Bi, But Only For The Right Girl

[miah]

O.K., I'm back. I made the CD and was very careful not to put any "obvious" songs, but some excellent music nonetheless.

 

So last night I show up at the gym all excited, looking forward to a great repoire then giving her the CD after class.

 

I was the first person in the hall (got there about 15 min. early), and usually people start to trickle over around this time. The only other girl who came over was this one chick who seems to be quite chummy with S**R. Well, this is no big deal in it's own right, but as she walks up, she doesn't even look over at me, I'm already ready to smile and say "hi" and she literally acts as though she's in the hall alone.

 

Well, I surely could have brushed off her rudeness except for what happened next. A few minutes later S**R walks up all peppy and cute and happy. I was sitting on bench, the other girl was standing. S**R smiles, says hi and asks me how I am, yadda, yadda. Then, just like that, proceeds to COMPLETELY turn her back away from me and proceed to get into full-on conversation with this other girl. I was beyond mortified and felt like the hugest dorky fool that has ever walked the face of the earth.

 

During class I just went through the motions, at one point, she asked me if I was alright and I just gave a half smile and nod saying I was "fine".

 

Her hour class and 1/2 hour class run back to back, so I try to do them both. When the 1/2 hour class started, she asked me if I was O.K. again, or was I feeling sick or something.

 

I told her I was "just annoyed" at which she instantly asks, "At me?!?...did I do something?" Of course I said no then made a joke like, "yeah, it's all your fault and I don't think I can ever forgive you". Then just kinda laughed about it and told her I was just having a moody day and she said, "yeah, I know all about those moods".

 

Needless to say, I couldn't bear to give her the CD. Even though I am attracted to her, the thing that really bothers me the most is that I got the vibe last night that I could never qualify as someone she even would be friends with.

 

I know this is redundant, but she has referred to me as "beautiful" quite a handful of times and I have never heard her say this to anyone else. So, even though it's a Loooong-shot, it is possible I MIGHT make her a bit uneasy too?

 

I've been on the verge of tears all day about this, especially because I'm so crappy about hiding my emotions and definitely don't want to go in again tonight with a long face...Help:sad:

[miah]

any advice before it's time for me to go to the gym???? pretty please

[anggrace]

Giver her the cd! Whats the worst that could happen?

[miah]

After what happened yesterday, I just feel so self-conscious that I'm afraid my nerves will show when I'm standing there face to face trying to seem non-chalant as if making CD's is just something I do on a regular basis for random people in my life.

 

Then after I do give it to her, will she feel awkward or will it help establish more of a connection? I'm almost too afraid to find out. Ahhh...I just wish I could totally be myself around her!!!

[oceanview]

I've been in your shoes before. I know where you are coming from but the hardest part is trying. For all she knows you're giving her the cd because you felt bad for being moody. I've done the exact same and it really helped. Scary but you can do it! If she gets mad/weird because someone thought enough to burn a cd for her then maybe you shouldn't waste your time.

[samantha20]

I've just written in another post about how I feel so nervous around this woman that I have a crush on, that I come accross as rude because I can hardley bring myself to talk to her. Maybe that's why she was rude?

[miah]

Whew...lots to tell!

 

Well, I decided to just do the second class instead of both. I went in w/ the CD in my pocket, waiting to see how everything went before giving it to her.

 

As soon as I walked toward the door, she instantly approached me and asked about yesterday. She said she just, "had to know". I totally was NOT expecting immediate confrontation like that, so I told her everything is fine now, but that I'd tell her all about it after class. She said, "good", then hugged me!

 

Of course, during the whole class all I can think of is how I'm going to tell her why I was pissed yesterday. I was excited that she cared enough to ask, but not sure how much I should say.

 

After class, she just turned to me and basically asked me to tell her the truth

 

So, I took a deep breath and told her about getting annoyed because of the turned back situation.

 

She was like, "OMG...that was totally rude, I am so sorry (insert hug)", then proceeds to tell me that she did think that may have been why i was upset. Then we just started talking about how we both are VERY analytical and internalize, etc...

 

She then tells me she wants me to know that she thinks of me as more than just someone who shows up to her class, she considers me her friend. that's what I thought to, I told her, that's whay I was so thrown off about the bench thing, like maybe I was wrong to think we were friends.

 

Then she kinda mumbled (thought out loud) about how she would love to hang out, but what if she's" like, "hey, I just come to your class". I kinda took that as her saying she would like to hang out, but felt awkward about bringing it up.

 

Then, I whipped out the CD, we hugged (again), chatted a few more minutes and when she turned away, she was bouncing and making squealy giggly happy noises (which was far cuter than it sounds);

 

So....now what...I'm totally not good as this kind of thing, so all advice will be appreciated!

[Catdancer]

You did it! Congratulations! You made her a gift that made her feel good, you found out that she considers you a friend (not some joe blow), and you found out that she wants to hang out with you outside of class! AWESOME!!!

 

You can now do the happy dance!

 

As for the next move, just wait. Give her time to listen to her CD and let her come to you. Then bring up the subject of grabbing a drink, or carrot juice or what ever you both have in common. Good job!! I am patting you on the back right now! lol