S agapo Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 Put aside what has gone wrong, I really miss him. Its not just missing having a relationship and having someone special in my life, I REALLY miss him. He's all I think about, and how silly it may sound, I feel theres a part of my heart thats missing- not there. Its been a year now since we broke up. Being on my own doesn't help. God, i really want him back, and there ain't nothing I can do about it anymore. I did all the chase. And he is out there, god knows what is ''new'' with him. And what he is thinking. It shouldn't matter, I know that. BUt I miss him and i want him back. Just venting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flooglebinder Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 I miss her and I always will. I wish I knew why, I dont understand it. So I know excactly how you feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cristal Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 It is not uncommon. I think that you still have these lingering feelings for him because no one that have made you smile, has entered the picture since you broke up. And some people just leaves an edible mark in your life, which in some cases can take years to erase. That mark will start to erase when you meet someone else who makes your heart beat. In the meantime, you just have to acknowledge it's presense and try to move on with your life as best as you can, until such time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 7, 2008 Author Share Posted May 7, 2008 One day if not already he will have met someone else, and that gets me down i wish he would call! This is getting me down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 One day if not already he will have met someone else, and that gets me down i wish he would call! This is getting me down It sounds like you are having a down day. It is normal to miss someone who meant so much to you and it is okay to have times when your heart still aches. Try to do something positive for yourself to take the edge off of the heartache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 8, 2008 Author Share Posted May 8, 2008 My down days seem to be every day! I really miss him and its choking me up right now. There is a thread here about if they think about us. I am wondering if he does for me. Maybe he does; what I dunno! I was speaking to my mum yesterday, as much as want to hear from him I ain't going to make any other further contact. Ive given up now. I really believed in us, in him and saw it worth-while trying. Maybe i tried tooooo hard wanting to work it out and invested too much emotional time for me, and pushed him away. But at the end of the day, what ever was said (and on my behalf too) he gambled with me when he asked for space (for what ever reasons he only knows why he needed space) a year ago, and really didn't respect my feelings, especially from his recent out of the blue contact couple months ago, which i can only assume he lied telling me via text he sent me a card during Valentines week in Feb.... Oh well. My dreams of many... Last night I had a dream I dialled his work number, he picked up the call, I heard his deep voice at the other end when he said hello, and then I put the phone down. I know it was a dream, a small silly dream. I have these ramdom thoughts going through my mind and I try hard to void them. But I wonder if he does think about me, and does ever regret or wanting to make real contact, or even, I wonder if he is happy.. I don't have any power of other peoples feelings; just my own. I wish he gave some thought, and realized we were good enough for each other. Yes, I haven't met anyone. I think the only way to forget is if I do meet someone and find that spark again. But it ain't as easy. I just don't want to date someone for the sake of it. But I haven't even dated or what not since I broke up with my ex. I just miss him so much (wonder if he does for me) I just want to sweetly tell him that; like b4 when we were dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 I am sorry you feel so down. It is good that you are not going to make further contact with him. He broke things off with you thereforeeee he has to be the one to call and make a sincere effort at reconciling so that there is no doubt about the intentions to reconcile. Does any dumper miss the dumpee...it depends on the dumper....it is a waste of time wondering if your ex misses you because that takes away energy from your life and gets you into this funk. At the end of the day it is irrelevant because if he misses you and doesn't do anything concrete to make things right then who cares what his feelings are if they are not backed up by actions. If he misses you enough he will want to make amends and rekindle the relationship and then he will be in touch. You can wish all you want but that doesn't change the fact that he is the one who needs to follow through since he was the one who broke things off. It is wise not to date anyone just for the sake of dating...too many people do that and it just leads to them hurting someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 8, 2008 Author Share Posted May 8, 2008 I really appreciate what u say CAD. Maybe it is really hitting on me hard that the chances of him ever wanting to get back together or even thinking about me and missing me are fading away. I just can't see the opposite happening, espcially if he is on a dating site for what ever