ghost69 Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 i get asked that stuff all the time. i never let it bother me ... ever. basic questions if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Definitely not one of my hobbies...I cook because I have to not because I like it! I think I would like cooking more if I could just cook and then wave a magic wand and everything would be cleaned up! Not my hobby either--I HATE cooking. But for a lot of people, it's a hobby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I like when a man has an interest in cooking, some skills, and can get into the whole process. Cooking together ...warm fuzzy feeling, fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anggrace Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 If I put myself in the other shoes...I would not be thrilled if a guy asked me right of the bat if I can cook. If he's interested in small talk or my hobbies, why be so specific to the cooking thing? Im not saying it would be a deal breaker or upset me, I just think it can give off the wrong message. Id take it as him really asking, "so are you going to cook for me?" But hey, maybe I read in to things a little too much. As far as the job thing, I do see the importance of that. What you're working life is like can greatly effect your personal life. But I would ask about his job in general first. Hopefully Id then get a sense if he was happy or not. If I didn't I might wait till the third or so date to ask specifically how he felt about it. A question like that is pretty personal and Id rather him be more comfortable with me before expecting him to answer openly and honestly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boo121 Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 What's next? Is asking your name off limits? You gotta lighten up. You seem like a ball of anxiety. Suddenly its tough love here on this forum! He's just asking why some women ask these questions. In fact he's doing pretty well from what ive read, he's dating a lot of girls, putting himself out there - good job CD. These questions are just to find out who you are as a person - nothing more. Just the same when you ask someone where they are from etc. small talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Suddenly its tough love here on this forum! He's just asking why some women ask these questions. In fact he's doing pretty well from what ive read, he's dating a lot of girls, putting himself out there - good job CD. These questions are just to find out who you are as a person - nothing more. Just the same when you ask someone where they are from etc. small talk. Sometimes you gotta break it down boo. Hopefully he knows I have his best interests at heart. We are all waiting to hear a success story out of CD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 5, 2008 Author Share Posted May 5, 2008 Do you like to cook would sound a little better but not much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeitgeist Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 What I don't understand is how ANY guy doesn't know how to cook. Seriously, it's not that difficult, for something that earns you major points with the women. No one says you have to be a world class chef. Just learn a dish or two that YOU yourself like to eat. Practice it until you could do it with your eyes closed. Voila. Done. Check it off the list. Good skill to have under your belt for the dates AND you benefit directly yourself (cooking is healthier AND tastier than your average prepared foods). If you can't cook to the point that you can't even claim ONE decent dish, I think what it says about a guy is that he's incredibly lazy. Keep in mind also that these questions may also be because your date is trying to relate to you on something. Is it any different when a guy asks a girl "Do you like sports?". There's nothing wrong with that because if they do, great! You have something to talk about and maybe even a plan for a future date. If you're feeling annoyed by the question, it's probably because you feel inadequate about it. So in that case, why not do something about it?? Learn to cook. It's not rocket science. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 6, 2008 Author Share Posted May 6, 2008 If the question was asked in a way like-"DO YOU LIKE TO COOK? Then it doesn't come off as a questionarre Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
volpe Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I do ask those questions if they aren't apparent. But not necessarily on a first date. If conversation is going naturally, then it will be apparent to me if he likes his job. I only date men that enjoy their job, because they tend to be happier, more passionate, and motivated! The way they talk it is obvious. Cooking... yeah, that is important. But I don't ask like a questionaire. I wait to see if he cooks for me or if he is expecting me to cook for him. It's not a prerequisite, but I have to admit, it makes him much sexier if he knows how to take care of himself and that some days he would cook for me as a treat. But asking on a first date... No... I'm more interested in him just generally as a person, those answers will come later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 6, 2008 Author Share Posted May 6, 2008 I only cooked for a female ONCE, it was a 100 years ago when I lived at home with my mom and she went on a vacation. I had someone come over and made Baked chicken, Rice, and Peas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaylaJoy Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 in a word??? "conversation" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 6, 2008 Author Share Posted May 6, 2008 Well i'm about to call a girl for the first time right now and if she askes