guitars Posted April 24, 2008 Author Share Posted April 24, 2008 Well I think if you could think of something you would both enjoy then maybe you could approach her and ask her if she wants to do it. Do you think she would? But be prepared to be turned down though. Dont get ur hopes up too much I would deem it "risky" and I haven't completely made up my mind yet. Part of thinks that I should keep it in reserve as a reconciliation plan in a few months time. Then again, I might wait a bit and see if she finds some reason to get in touch with me and then slip it into that conversation. Then at least I don't look like I've been thinking about it this much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Yeah, if you thinkt hat it wouldnt go down too well at the moment then dont do it. You need to establish some kinda of friendship where she feels comfortable first I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donescobar2000 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Ok after reading this now I think that you should go NC for a while and see if she contacts you. If she doesnt send her a text in a month or 2 and see how she is then. What mean if you have a valuable reason to be in wontact like music? Hope I am not high jacking here...but how do you do no contact when your ex is sitting on your IM list and she contacts you everyday? Just ignore? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenhearted87 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Hope I am not high jacking here...but how do you do no contact when your ex is sitting on your IM list and she contacts you everyday? Just ignore? If you really have no desire to talk to her, Block her. I didn't even contact my ex through IM and he blocked me....there ya go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Hope I am not high jacking here...but how do you do no contact when your ex is sitting on your IM list and she contacts you everyday? Just ignore? depends if you can handle the contact. If you cant then I would block her, I kinda think it's rude to ignore people, even ex's lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donescobar2000 Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 depends if you can handle the contact. If you cant then I would block her, I kinda think it's rude to ignore people, even ex's lol Right...check your pms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 27, 2008 Share Posted April 27, 2008 Hope I am not high jacking here...but how do you do no contact when your ex is sitting on your IM list and she contacts you everyday? Just ignore? hi ive tried replying to you but it says you have it set so you cant receive them. Hi, No I don't mind at all Ok. see what you mean. Well... what you could do to limit the contact is block her for a few days, then take her off block, talk for a little then say you're off out or busy and you will talk again soon.... then back on block for a few days. This way she wont think you're stuck at home on the internet all the time either and she will wonder where you are. Hope this helps Feel free to ask anything else this is my reply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitars Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 Well, sure enough, she went and did it: "Basically what this comes down to is that I can't be preoccupied with you all the time. I can't keep playing out my codependency with you via the internet and my own imagination. It's too painful and it is really taking an emotional and physical toll on me. I feel really sad and angry about lots of things that happened over the course of our relationship. I feel mad at you, and deeply, deeply disapointed by the whole situation. I feel a huge, overwhelming sense of grief and loss right now. This is not at all an easy decision to make or email to write. It took me a week to write it, and then several days after that to actually send it to you. I don't know what is going to happen between us in the future. Right now it seems pretty impossible for us to be friends again. Right now it seems like, you have your life, I have mine. Maybe that will change. Maybe someday it won't seem so hard. Very little in my life seems clear to me right now. I want you to know that I care about you a lot, and I will always think of you as my family, even if we never speak again. We have been through too much together for the connection to ever really be severed." So apparently I'm in charge of her imagination now? How can I play this, ENA? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpkinmoon Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Is that the email she sent you? If it were me I would write back saying that you respect her decision or if not just dont write back at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AronSchneider Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 This is very clear. She thinks is hard to talk with you because she has all this guilt feelings being the one that dumped you. If she is feeling guilty its good but it can also be wrong depending how you look at it. If you want her back someday you most always agree with her. Write back to her that you agree with her, that if she feels that away you should give her some space and you also feel that space is needed (the last thing is beacuse you do not want to look weak). Agreeing is the best thing you can do, if you don’t agree with her and continue to send E-mails you will push her further away until there is no chance to get her back. LC can only be good if you play it right. An example what good LC is: Keep NC for 2 months, call her hang out with her one hour, and call her back one-two weeks later. Hang out and then go NC until she calls you back and want to hang out. If your conversations is depressive, is about the relationship, is not happy and there is a cloud of sadness it is not going to work. MSN, texting, E-mails and even calling is bad. Only meeting in real time is meaningful. I don’t call my ex, send her E-mails and text her because of that is reason. I don’t want it that way. Another example of good LC is that you are very active, happy and so on and just start texting all the time like when you like a girl and the dates are becoming more frequent and your are the step of being back together. This type of heavy LC can only be done after lots of NC and some good meetings and fun time together. My advice to you is to agree with her can go NC and then call her in two months and then hang out little in IRL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitars Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 The thing that gets me is that we've been in extreme LC for a good few weeks now. I've barely contacted her at all! She decided to come and see me in a parade on Saturday and I think that that prompted all of this. I didn't invite her, we didn't talk at all on Saturday, I didn't acknowledge seeing her in the crowd, didn't send her an email about seeing her. I didn't do anything! She's going through all of this with no input from me at all. There was more to the email, but I didn't want to post the whole thing. Apparently she's been checking my myspace/facebook quite a bit, which was a surprise to me. She's a mess, right? I'm fine with going NC (we're practically already in NC!); I just wish that she would grow up and acknowledge that the guilt and pain that she's going through is due to the fact that she still has strong feelings for me. "You have your life, I have mine. Maybe that will change." - sheesh, that's the way she wanted it! What did she expect? You push someone away HARD and then start feeling all worked up because your lives don't intersect anymore? We have plenty of common ground to build on if she would just not be such a wuss about this whole thing. Eh, ranting...better here than directly to her, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emalkoc Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Hope I am not high jacking here...but how do you do no contact when your ex is sitting on your IM list and she contacts you everyday? Just ignore? Ignoring would be rude and ruins all possible future relationship possibilities. Just Block her. OR The next time she contacts, nicely say to her that "Although I would love to talk to you about us but this is too confusing and I am not able to move on, I would appriciate please not to contact to me for a while unless you want to talk about us" Believe me this will solve a lot of problems. Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donescobar2000 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Ignoring would be rude and ruins all possible future relationship possibilities. Just Block her. OR The next time she contacts, nicely say to her that "Although I would love to talk to you about us but this is too confusing and I am not able to move on, I would appriciate please not to contact to me for a while unless you want to talk about us" Believe me this will solve a lot of problems. Eric The blocking...may or may not work...she can easily tell a friend to add me and see if I am online. Then she has known me to ALWAYS be online via my T Mobile Sidekick...so I dont know how to get around it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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