reasons. I can wish as much as I want all the time, and I know I ain't doing much good. I understand it is over, and compared how I was about a year ago,I have got better, just now I am missing him terribly I keep teling this to myself, HE knows where I am. I have done what I can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 You did what you can during the relationship...if you were attentive and showed him you cared and he dumped you anyway, then the onus is on him to come to you. The February thing is not good enough because he never actually sent you anything. That was just a little game on his part to see if you would declare yourself to him without him having to do anything concrete. It is good that you didn't fall for it. If he wants you, he will not give you subtle hints to try to make YOU come and get him in order to feed his ego...HE will be the one to come and get you...HE will swallow his pride and do what is necessary to make things right..no trickery, no games...just honesty, integrity and doing what is right and compassionate and kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 8, 2008 Author Share Posted May 8, 2008 You did what you can during the relationship...if you were attentive and showed him you cared and he dumped you anyway, then the onus is on him to come to you. 1-2 weeks before were fine, then something was said or whatever and then he asked for space. Didn't wana work things out or even talk. The past is the past I know, and I don't want to care anymore what happened what went on during the break up. I wish I said nothing, I wish things were different. Right now I wish he would want back and like u say ''If he wants you, he will not give you subtle hints to try to make YOU come and get him in order to feed his ego...HE will be the one to come and get you...HE will swallow his pride and do what is necessary to make things right..no trickery, no games...just honesty, integrity and doing what is right and compassionate and kind''. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 8, 2008 Author Share Posted May 8, 2008 I cannot concentrate at work today, plus something else is boring me since last night which I think is connected, but I am not sure about that. Today is a messy day and the days ahead are gonna be sticky. I am so tired from all this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 I cannot concentrate at work today, plus something else is boring me since last night which I think is connected, but I am not sure about that. Today is a messy day and the days ahead are gonna be sticky. I am so tired from all this. What is bothering you? Why do you think it is connected? I don't understand what you mean by messy and sticky days? You will be okay...you are just in a funk right now but it will pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 8, 2008 Author Share Posted May 8, 2008 meant 'bothering' me, not boring! sorry my mistake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 8, 2008 Author Share Posted May 8, 2008 What is bothering you? Why do you think it is connected? I don't understand what you mean by messy and sticky days? You will be okay...you are just in a funk right now but it will pass. Just someone and something that i believe and have a feeling about but have no prove yet cos it could be nothing at all. I'd rather not talk about it, but it has bothered me for over a year now. But since last night if not few weeks ago, those ''feelings'' of thinking have popped back up, and I have the aniexty back. Thats all I am saying. But I have just let a little steam out to relief my mind of this. Right now I am not focus on my work here at work, and i am near to tears of the whole situation regards to my ex, and how much I am missing him and am sorry we didn't work out. I need to let out a good cry. I was so open with my feelings towards him and now I feel trapped I cannot tell him how much I miss him, cos that was what i wanted to say in my last email which didn't. Bcos why should I express my deeper feelings- again? I told him either basically if he wanted in or out! No reply from him btw as I have mentioned in a previous threads. That what hurts. Where did his feelings go and holding him back?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 I am sorry you are feeling so sad..and sorry that I can't help you get over your sadness. (((((hugs))))). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 8, 2008 Author Share Posted May 8, 2008 Thanks u've been a great help The aniexty of loosing him for good and there isn't a chance unless HE wants it. Guess u never know what is round the corner and what life may surprise you, But I don't believe anything right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 Thanks u've been a great help The aniexty of loosing him for good and there isn't a chance unless HE wants it. Guess u never know what is round the corner and what life may surprise you, But I don't believe anything right now. I understand. I think it is better to assume you have lost someone for good and conduct your life according to that assumption. If they prove you wrong then that's great..but for practical purposes if someone dumps you, it is better to assume they are gone for good because hope just leads to disappointment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romantic Fool Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 One day if not already he will have met someone else, and that gets me down i wish he would