Journal - Back from maternity leave.

[Alezia]

Tomorrow marks the end of my "maternity leave". I say that in quotes because I never actually had a maternity leave, as that includes a maternity leave salary. I am starting work and school on Tuesday. Luka is starting the day care tomorrow.

 

I figured tomorrow would be a great time to start on working on bringing myself back to real life. I've been wanting to lose weight and get in shape for so long but just have not gotten the motivation to do it. As a matter of fact, I think I just made it worst.

I also want to get Luka bapstised in the near future. I sent an email to my aunt in order to arrange a time for the christening. (I think that is the correct term?)

 

I also had a talk with the boyfriend last night about marriage. It's been almost a year since I got pregnant and figured the pregnancy/getting settled with baby phase was over with and could start thinking a bit more about it. Well the only thing he can tell me about it, which I almost had to force out of him was that he was not ready to get married. Now I'm not sure what I have to do... move out? keep a foot out of the door? or should I just wait like an idiot? I do feel like he should *know* by now... sure we have our fights but nothing will ever be perfect. If he is waiting until we don't fight anymore, then he can forget getting married in the first place.

 

It seems like I just don't know where to focus on anymore. I guess I should write a list down for myself to put everything in order.

[Alezia]

My Goals:

 

1. Lose my baby weight and "extra" that I gained post-labor. I really need some motivation blah!

2. Start going back to the gym, I stopped going in the last month and have less energy.

3. Baptize Luka and organize the reception.

4. Finish my Summer class & finish my Bachelors in the Fall.

5. Decide what to do with this "marriage" crap. Maybe I'm actually better off without it now?

6. Meet new people/mothers in the area.

7. Finish off the wardrobe I started.

8. Hang out with some friends I haven't seen in a while.

9. Learn to properly invest my money.

10. Learn how to make bentos =D

[Alezia]

First Day: May 5th 2008

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It's almost 1am, and I'm giving a nightly feeding to my beautiful baby Luka. I hoped on the scale to remove my dreaded "what is my weight now" terror. This was supposed to take the edge off of the fear of my initial weight-in tomorrow morning but just made it worst. I'm a big 143lbs, great >_<. that means i have more than to lose make it>

 

I just wish baby would finish his bottle so I can go to bed. The morning will come soon... eugh which just means my initial weigh-in. I figure I'll weigh in once each week at the same time w/ the same clothes.

 

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Official weigh in: 142lbs *beurk*

 

Brought Luka to the babysitter this morning. I'm a bit worried on how happy he will be and how he will be taken care of but I suppose that's normal. I'm soo determined to do this eating right / exercizing. I don't believe in low-carb diets or anything like that. Just eating healthy and watching my portions should do just fine.

 

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I hate cleaning... if they charge 15$/day for day care, maybe they charge 15$/day for cleaning your house. I'm probably fantasizing at this point =) It seems I always have to start over again.... I did the dishes, and I'll have to do them tomorrow. I'm always the one doing the dishes and I hate hate them!! lol!! I'm going to have to clean the bedroom and the rest of my work clothes for tomorrow since that's when I'm starting. All the baby clothes have to be done too.... >=( this never ends!

 

My list of cleaning:

1. Do the dishes (X)

2. Pass the robot vacuum cleaner - Heaven sent down to earth (X)

3. Mop the kitchen floor (X)

4. Re-arrange the kitchen drawers

5. Clean up bedroom and put dirty clothes in basket (X)

6. Arrange / sort clothes drawer and makeup desk.

7. Sort baby clothes and clean baby room.

8. Do robot maintenance (X)

 

Eugh, the whole bleach thing made me dizzy, I think that's enough cleaning for today.