldn't put you off someone. You really need to get to know someone as a person.