Set Back....

[Litgirl01]

LITTTTTTTT babes xxx

 

 

my date went great! but or should I say BUT it reminded me of my ex because I found myself thinking he wouldnt have done that or he wouldnt have said that etc, so I was honest with the guy and told him that I had just come out of a two yr relationship.

 

In some stupid way, being with him reminded me of the sort of relationship I really want (ie, the comfortable one with my ex), so I've decided NOT to date yet till Im a bit further up the road. That said, coffee man totally understood and said lets do lunch once a month if your interested? to which I said yes.

 

All's well that ends well

 

 

Good for you! I know how it makes you miss your ex!!! Good...once a month then!! Good to feel wanted ay??? xx

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

Glad to hear from you! Thank you for your kind words! I miss him so bad it hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I know THAT place! this last week has been a nightmare to be honest. Worse than when we broke up, so work that one out?

 

I have tried to by reading a pile of stuff one afternoon at the Uni library, and our conscious mind has known since the break up that they are 'gone' but subconsciously we've wanted them back. Our subconscious has been 'searching' for them since the break up, so if we see a car like theirs from 50,000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 yards it wont escape us, we will notice it even if its out of the corner of our eye etc. I think this stage of things is our subconscious doing a last sweep so to speak, which is why theyre so there all the time in our heads.

 

If we can get through this I think its all going to be easier.

 

fingers crossed! (and toes x)

[Litgirl01]

I was thinking that too hope...that it was my subconscious realizing that he is not coming back...the loss of hope. I want to write him an email asking him why he stopped loving me! What did I do? All rationality has gone out the window!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

I was thinking that too hope...that it was my subconscious realizing that he is not coming back...the loss of hope. I want to write him an email asking him why he stopped loving me! What did I do? All rationality has gone out the window!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

 

first, DONT PANIC. I say that because thats the emotion I think I've been having. Just that feeling of panic when I think I'm NEVER EVER going to see him again.

 

just think about it. What will happen if you contact him? If you email him and he doesnt reply how will you feel? If he replies, but you dont like the contents how will you feel?

 

either way youve got to be able to deal with the consequences of having contact. If your not at that place yet DONT DO IT! save it, and contact him when youve got some more healing time under your belt.

 

You know your going to have contact with him again, either he will contact you or you him, so dont panic about that, but protect your heart from a big slap in the face right now and curb those itchy email fingers!

[Litgirl01]

I am panicking....exactly what you said! I AM SO UNHAPPY! I definitely don't want the slap in the face!

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

ok, I'll save the slap in the face for another time

 

but seriously, I knew you would be panicing because thats what I'm doing. Just dont act on it. Know that NOTHING GOOD will come of acting in panic mode. Trust that doing NOTHING right now is actually doing something. Its protecting you from more harm (heartache), and stick with us kid, we'll get ya through it!

[EyesOnThePrize]

Why am I thinking of HHGTTG?

 

If Hope is slapping your face, dips on your butt!

[CatsMeeoow]

ok, I'll save the slap in the face for another time

 

but seriously, I knew you would be panicing because thats what I'm doing. Just dont act on it. Know that NOTHING GOOD will come of acting in panic mode. Trust that doing NOTHING right now is actually doing something. Its protecting you from more harm (heartache), and stick with us kid, we'll get ya through it!

 

YES - heed those words well - I always act out when in a panick... AND it never goes well... AND I always regret it...

 

Let me make all the mistakes for you so you know exactly what NOT to do... read all my threads... I'm a classic dope that does it all wrong... AND, look where I am at?

 

There will be a point in time where you can contact him... so rest assured you'll speak again just not when your emotions are so wound up.

 

Hang in there and if needed someone can come over and duct tape your hands to your chair!

