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I Almost Did (All should read)


ghost69

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Ghost - - I hadn't a clue. You're so positive and I don't know just so - relaxed about things it seems. Thank you for sharing - I'm sure your experience will help others! I think the world is very fortunate that you chose to stay.

 

I have to admit. This opened my eyes and made me more aware of what my son may go through over the years. He seems to be pretty good to go so far but I am learning that ages 7/8 and up boys are so deep.. Appreciate it.

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Not my thread.

 

I know it's not your thread 15, I was just wondering if you are feeling better with less thoughts. I think Ghosts thread is about healing and finding your way. Ghost was able to overcome the thoughts of wanting to die. I think I have probably overcome most of my crazy thoughts about it as well. It would be great to see how many people that were so close, found their way back.

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Heck ghost thats so sad! I have stood in your mums shoes & my son has stood in yours. Very very similar life years back..AND he wants to give his dad a five finger death punch too!!

 

Well im glad you put the knife way

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You and I share a similar background Ghost. My father was an alcoholic womanizer that hit my mom and contributed to the nightmares I still have today about my dad coming home from the bar screaming at my mom for some imagined slight she had given him.

 

I didn't see my dad for 15 years. My mom like yours felt it was better for me to stay away from him though he made no effort to see me. No matter what he did to her though, she did not say many negative things about him because he was my father.

 

When I saw him, I could tell that he was filled with regret. When he ditched hanging out with me for a NASCAR party I realized he wasn't a spiteful person, just a guy that probably should never have been married and shouldn't have had kids. When he died he never even mentioned me in his Will. I didn't want anything from him but that final chapter of his life was a stinging slap in the face.

 

Like you, I could have been bitter. But, I learned from him what it is to be a bad father and use him as an example of what not to be as a father. I will give my 10 month old son what he never was to me. A loving, caring father.

 

Congratulations to you for everything you have achieved for yourself.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey.

 

I am curious. You say how you are glad you never killed yourself, but how can you be glad about a decision you never made. I am not saying suicide is good or anything, but I have a motto, even though it is a silly one, but it is a good one I think.

 

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

 

Suicide is the realm of the unknown. No one can ever know what is on the other side. Whether it is a relief from life or simply a harder life waiting on the other side. The only thing you can be really sure of is it's affect on the people that care about you. There will always be at least one person who misses you no matter how lonely you are.

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Hey.

 

I am curious. You say how you are glad you never killed yourself, but how can you be glad about a decision you never made. I am not saying suicide is good or anything, but I have a motto, even though it is a silly one, but it is a good one I think.

 

Don't knock it till you've tried it.

 

Suicide is the realm of the unknown. No one can ever know what is on the other side. Whether it is a relief from life or simply a harder life waiting on the other side. The only thing you can be really sure of is it's affect on the people that care about you. There will always be at least one person who misses you no matter how lonely you are.

 

i wouldn't go as far as saying 'don't knock it til you try it' about suicide. and of course i don't know what's on the other side or even if there even is one. but i like it here now. so much going on and so much beauty. why leave? someone gave me life here for a reason. ima stick it out. i'm not a quitter.

 

life ends at the first second of suicide.

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This is an excellent post. I had some similar experiences growing up. However, it was my dad who got custody of me at an early age. I did not meet my mother until I was an adult. My dad was very physically abusive and I often contemplated taking my own life. I have suffered from depression all my life, and suicide is always an end.

The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that there is still more to learn and experience in this life...

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This is an excellent post. I had some similar experiences growing up. However, it was my dad who got custody of me at an early age. I did not meet my mother until I was an adult. My dad was very physically abusive and I often contemplated taking my own life. I have suffered from depression all my life, and suicide is always an end.

The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that there is still more to learn and experience in this life...

 

exactly. then you can look back and say 'wow, i'd of missed out on this and this and this.....' and it continues.

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I am sorry , I know i should not be writing here but why do u saay your father is guilty for evrything he is human too after all, Im sure u will find true peace only when u make peace even with your father too.

,

I know that I am not normal in any way, i am not like evryone else ,,,, sorry but I don't live in Canadaa , US or in European union so ,, I do not deserve to live.

 

No matter what anyone ever told me i still believe that I do not deserve to live and i am uselles , tiered of using my brain and my body is too weak for phisical labour.

 

So youu all go on now and live with your lives I am just an Observer. Im tiered of looking out what am i saying so id rather be alone and stop talking with evryone,,, evryone allwais laughs at me and no one ever enjois talking with me.

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i don't say my father is guilty for everything. i realized it isn't me that had the problem. i can't blame myself for him mistreating me. i tried to be his son. he didn't seem to care to be my father. that chapter is closed.

 

and if you are having such a tough time living, start a thread for yourself and your issues and we can try and you help out.

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