CarnelianButterfly Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I totally agree its just small talk. These are not a deep probing questions. Do you get upset if she talks about the weather? I'm sure loads of women do that, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Maybe she is asking b/c she wants to know if you're an independent man who can take care of himself, which is a very good trait to look for when you're a woman on the search. Maybe she's asking b/c she wants to know if one day, just one day, you'll be cooking together or going out to eat constantly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 4, 2008 Author Share Posted May 4, 2008 Nothing is wrong with the questions, I just think it's odd for a FIRST CONVERSATION Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 What is ideal for you on the first conversation then? What is a good thing to ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Nothing is wrong with the questions, I just think it's odd for a FIRST CONVERSATION Then what should be discussed in a first convo? What topics would you not be upset by? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 OK - look, I can see why you named yourself ConfusedDater but the confusion is being caused by yourself. Stop overthinking things, stop taking offence where none is intended and lighten up your attitude and conversation. Then you might find that dating is fun and interesting and nowhere near as confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lowconfidence Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Well I'm thinking I'm being asked this because of my age becausde I didn't get asked these questions when I was 24/25. It just started since I been in my 30's Actually those are excellent small talk questions to ask. Hey, get used to it. You are older and should be more responsible. It's not odd for women to ask this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 4, 2008 Author Share Posted May 4, 2008 Then what should be discussed in a first convo? What topics would you not be upset by? Hobbies/Foods/Vacations/TV/Music Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Maybe she's just interested in you and is trying to keep the conversation going and get to know you. Why is that a bad thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyTylenol Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 OK - look, I can see why you named yourself ConfusedDater but the confusion is being caused by yourself. Stop overthinking things, stop taking offence where none is intended and lighten up your attitude and conversation. Then you might find that dating is fun and interesting and nowhere near as confusing. ^^^ Spot on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Yes, CD what would you suggest would be good first questions? Now bear in mind that everyone is an individual, and just because we might think something does not mean that they are in unison with our thoughts. Whatsammatta wit you CD! *jaded cyber slaps CD around* LOL kidding. but you must be a frustrating date CD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted May 4, 2008 Author Share Posted May 4, 2008 OK - look, I can see why you named yourself ConfusedDater but the confusion is being caused by yourself. Stop overthinking things, stop taking offence where none is intended and lighten up your attitude and conversation. Then you might find that dating is fun and interesting and nowhere near as confusing. But how can dating be fun if I'm being asked the question in a job interview way? It sounds like a REQUIREMENT the way it's asked. and when I hear the question I want to say so bad-"WHY?????????????????????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Hobbies/Foods/Vacations/TV/Music cooking is a hobby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 But how can dating be fun if I'm being asked the question in a job interview way? It sounds like a REQUIREMENT the way it's asked. and when I hear the question I want to say so bad-"WHY?????????????????????????? then say it and see how the rest of the date goes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Portage Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I like men who cook and work. Simple enough. And if they pick up their socks i fall in love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 But how can dating be fun if I'm being asked the question in a job interview way? It sounds like a REQUIREMENT the way it's asked. and when I hear the question I want to say so bad-"WHY?????????????????????????? Actually, I kind of agree with you, confused. I like for the first few conversations I have with anyone to be light and playful. I`m not interested in knowing details about someone`s life until after I know that we can get along on a very basic level (ie: similar sense of humor, etc.) I used to laugh at men who would want to tell me all about what fantastics jobs they had within the first 2 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Hobbies/Foods/Vacations/TV/Music Cooking is a hobby. Food involves cooking. Vacations mean you'd be away from work, if you need a vacation then what's that say about your job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_win Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Hobbies/Foods/Vacations/TV/Music Foods as in cooking? I agree with DN's post. There was absolutely nothing wrong with those questions and they were actually in my opinion less arbitrary than asking about your favorite TV shows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I see nothing wrong with asking those questions on a first date. I personally enjoy my job and like to talk about it. These are light and casual questions for a first date. It's not like she asked your family health history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 But how can dating be fun if I'm being asked the question in a job interview way? It sounds like a REQUIREMENT the way it's asked. and when I hear the question I want to say so bad-"WHY?????????????????????????? Dating is A LOT like job hunting CD. The parallels are great. If you cannot deal with this then you might want to reconsider dating. Both require you to find candidates, talk to them, interview them as it were, do an initial screen to see if you both share the basic foundation of common interests and values and if you look the part for the job, if you are enthusiastic, etc. I dont' know why it is so annoying to you. You are on an interview on those initial dates...not literally but it is very similar. These women have most likely many other men vying for her time. She is trying to figure out who is her closest match. How else can she do that wihtout asking questions and engaging in conversation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 But how can dating be fun if I'm being asked the question in a job interview way? It sounds like a REQUIREMENT the way it's asked. and when I hear the question I want to say so bad-"WHY?????????????????????????? what are you looking for in a woman? what questions do you ask them that determine if you two are compatible. what would your ideal wife be like? i sometimes get the sense you are looking for a pretty girl who doesn't speak and that's it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocio Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 i sometimes get the sense you are looking for a pretty girl who doesn't speak and that's it. ...lol.. I want one too. Eye candy that doesn`t talk back! sweet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Actually, I kind of agree with you, confused. I like for the first few conversations I have with anyone to be light and playful. I`m not interested in knowing details about someone`s life until after I know that we can get along on a very basic level (ie: similar sense of humor, etc.) I used to laugh at men who would want to tell me all about what fantastics jobs they had within the first 2 minutes. I seriously doubt these questios were fired off like a questionnare. They are definitely the types of tihngs that would come up in casual convo. Asking someoen if they like to cook IMO IS light and playful. All sorts of funny things can be said afterwards in relation to the answer. Something tells me that CD isn't all that light and playful himself on those first dates either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I've asked both those questions, in a completely getting-to-know-someone way. I'm interested in whether someone cooks because it's something I enjoy doing and would like to know if the other person enjoys it also. It would be the same thing if I asked someone if they run, or play a sport, or play Scrabble. What's the difference? Same goes for whether someone likes his job- I want to know this because I think it says a lot about the person. Does this bother you because you don't cook and you hate your job? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JadedStar Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 ...lol.. I want one too. Eye candy that doesn`t talk back! sweet! I can't imagine how boring that must be. If i wanted eye candy that didn't i'd buy a poster. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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