[Brokenhearted87]

Litgirl......take solace in this: you are stronger than many, especially me, even when in panic mode. I contacted my ex today to inform him I wasn't pregnant after all but have a growth in my ovary...he never believed I was anyway. Heard nothing back. From my best friend and closest confidante. It's nearly 4am here, and I've been babysitting tonight. About 1am, I don't know why, I freaked out. The fear I'd never talk to him again, coupled with seeing he had blocked me on MSN, and hadn't even contacted me on hearing I'm sick! I rang his phone about 5 times (he never turns it off....and I know he was up as he stays up always till like 3or4am)....then texted him twice...apologising for calling so late in the first....saying some random crappy friendly chit chat in the 2nd and that I was sorry again for calling, and I'd phone him 2moro if that was ok, cos we hadn't talked in ages *and last time we spoke it had ended civilly with the friendship agreement and him saying he'd talk to me later*

 

He's right. I am a psycho. Where the hell did that come from?! I have issues. Last time we spoke he was even like "I think you need to go and speak to someone about this....you're not reacting normally at all....this is not the biggest thing that's gonna happen to you in your life"

 

I feel like such a nutcase. I don't want him out of my life forever in EVERY capacity. He doesn't even believe or care that I have to face this growth now either. It hurts so badly to be cut out from him.

[Litgirl01]

Hope....I luv ya!!! ;-)

 

Cats...you don't do everything wrong! LOL You just cope the best way you know how!

 

Miss Kitty....my ex is British and his name isn't Michael! LOL

 

Broken...hang in there sister! ((((hugs)))))

 

MY QUESTION:

 

HOW DO YOU FIND HAPPINESS WITHIN YOURSELF???

 

Especially when life has given you more than your fair share of hard knocks. I look around and I see people who just have so much good luck...where I have been through the ringer!!! LITERALLY!!!!

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

 

MY QUESTION:

 

HOW DO YOU FIND HAPPINESS WITHIN YOURSELF???

 

Especially when life has given you more than your fair share of hard knocks. I look around and I see people who just have so much good luck...where I have been through the ringer!!! LITERALLY!!!!

 

thats not good luck, its GOOD CHOICES.

 

Iv come to realise we make our own luck. If we do nothing, nothing happens, if we do something, something happens, so the key is to do something and to make it the RIGHT something.

 

The next guy I get involved with I'm going to try and pick based on good characteristics, employment, personality etc, instead of having boyfriends who are sexy as h*ll but unemployed psychopaths! (not literally, but you get my drift) lol.

 

Iv never worried about what job they do or what their circumstances were because I think people should be given a chance, but THATS where Im going wrong. Im going to give people who have taken care of their life path a chance this time and see how it works out

[Brokenhearted87]

thats not good luck, its GOOD CHOICES.

 

Iv come to realise we make our own luck. If we do nothing, nothing happens, if we do something, something happens, so the key is to do something and to make it the RIGHT something.

 

The next guy I get involved with I'm going to try and pick based on good characteristics, employment, personality etc, instead of having boyfriends who are sexy as h*ll but unemployed psychopaths! (not literally, but you get my drift) lol.

 

Iv never worried about what job they do or what their circumstances were because I think people should be given a chance, but THATS where Im going wrong. Im going to give people who have taken care of their life path a chance this time and see how it works out

 

I hear you. The next guy I go out with (though it will be a loooooooong time before I even feel bothered to date/kiss/whatever)....will not be a complete and utter mummy's boy. Add sisters to that too! And he will not be as selfish as my ex.

 

But I do believe you make your own happiness,but circumstances sure do have a way of trying to throw you off course!

[Litgirl01]

Hope and broken....my ex works for Delphi! In a factory! He makes decent money but works all weekend! I thought..no problem..I don't care what he does! I LOVE HIM!!!! There was no problem really...except for the kind of people that he worked with that became his friends! They were a bunch of w***ers! > And he took advice from them like they were somehow worthy of giving advice. Not all of them are like that but the majority were! One guy that my ex hung around had a girlfriend but he would sleep with prostitutes all the time! So, he kept company with low-lifes...none of them in happy relationships (misery loves comany). This had an affect on him!