me if I cook I will dive right out my bedroom window-lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Well i'm about to call a girl for the first time right now and if she askes me if I cook I will dive right out my bedroom window-lol ok, good luck. but you've never answered my question..... what exactly ARE you looking for in a woman? what qualities/characteristics (beyond looks) do you want her to have? an outdoorsy woman? a woman who appreciates the arts? one that is traditional and wants to be a stay at home mom or do you want a career woman? i think as long as you don't know what you are looking for, you're going to just continue to get irritated by small things instead of looking at big picture compatibility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I only cooked for a female ONCE, it was a 100 years ago when I lived at home with my mom and she went on a vacation. I had someone come over and made Baked chicken, Rice, and Peas Sounds yummy...now I am hungry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 6, 2008 Author Share Posted May 6, 2008 ok, good luck. but you've never answered my question..... what exactly ARE you looking for in a woman? what qualities/characteristics (beyond looks) do you want her to have? an outdoorsy woman? a woman who appreciates the arts? one that is traditional and wants to be a stay at home mom or do you want a career woman? i think as long as you don't know what you are looking for, you're going to just continue to get irritated by small things instead of looking at big picture compatibility. Someone who likes to laugh, go out and stay in, intelligent and openminded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 ok, good luck. but you've never answered my question..... what exactly ARE you looking for in a woman? what qualities/characteristics (beyond looks) do you want her to have? an outdoorsy woman? a woman who appreciates the arts? one that is traditional and wants to be a stay at home mom or do you want a career woman? i think as long as you don't know what you are looking for, you're going to just continue to get irritated by small things instead of looking at big picture compatibility. LOL Annie, do you mean good luck on his dive out the window? LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
volpe Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 I only cooked for a female ONCE, it was a 100 years ago when I lived at home with my mom and she went on a vacation. I had someone come over and made Baked chicken, Rice, and Peas wow, a hundred years old and still getting game! without cooking to tops! you got some skills! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 6, 2008 Author Share Posted May 6, 2008 well it's confirmed, she just emailed me and told me where to meet her and I'm probably going to be nervous later on today. My first date since january and the place I'm meeting her at is not my idea place but I'm just trying to make things easier for her because she works near that book store. In my opinion the area is too CONGESTED for a first date but I have to just suck it up and get through it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 well it's confirmed, she just emailed me and told me where to meet her and I'm probably going to be nervous later on today. My first date since january and the place I'm meeting her at is not my idea place but I'm just trying to make things easier for her because she works near that book store. In my opinion the area is too CONGESTED for a first date but I have to just suck it up and get through it POSITIVE ATTITUDE...keep thinking positve, not negative or else you will be in a state when you actually meet her. Good luck and have fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 yeah, have fun. So, where are you meeting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 6, 2008 Author Share Posted May 6, 2008 yeah, have fun. So, where are you meeting? at a bookstore and it's a park accross the street Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_win Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 well it's confirmed, she just emailed me and told me where to meet her and I'm probably going to be nervous later on today. My first date since january and the place I'm meeting her at is not my idea place but I'm just trying to make things easier for her because she works near that book store. In my opinion the area is too CONGESTED for a first date but I have to just suck it up and get through it I think you really need to become a bit more flexible in your thinking and be openminded just like you are hoping to meet in a girl! Start thinking more positive. Instead of being so critical of her choice of place to meet - why not be excited and enthused that you are having an opportunity to meet a new person? I think your critisism and negative attitude could lead to no repeat dates if it comes accross as clear as it does in this thread. Life is fun, loosen up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 at a bookstore and it's a park accross the street sounds like a cool choice. I'm anxious to hear how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 6, 2008 Author Share Posted May 6, 2008 well I can't say I will be shocked if this doesn;t work out today because I'm not going to be looking my best like I want to 1. I was hoping to get a haircut but the barber at my job never showed up 2. I'm kind of a chunky guy so I'm not a huge fan of having my shirt TUCKED in when I go on a first date The plan for the new warm season was for me to have a new summer shirt on with a nice fresh haircut and that won't be the case today. But, I will just go in and try to have fun and not get too nervous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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