staying alive Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 i stumbled onto this forum when i was looking for something to while up time, i have never regretted doing so.after reading threads on this forum, i realised i was not alone because i had gotten to stage where i was giving up on relationships and i thought my love life was cursed.very soon you will understand why. i met this chic two years ago, we went out for lunch. i found her very attractive and felt she would make a good soul mate.i tried to communicate a lot but she was just luke warm,so i just forgot i about her.exactly a year later, we started talking again.i was smitten by her beauty and wit i hastily proposed and she thought i was joking.i insisted and she eventually accepted.when things heat up, we both realised that our personalities were way different and that our needs were also different.i am a rather quiet and reserved person, she is outgoing,loves fun and, as i would find later on, loves playing mind games.despite the differences, i was convinced that we would work around our differences and build a long lasting relationship, boy i was wrong. eight months later, we agreed to settle down and she moved in the tenth month. a week after moving in, we started fighting over religion, she felt my church was too strict and suddenly her freedom and all that she knew had changed by joining my church.i was accommodative and agreed she go back to her church.a week later she told me she was moving out coz we were incompatible, not on religion but all sorts of issues.i tried talking her out of moving out but she inssted.i did not want any more fights so i let her leave.out of anger and frustration, i told that she was being unreasonable and had betrayed me.i tried to persuade her to come back but things got worse.she wouldn't pick my calls, ignore my text msgs and literally shut me out. she softened a little bit but maintained coldness.she started character assassination, she would tell me how incompatible we were and all sorts. a phone call one evening ended the wholething.i called her up but told me off, said she didn't have anything to with me anymore, said i wasn't her type of man and that she was looking for a man in a certain mould, but not my type..i answered back that it was about time and told her i was not gonna change into a mould that i wasn't comfortable with,if anything, we should bent over backwards for echother 50/50, not 75/25 or othewise.she insisted i should be the one to change. to cut a long story short, i filed for divorce and she consented. i was hurt that i put everything into a relationship and she never gave a hoot.i became bitter and felt useless.for a longtime, i struggled with bitterness and each time i felt like spiting her in every posible way.sometimes i think about what she did to me and it just drives me nuts. although i have tried to erase her from my thoughts, i sometimes find myself thinking about her, i ask my self is this normal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
npc24 Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 very normal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PushingDaisies Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Yes it is normal, someone who had such a big impact on your life is bound to play on your mind a bit. I was with my ex for 7 months compared to your 2 years and he still walks around my mine. It will pass and you will find someone else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana0120 Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Yep, it's normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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