call! This is getting me down Have you thought of initiating contact? Its been a year. I think the NC thing has been tried. Maybe try LC obviously you still have strong feelings for this person and be truthful to yourself and contact him. Tell him how you feel and that you'd like to try a "fresh start" see what he says he might be waiting for you like you are for him. I don't know the circumstances of your breakup, but very possibly this is the case. Just some advice from someone who is in your shoes....Its been 10yrs for me, but I have had rekindled relationship with my situation only for me to distrust again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 Have you thought of initiating contact? Its been a year. I think the NC thing has been tried. Maybe try LC obviously you still have strong feelings for this person and be truthful to yourself and contact him. Tell him how you feel and that you'd like to try a "fresh start" see what he says he might be waiting for you like you are for him. I don't know the circumstances of your breakup, but very possibly this is the case. Just some advice from someone who is in your shoes....Its been 10yrs for me, but I have had rekindled relationship with my situation only for me to distrust again. He completely shut me out for no good reason or explanation. I am not angry anymore, just really upset bcos he never seemed the type to do this. I dunno what was going on in his mind and in his heart at the time and even now but I feel he did push me away even if I did say a few things out of frustration when I was upset with him when i noticed a change in him and when he asked for space in a LDR couple days after we had that talk and he started to ignore afterwards. Way i see it he didn't really give us a chance, and afterall he was the man in the relationship. I did all the begging and wanting him to see what he was loosing etc etc. I started no contact quite late, i just kind of gave up in trying months afterwards. Haven't spoken or seen him over a year now WELL, couple of months ago, out of the blue, he text me somethin asking if I received something in the post and telling me also he was off on holiday. I didn't get anything from him and I didn't wish him well on his trip. Instead I was blantant in telling him what I thought - that he was fishing for information. Well, my big mistake after all my feelings that I tried to settle down came rushing back, and I sent him a email how I felt, and that I wanted and if he wanted to give us a second chance to get in touch with me.. WEll, he didn't get back to me even if my email came accross a ultimatum and a bit hostile The main point of sending the email (bcos he didn't pick up my call) was to understand why and what intensions they were for him to suddenly text me out the blue and NOT to follow anything solid. It was not fair on me. At the end I told him in my email that I didn't want him to bother me again if he didn't see us happening and for us to start fresh with a clear mind and heart, and I wished him all the best and hope he will find the happiness he wants. We are both back on the dating site were we met. what I truly wana say is how much I miss him. I know I didn't say that on my last email and I am kinda glad I didn't. How many times do I have to put my feelings out?! and not to get anywhere! He knows where I am i really want us back. I want him to want If he truly wanted to get back together, what ever I said as the dumpee, he would of looked beyound my words and understand my feelings, and non of what I said would hurt him if that was the case Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 I think you have done everything you can...you laid your cards out on the table and there is nothing more you can do. If he wants back then he needs to own up to his actions/inactions which wrecked things between the two of you and come back with a different, more positive and committed attitude towards you and the relationship. You can't make him want to do that...he has to be the one to come to that mindset. The only thing you can do is continue carrying on with your life. As I said before, if he really wants you, he will make it very crystal clear that he is committed to making it work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S agapo Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 I think you have done everything you can...you laid your cards out on the table and there is nothing more you can do. If he wants back then he needs to own up to his actions/inactions which wrecked things between the two of you and come back with a different, more positive and committed attitude towards you and the relationship. You can't make him want to do that...he has to be the one to come to that mindset. The only thing you can do is continue carrying on with your life. As I said before, if he really wants you, he will make it very crystal clear that he is committed to making it work. and you are 100% right. Regardless if i wana try again But I have to stop somewhere! Thank you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 and you are 100% right. Regardless if i wana try again But I have to stop somewhere! Thank you x You may want to try again..but he was the one who dumped you thereforeeee he also has to want to try again...and he has to let you know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I sent you a PM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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