lady00 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 I don't see any need to wait to contact. Go ahead and do it today. If texting is what you're most comfortable with, then do that. Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Hey Annie-- Texting never worked out for me, but cest la vie. I learned that texting became a bit of a game in some instances, so I decided to cut it out altogether and rely on voice to voice, seemed better that way. Just my experience... Link to comment
oh my god... ho Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 I texted him~ We are talking right now~! Yaaaaaaaaay =) Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 You are talking now, or texting? Wasn't sure which. The thing is, and I still share the same mindset as Tethys, is that a man who is actually very interested WILL ask for your number. This doesn't mean that if you text a guy in this case he won't respond or that you will never meet up again, but what it tells me is that he is not as interested in me as I am if i am doing the reaching out and that is a turn off to me. Sure, text guys all you want who don't get your number but in all honestly I would be leary of the longevity of the relationship you strike up. I do hope this works out for you tho, but my advice will still remain the same to anyone in a similar situation. There are times it works out. If it is only a couple more dates you want then it is a win/win some of the time but if you are hoping for a guy who really liked you on that first meet he normally goes out of his way more to ensure he sees you again. Link to comment
CaptainNapalm Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 See how easy that was everyone, she texted him, and he called her right away and they are talking right now. If she didn't she would still be sitting here confused on what to do, wondering, and waiting for days before calling him. Good for you! It really was that simple. Alternatively, if he didn't respond it would have been left at that and end of story, time to move on. Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Yeah easy -- they are talking right now which means everything will be a-okay from here on out. Because we know the future. Let's just wish her luck instead of making predictions. Link to comment
CaptainNapalm Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Forget about all this negativity that just because he didn't offer his contact it will not last. I'm going to say this as the last thing from my experience. The woman I was engaged to, who left me because she moved to Australia, who I was absolutely in love with years ago and would have married if she'd stayed, had met me at a street festival in Toronto. She approached me, we talked and I gave her my number, never asked for her's in return. When I first met her I was actually not that interested in pursuing her at the time because of my own reasons, just got out of a recent long term relationship, was enjoying the single life, had other issues in life, she ended up calling me (texting was not really an option back then), we ended up talking and I wasn't all that into her until about a month after which I absolutely started fallingl in love with everything about her. Point is, from my experience: "A start of anything is never an indicator of how it will work in the long run." One of my best friends recently got married after dating his girlfriend for 7 years. Absolutely loves this girl now and could not live without her actually did not like her all that much and was not that into her for the first 6 months they dated. Right now, he said he could not live without her and is a mess when she leaves for work for a week. Have fun with it, and all the best! Link to comment
Tethys Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Okay... again. Let's just wish the OP luck and hope all turns out well. Link to comment
CaptainNapalm Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Yes guys, that is what I'm trying to do, is be positive for her! She doesn't want to hear negative things right now. Even if this is not going to last it's best to be postivie and let her enjoy it as best as she can. And who knows, it may work! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 I agree. I am into being realistic, not sugar coating especially when it has to do with not getting hopes up about someone the person just met. I'd also be curious to know if they are talking on the phone or texting. If the latter, that's pretty neutral as far as whether he is interested in asking her on a date. If he is interested in her he will now get her number and plan a date. Link to comment
Brightest Dark Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 The thing to remember is that everyone is different. We don't all like charging into situations with full steam ahead. No-one should say 'call, call, don't text, just call' because a lot of us do feel more comfortable texting. She got the result she wanted by texting. Maybe people should learn that it's different strokes for different folks. Give your opinion on what you would do, but don't force it down someone else's throat - because reading this thread really makes it seem like some people think THEY are right and no-one else is. Remember, we're all different. Some people are shy and reserved, some people are 'normal', some people are loud, outgoing and will not hold back with anything. When everyone is different like that we can't all be expected to do the exact same thing. Sure, some of you may have had more success at doing it 'you way' than others, but that's 'your way' and not necessarily theirs. I hope OP sticks around and tells us how she gets on with this guy. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Yes, me too. I was just sharing from my experience - hundreds is a low estimate - and what I have found to be effective. There's no right or wrong. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I hope it works out for her too. I am giving advice on not only what i know worked for me but what i have found that works for countless others considering my years of being on forums like this. This isn't "my way" that I am advising her on. This is what i have found to be the majority for many others and I don't speak as a layperson as I have been on relationship forums for many years because this is an area that has always peaked my interest and i have a passion for psychology. Propensity does have its place in trying to reinforce winning outcomes for ourselves. Link to comment
littlestar Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 i dont think there is such thing as the right time frame to call or text someone. call or text when you feel ready, even if it is one day after. i have given numbers out and have had ppl call/text me within hours. Link to comment
littlestar Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I say....if he was that interested,he would have gotten yours....but...you can still call....just don't call and expect more then what it really is you know? why is it always up to the guy to get the phone number? its ok for girls to get guys numbers and call them to. doesnt mean the guy is any less interested. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 why is it always up to the guy to get the phone number? its ok for girls to get guys numbers and call them to. doesnt mean the guy is any less interested. Sure it's ok, of course it is. Why wouldn't it be? But, if you are looking for a relationship - not just a date or a fling - chances are that if he didn't ask for your number and he's not going to see you around over the next few days he is not that interested and probably gave his number just to be polite. Obviously there could be exceptions - such as the woman jokes that she never gives out her number and he doesn't realize she is joking. Most men I know, have known, have heard of, are more comfortable doing more of the initiating and pursuing in the beginning, and will ask for a woman's number if they are sincerely interested. They wouldn't want to risk losing touch with someone who sparked their interest, that's for sure. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 if i get a girl's number and i'm really interested, i don't do the X amount of days waiting game. i call the next day. Link to comment
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