love graph

[gurlygurl17]

Has anyone heard about this?

"...the conclusions of Professor Cindy Hazan of Cornell Uni., N.Y.- based on 5,000 interviews accross 37 cultures and medical tests on couples..."

men and women are biologically and mentally..are "in love" for only 30 months(2.5 years) its like a chemical in ur brain..once thats over couples have either parted or decided that they are easy enough with each other to stay together. My teachers said after this stage of love, its all about work and a lot harder to keep a relationship..

 

What do you guys think

[blindfold]

well... there is a lot of passion in the first years... but,from my experience, it is possible to be in love after that. and that "in love" phase comes and goes if you love someone - it may not be there ALL the time, like in the beginning, but you know you've taken things a step further, and are much more connected to the other person...it's wonderful.

[JeckyllNHyde]

This theory is what always scares me just a bit. I haven't ever had a long term relationship so far so I wouldn't know how it goes.

I do know one thing from what I have heard from friends and read on here: 2 people in a commited relationship need to keep working at the relationship if they want to stay together and actually WANT to stay together too. It doesn't just "happen" naturally like in the beginning.

 

I am also a bit scared for when me and my bf go thru this, but somehow I feel secure that we will make it past.

 

To answer the original question: yes I have heard of it and similar theories. It seems to ring true from what I have observed.

[Aleadragonhawk]

I've heard it too, but that sounds like a relatively small sampling of data. Are there other studies backing it up?

[AwdreeHpburn]

There ARE chemicals in the brain.

 

We can prove what those chemicals do.

 

We can prove when chemicals imbalance.

 

We know where emotions are controlled. Meaning, in which part of the brain.

 

We know where memories are stored.

 

If one is "still" in love after 5 years or "more" in love after 5 years, either you have a chemical imbalance, which in this case works in your favour, or you are confusing memory and comfort with "love." Which, either way serves to work well in a long-term relationship.

 

HOWEVER, we ALL establish long term connections and profound feelings for lots of people. Mother, father, kids, spouses, friends etc.

 

Romanticising love at first sight, the homeymoon phase of relationships, or happily ever after, is a common thing as well - helps us fall in love and procreate.

 

Doesn't cheapen anything to know the truth people. The more informed we are, the better we know how to cope.

 

Knowing we have to work to keep our relationships healty isn't novel or scientific. Those of us who have lived away from our parents longer than we ever lived with them know, even THAT relationship can sometimes be "work."

 

What would you prefer? Being blind sided by a sudden and seemingly un-explainable descent in feelings or an understanding of it all going in?

 

But ya can't say, "I don't buy it" unless you are just willing to say that science is all bogus and un-buy-able. Which would then apply to other science proven things like.... gravity, oxygen.....etc.

[sourpeach]

after x amount of months your brain stops producing that particular "newly in love" hormone and replaces it with something else.. half the time it will be replaced with an attachment related hormone, other times with something else that would make you want to find someone new.

 

and there are psychologically speaking.. 3 kinds of love.. passionate love, companionate love... and i forget the 3rd. "platonic" love maybe.. the 1st sometimes turns into the 2nd.. via that hormone shift

 

this is psych 101 stuff...

[hodgo]

why are you turning love - the most glorious yet heart wrenching thing in the world - into science??? come on! i know science makes sense, dont get me wrong i've grown up with a scientist, but wheres the faith in fate?