Been talking to ex lately...need advice

[xxYoure My Butterflyxx]

Hi everyone.

 

Quick backstory: ex and I were together for over a year, broke up late 2006. Not much contact since then, just a little here and there. But I've been talking to him a lot this week.

 

We've had some really good conversations, and some interesting ones too. He's told me a few times that I look hot (I've changed my appearance and look rather different to how I looked while with him) and he's actually mentioned that he wouldn't mind hooking up with me again. I don't want to do this, because although I'm pretty much healed, (I still have my bad days every so often) I will not have emotionless sex with him.

 

He seems to be giving the impression that after all this time of NC, he wants to keep talking to me. He keeps texting me, and when we're texting, he will keep the conversation going, and even send another text to make sure the conversation continues when I don't reply right away (because I'm at work, or busy).

 

He has also suggested meeting up so we can catch up, as we haven't seen each other in person since the breakup. (We've only seen each other while driving down the street, from inside our cars.)

 

Should I meet up with him? I'm curious to see what he wants. He says he'd like to catch up, but we've been doing that by talking every day this week. I don't have any feelings for him anymore, but talking to him this week has brought back a lot of good memories of when we were happy together, and there's even been a bit of flirting and teasing.

 

What do you think he wants? Could he be interested, or is he just after a hook-up?

 

Thanks for reading.

[Russ]

Curiosity killed the cat. From the patterns you describe, it looks like he wants something physical. I'd allow myself a catch up session, with a few boundries.

[Lisa_Grimino]

There's always a reason why they're your ex.

Be friends, but don't go there again, especially just for the hook-up. Someone always gets hurt.

[redsquare]

Hi everyone.

 

I will not have emotionless sex with him.

 

 

 

Thanks for reading.

 

oh, that is such a mistake !! WHY NOT !???!

[xxYoure My Butterflyxx]

Thanks for your advice guys. I don't want to meet up with him if that's all he wants, but when I told him its not going to happen, he insisted he still wants to meet up, and that its fine if I don't want to hook up. If he doesn't just want sex, what *does* he want?

 

oh, that is such a mistake !! WHY NOT !???!

 

Are you serious?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You should only meet up with him if you are sure you are over him and feelings won't get re-kindled. He could be setting the stage to turn on the charm and get a friends with benefits deal with you. Be careful. He is flirting with you, teasing you, making sure the conversation keeps going and even said he would like to hook up with you. If he was interested in a relationship with you he would not have mentioned hooking up...he would have been more respectful. So I suspect that his interest in meeting you has more to do with trying his luck with you...seducing you, than about catching up.