kevinm Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 So on my internal quest I face the above question. Why is it that I obsess about new women? It's ridiculous. I just have all of these wonderful thoughts about meeting them and falling in love, etc, etc. It's like my dreams take over and then my thoughts get so far advanced rather than just letting a relationship develop. I'm currently talking to 3 women on-line now who all responded to my CL ad. Bachelorette #1 is too young, there will only ever be friendship between us. Yet I still flirt heavily with her. I don't really obsess about her though. Nothing serious here at all, no potential, just fun. I'm thinking about cutting this woman off for a variety of reasons. Bachelorette #2 is about an hour up the road. She responded to my CL ad. She is very mature, attractive, got her life together, etc. My adult side is very attracted to this woman. She seems really cool. The only thing is that our emails haven't been that much fun. I think we're both holding back a little with our replies. Still, I'm attracted to her, would like to get to know her better and possibly see if there is anything more with this woman. She is 3 years younger than me. No kids. Bachelorette #3 is a really fun girl. We have a lot in common, and our emails are a blast. For several emails back and forth she would not send me a picture of her. She kept me interested and we kept on writing back and forth just having a good time. Then she sent me a picture of herself, and WOW. I'm very very attracted to her physically, moreso than bachelorette #2. The problem here is that she only plans to be in my area for the summer. So I don't know if she is just looking to have some fun while staying in town before moving on. She did grow up here and has family in the area though. She also has a young son, which is always a factor. Getting back to my obsession question... I was obessing about #2 until #3 sent me her picture. But why do I obsess at all? I don't really know any of these women. How can I not allow the excitement to get the best of my judgement? -Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallingAllAngels Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 I can't tell you who do chose, but I think we all obsess to a certain degree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 i don't give men i am corressponding with much thought until we actually meet. i like to meet after a few emails, or 2 weeks of chatting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinm Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 Hummm. Good points. Yeah, so when do I ask to meet these girls? -Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 i'd trade a few emails with all of them and ask them out to meet for a walk, ice cream, coffee. something short. i would ask within 4-6 emails or 2 weeks, which ever comes first. that is just how i am though. i don't go on dating sites to make penpals. i have penpals on enotalone. looking for dates on dating sites! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladylay Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 i think that your "obsession" just stems from you idealizing these people. If you don't know someone than you are free to fantasize about who they could be. Variety is the spice of life and so when you see a new girl you dream up something newer and better. Once you get to know these girls you will know which one is better for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinm Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 Solid advice folks. Friends are telling me bachelorette #2. But bachelorette #3 I'm very attracted to and she's cool. Eh, I guess I should just get to know them both and see what happens. It's tough, I always want to accelerate the realationship and move things quickly. Theres another problem I face. Geez, I'm a mess, lol. Ladylay, yeah... I agree with you. It is idealizing. I just don't know how to stop beyond not listening to my heart and using my head. That's fine and all, but I'm such a passionate person. I don't want to become all bitter and hate all women and have all these rules for dating and so forth. It seems many posts I read her are just like that... posters who are bitter for whatever reason. I don't want to fall into that pit of negativity. -Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 yes, do not idealize, especially if you've never met! people on the internet use old photos sometimes, so make sure to meet to see the real package. i'd just meet them all. don't put expectations on a person you've never met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallingAllAngels Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 yes, do not idealize, especially if you've never met! people on the internet use old photos sometimes, so make sure to meet to see the real package. i'd just meet them all. don't put expectations on a person you've never met. I think that's great advice that annie gave...why not meet them all? why limit yourself to just one??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinm Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 Nah, #1 is not going to work out... I can tell already. She's too young and I think she is attracted to my money, which is a total turn off for me. She's cute and all, but not as attractive as #2 or #3. Now as for 2 and 3, I definitely plan to meet them. I'm working really hard not to become infatuated with either one. To keep my cool, stay objective, and be myself. Hence why I'm here on ENA, to have my fellow enots slap me in the face to maintain my composure. I'm paitently waiting on more emails from both right now. Will keep everyone posted. Thank you all for the advice. -Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 First of all, don't tell them you have money. Secondly, clue them in about the 'hotdog' thing, and see if they're still interested. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallingAllAngels Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 First of all, don't tell them you have money. Secondly, clue them in about the 'hotdog' thing, and see if they're still interested. LOL The hotdog? Did I miss that in the post? Is he a hotdog vendor? ~Allie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I can't say...I'll let him explain it to ya. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevinm Posted April 28, 2008 Author Share Posted April 28, 2008 Hahaha... the hot dog thing, lmao. Well, I don't want to paint a picture here The money thing is difficult. I don't outwardly express the fact that I have money. And it's not that I'm loaded either, just secure, have money for emergencies, nice vacations, etc. That said, it would be nice to find someone on the same level financially. Or ambitious and educated to where their future actually involved a career and not a job. -Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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