HNR Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Hi, I'm new to the thread and stumbled accross it in Google. I had a VERY messy split with my other half - he broke up with me in January, and it was a long, drawn out split. I screamed, shouted and physically attacked him, as he confessed he was interested in someone else, after years of me neglecting him...(cancelling dates at the last minute etc). I've really blown it with him; I know it. If I was him, I'd have dumped me years ago (we were together 10 years and broke up three times in that time - this being the last time. I split with him the previous two times - because I sensed him becoming distant - and this time he split with me.) There was a lot of me contacting him, crying and pleading up until about 10 days ago. Then I stopped contacting him. Yesterday, for the first time I woke up without thinking about him - which I thought was real progress! This evening, however I'm all tears and crying again - and having anxiety attacks. I can hardly type this I'm crying so much. He's been seeing this girl at his work and has moved on. I feel (because of my behavior neglecting and not paying him due attention and respect) that he began emotionally detaching himself from me about 8 months before we split. I do wish him all the best, and know that I deserve this, but I'm an emotional wreck....Please someone help me..... Do I wish he'd take me back - oh yes. Is this going to happen. No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Im really sorry you feel this way. I know how hard it is. You seem to have been begging and pleading for a long time, and i dont think it helped at all. You may have been on your way to healing by now. We are all here for you so post as much as you want. How was he when you were contacting him so often? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HNR Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 He ignored my pleas and just made cheerful chit chat about films, Tv etc. He did the same thing in response to my emails ...just made small talk.....just polite....I think he responds because he feels sorry for me, but doesn't he doesn't refer at all to my pleass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I think you're right. I think that you should now start to concentrate on yourself. How come all of a sudden you decided to stop? I mean what made you stop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HNR Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 Actually, although, I know that he would never take me back now, the first message on the thread below, which suggested that I may actually be reinforcing his relationship with his 'rebound' (if that's what she is). The thought caused me even more pain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbielovesmac Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I am really sorry that you feel this way, but it's not called "Enotalone" for nothing ... because you are not alone. I too, am going through a very messy breakup. We've been broken up about two months now. I have my moments where I am completely FINE and then I can wake up the next day ... hurting and in turmoil all over again and asking myself the "whys" and the "what if's" but really, where does that get us in the end? No where but right where we started. So essentially it's just the healing process. You need to start seperating yourself from him and by that I mean go NO CONTACT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightNshiningarmor Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 i think your just going to have to learn from your mistakes and move on it seems he already has completely and unless he makes some effort to come back looks like any effort you make will only push him further away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbielovesmac Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 it's really beyond your control right now. if he wants to be with you, then that's it; he'll be with you. but if he doesn't then there is nothing you can do to change his mind. so now it's your turn to look the other way and make things better for YOURSELF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I just read it. It makes a lot of sense. How long has he been seeing this new girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HNR Posted April 23, 2008 Author Share Posted April 23, 2008 I just read it. It makes a lot of sense. How long has he been seeing this new girl? Well, around December when he was saying that he was having second thoughts about us, she told him about a previous break up she had had when she went to her ex's house and pleaded with him through the letterbox - and he wouldn't let her in. I told him that I thought that this story was inappropriate, due to our situation, and he said, 'don't be silly, she's a really nice person....we should play badminton with her and (another co-worker). She seemed to be giving him relationship advice. Then he broke up with me New Years eve. We went to counselling, and met up socially (with friends) for a while...but generally kept our distance. Then last month, I asked him if he liked her and he said yes. I can't say exactly when they became an item, but I believe it was around mid March... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 He broke up with you on NEW YEAR EVE!!!! what an * * * * I'm really sorry about all of this. You never know he may do the same to her or even better she might give him to boot! If she knew he had a GF she should have kept her distance. Maybe this is her rebound relationship. You are better off without him I think. I think all of us here on ENA are worth 10 of our ex's and I hope we all realise it soon xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jraf Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 as he confessed he was interested in someone else, after years of me neglecting him...(cancelling dates at the last minute etc). I've really blown it with him; I know it. If I was him, I'd have dumped me years ago (we were together 10 years and broke up three times in that time - this being the last time. I split with him the previous two times - because I sensed him becoming distant - and this time he split with me.) I feel (because of my behavior neglecting and not paying him due attention and respect) that he began emotionally detaching himself from me about 8 months before we split. Hopefully, you've learned something about yourself that you can improve upon so your next relationship is better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mankow Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 When reading all of this I am losing my faith in people. How will I ever get over it? So many complications, misunderstandings and strong emotions. Too much drama for me, I give up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 When reading all of this I am losing my faith in people. How will I ever get over it? So many complications, misunderstandings and strong emotions. Too much drama for me, I give up! Losing your faith in people? Dont give up!!!!!!! Keep going and you will be fine xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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